Editor’s Note: When you really aspire for a thing but do not get it, it is natural to feel disappointed.You might feel very sad and also lose motivation to do anything. But how can you pull yourselves up and move on with life?

When one of our ILites had a similar question, she sought out the help of others. Here is here question and some positive solutions that were provided.

abc00’s question:

Right now I’m dealing with a situation and wanted to get something I love the most(not a person) and I’m not getting it. I’m making my efforts with utmost dedication but I’m not succeeding. I’m losing self-confidence and having a tough time with myself. I do not want to share with anyone because sometimes I feel people around me feel happy to see me in such situation. Please suggest something positive.


Here is what Srama has to say

Obviously whatever that is you are seeking is important to you. Let us assume that as your long term goal. One way to deal with this is to have Short term goals that will eventually and hopefully lead to what you want. In the end when you look back either you would have got to your long term goal or you can see how much you have benefited from your short term goals and who knows what you want then might have changed. Enjoy whatever you are doing keeping it as a long term objective and inching your way to it.

And this is from Ansuya

Here is a suggestion for dealing with the psychological aspect of your predicament; write about it. Keep a journal specifically for this purpose, and write down your thoughts and feelings whenever you become preoccupied with this issue. This will serve a number of purposes:

  • It will keep your matter private, yet give you a chance to vent. I understand the need to get it all out, but I also understand that you do not want to give fodder to people who may take perverse delight in your difficulties (and believe me, I know they’re out there, just waiting to pounce). This way, you are able to have an inner dialogue, with yourself, about this issue.
  • It’ll stop you from obsessing. If you find yourself being overwhelmed by feelings of frustration, regret, inadequacy, and failure, write it all down without editing. As soon as you get it all out, and get it on paper, you will find that some of the burden has been lifted. Later, when you go back and read what you wrote, it’ll help you to put things in perspective. Often, things seem especially hopeless when we’re in the grip of strong emotion. If we can examine our thoughts and feelings in a more stable mental state, our reading of the situation will be more realistic in future.
  • You can have a solid record of your timeline for achieving your goals, and of the little achievements and setbacks you face along the way. Let your journal be your most trusted, non-judgmental friend. It will keep track of your progress for you, and hopefully, give you better insights into your mind and the way it works. This will enable you to grow as a person and become stronger when it comes to facing challenges.

Have tips to overcome this problem? Share them here.