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What Got You Here Won't Get You There - Introduction

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by buddingleader, Dec 2, 2016.

  1. buddingleader

    buddingleader Silver IL'ite

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    Hello Everyone!

    I came across a cute loving old couple recently. I was stunned at the understanding they had. I envy them. I doubt whether my husband and I will pass on for a couple like that. See we are just in twenties. So, there is a good chance that when we get older we will be like them too, won’t we? But brain picked up on this subject pretty seriously and started doing its own analysis on how they had a successful marriage. Probably they would have done everything to each other’s likes. Now this is tricky. How can I do everything my husband likes? I can’t watch the stupid football match just to make our marriage successful. I got into a debate whether to do things to his likes or not. To divert me from all this havoc thoughts, I immersed myself into a book, which I borrowed from one of my colleagues last week. I am glad that I did. It was a very good read and also offered a solution to my so called problem. Oh yeah! I missed to tell the book title. “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There” by Marshal Goldsmith. I can’t hold myself back without posting the book review.

    Before telling how it solved my personal problem, let me talk about a very effective professional advice offered by this book. We would have come across so many successful people at our workplace. Whenever I come across one, I make a mental note of what would have actually brought them success. I always thought if I analyze this way, I can frame my to-do list to become as successful as them. After reading this book, I understood that I should be taking note of not to do list rather than to-do list. Let’s take a break for a minute. Is there anything you don’t like in your supervisor? It might be any annoying habit. You don’t want to do the same thing in future, do you? He has become your supervisor for various other qualities he possesses. In other words, he has reached there in spite of his bad qualities. But it doesn’t mean he will have to keep doing his bad habits. People tend to do things without knowing that’s actually affecting their growth. This book clearly outlines the common bad habits which might put a full stop to our career.

    So, finally I am relieved. To have a happy married life, we need not do things as per each other’s likes. Instead, we should just stop doing that annoying habit other’s hates. It looks simpler, isn’t it? I would recommend every one of you to read this book. Who knows? You will find a solution for the personal problem as well. It’s just an introduction about this book. I will come up with the reviews of the next chapter soon. Until then, Bye!
     
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  2. periamma

    periamma IL Hall of Fame

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    "Instead, we should just stop doing that annoying habit other’s hates."True words.Well said
     
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  3. peddadas

    peddadas Platinum IL'ite

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  4. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @buddingleader,

    Thank you for recommending the book to the ILites. I wrote a snippet a few years back and I thought it would be relevant to quote it here in response to your thread.

    Compatibility

    The couple are bound to have differences in their thinking, attitude, temperament, etc. As long as they have basic love for each other and the attitude of considering the views of others, the life will be better. If they are similar, the life will be dull and it is the differences and how they resolve them makes life much more interesting. Most important factor is not to bring third party into resolving issues between them. They are parallel lines in which the family runs and they need to understand each others role. Both are essential for the family train to run.

    Viswa
     
  5. jayasala42

    jayasala42 IL Hall of Fame

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    Nice thoughts.They accept and live with differences.They agree to disagree.That is the essence.
    Jayasala 42
     
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  6. suryakala

    suryakala IL Hall of Fame

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    Dear @buddingleader ,

    Today my husband kept the coffee on the side and kept on writing. All of a sudden he took the cup and there was this following talk:

    DH: Sorry, you have to keep worrying whether I drink or not.
    I: Yes, I have to give you coffee at the right temperature and keep watching and worrying, why don't you drink it first and do your work?
    DH: Please don't worry about me. Relax. I will drink it anyway.
    I: No. It will become cold.
    DH: Please relax. I can drink it cold.
    I: I will not. I will have to worry. Tell me if it has become cold.

    I walked away thinking that this was (for 39 years) and this is and this will be always my worry to take care of him.
    I know it was also his thoughts on many other occasions about me. We know that this bond will always be there. I am not alone. Many in our IL Family are like this, if we value and love what the Indian mothers have taught their daughters and Indian fathers have taught their son. Aren't we proud of ourselves!

    It is a beautiful review of the book “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There”

    I also feel every successful person develops his own style, of course, with a cumulative knowledge of do's and don't accumulated, and assimilated over a period along with one's own inner wisdom used throughout life.
     
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  7. iyerviji

    iyerviji IL Hall of Fame

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    First of all congrats for being nominated by @Rihana. Thanks for recommending the book. I second whatever Viswa has written. I had written a snippet "May be we are different from each other but we complete each other" and I got finest post award too. Me and my husband are different in some things but since 43 years I have been respecting him and his thoughts . In the beginning I used to feel we are not a goodmatch but as I grew understood him very well and always do whatever he likes. Now in our old age we love each other and I feel blessed to be his better half. From him learnt that there is happiness in leading a simple life. I know what he needs and act accordingly. Today also I gave him sweet payasam instead of milk in the afternoon andhe was so happy and told me how you knew I wanted to have this. We share everything , dont eat anything without offering the other person . Only thing which I dont like is he does not go to the Doctor when he is not well only if it is serious he will go .

    I second Viswa's feedback.

    Thanks for the thought provoking post.
     
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  8. buddingleader

    buddingleader Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks periamma for dropping in :) Keep reading!
     
  9. buddingleader

    buddingleader Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks peddadas :) It is the encouragement from you guys which pulls me to write more posts.
     
  10. buddingleader

    buddingleader Silver IL'ite

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    Thanks a lot Viswa sir for your feedback. Each and every sentence on compatibility is completely true. Thanks for sharing from your snippet here. It would be a lesson for all married couples.
     

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