Editor’s Note: The more we see and hear about rapes and eve teasing, the more, as parents, we feel that we should make our children aware of what is a good touch and what is a bad touch. Have you taught your child the difference? Here are a few steps that our member Shanvy has taken. Share yours with us too, here.
A topic that has been troubling me for some time. During my vacation, I met my neighbour, and her 5 year old daughter. The daughter used to play with my DS and DD all the time. She was a permanent fixture at our home.
Now, when she met the kids, she went and started hugging DD and playing with her, and avoiding DS. I was wondering what has happened to her. Then slowly, the mom says “Shanthi,The school has said, they are finding it difficult to keep watch on the kids all the time, what with the labourers, car drivers and all, so please teach the kids the difference between a good touch and bad touch..” and “Also since I did not know how to teach her, I just told her not to touch or be touched by boys, uncles …”
That raised a question in my mind, How do we exactly teach the good and bad touch? Though my daughter is 12 and can understand,I really don’t know if teaching the difference is enough.
Take for example the case of the 6 year old girl who was raped by the school bus driver last saturday.. How do we avoid such things..
Though the easiest way is to drop and pick the child ourselves, will it not make the child dependent on us and not learning how to defend and survive? Going by the happenings today, both boy and girl have to be taught good and bad touch, and also to be more tough. Will it affect their thought process, and relationships in later life. will the fear become a permanent one?
Me as a mother:
- I have told my DD that if she is not comfortable with any thing happening she can discuss with me.
- I don’t allow her to wear short skirts, sleeveless when she goes alone to her music class, or any other activity.
- I am also sending them for karate classes. I also tell her to always practice the self defence moves.
- I have told her never be afraid.
Fear is the threatening factor in most of these abuses. The fear to talk to the parents about anything that is happening. Some abuses would not happen in a day. It would be a process. So if the child braves it to tell us maybe we can avoid such situations.
And as parents we need to keep a watch also. I feel it is a topic needed at this hour.