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Time management - cooking, cleaning, and exercise

Discussion in 'Spotless Kitchen' started by kkrish, Apr 22, 2012.

  1. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra IL Hall of Fame

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    @Bubbles,

    Assuming you need 7-8 hours sleep with your LO around you, you have only 16-17 hours available for other activities. The best way to do allocate time is to assign 3-4 hours for your LO for bath, feeding, reading, play time, etc., 6-8 hours for your studies and limit your daily chorus to only 5-7 hours. Keep plenty of drawing/coloring books for your LO to be occupied while you are studying. The work expands itself to the time available unless you allocate your time for specific tasks. Change the schedule starting immediately and everything will fall in place including in-laws and H helping you to achieve your goal and your LO getting used to the routine.

    Viswa
     
    Bubbles, kkrish and msm like this.
  2. msm

    msm Gold IL'ite

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    Exactly Sir.

    My two cents would be, Unless you are dedicated/committed to your 6 hrs no matter what happens, demands from external sources can't be controlled. I would suggest split your 6 hrs req. to three 2 hrs blocks or two 3 Hrblocks and squeeze your chores into the time slot instead of squeezing your study into your chores.

    And also as JAG suggested, try to limit your kitchen timings and cook same food for everyone.
     
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  3. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    Continuing.
    d) Do dishes only twice day. Once after lunch and once after dinner. Ok ur sink wont be pretty but thats ok . Its not the end of the world and if it bothers someone at home hand them ur scrubber.
    e)After lunch take rest for 30 min or so and hten once ir LO sleeps study until tea time.
    f) 5 pm make coffee/tea . Keep it for hubby in the flask .Keep snacks out at the same time on the dining table for everyone .
    g) While ur PIL are having cofee handover ur LO head into kitchen and wrap up dinner . Make sure u are done by the time ur hubby is back. Chat with him for few min and around 630 - leave the family room/dining area. Ask ur DH to take the kid to a park. U should have another couple of hours to study now.
    h)Once they are all back eat dinner clear up and head to ur room by 9.30 max.
    10pm - 11.30 study.

    For all this to work u really need to arm urself with a menu and a lot of prep work.
    tagging @kkrish who pretty much owns this :) process.
     
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  4. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Can you appoint a cook till you are done with your exam? I felt exhausted just reading your schedule. You will need others to adjust and cooperate till you finish studying. Simply rearranging your tasks is like trying to organize clutter: nothing really changes. Impress upon your husband and in-laws the need for a temporary change of routine.
     
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  5. kkrish

    kkrish IL Hall of Fame

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    Thank you @justanothergirl .
    You have given wonderful suggestions, and so have @Viswamitra and @msm. I really do not know what else to add.

    @Bubbles ... my head was spinning when I read your day. Wow, cooking from morning 6:30 and closing kitchen at 2 pm? That's a whopping eight hours!! :yikes:Then again from 5 pm to midnight? That's another 6 - 7 hours!!:yikes::yikes:

    I re-read the post to determine where and why it is taking you so much time. Yes I did find the culprits and JAG, Viswa, and msm, have referred to those culprits and how to handle them.

    However, while I was reading your post the second time something else occurred in my mind. That is that you are good at managing your day. I had read your numerous posts in the SAHM thread. I also remembered your post just a few weeks earlier and there it is, post #4415, (Time management - cooking, cleaning, and exercise )where you have given some very good time management tips.

    So, this post of yours actually perturbs me.

    I think if you apply JAG's, Viswa's, and msm'S suggestions you should be good. If they do not work go with what @MalStrom suggested.

    Best wishes for success in your exams.
     
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2018
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  6. Bubbles

    Bubbles Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you @justanothergirl @Viswamitra @msm @MalStrom @lazy @kkrish for your kind and wise replies.

    I couldn't help laughing at the second part of @kkrish's reply... Half my wisdom is lessons learnt - what I should've done, not really what I did;) I somehow learned to manage, finally figured out how to handle things... but now with ILs moving in, it's a whole new ball game, and I feel unsettled. I still can manage if I didn't have to study, but I have to - it's almost like becoming a working mom, without actually going out to work/earning.

    All of your replies made me realise, maybe I am trying to be a perfect (or at least, very good) DIL/wife/homemaker (ie freshly prepared food, manage LO, keep kitchen at least tidy) AND study dedicatedly. And it doesn't work like that, does it? I want them to think I can handle it all, go superwoman!:smash2: Hmmmmm... I do think a lot of women truly do all that too - but I must be honest with myself here - I am not the slogging-for-the-sake-of-slogging(to meet others expectations) type. So yes. I must prioritise my studies and fit everything around that. Hmmmm.

    Pearls of wisdom! Thank you!

    :smash2: Bang on spot!

    ..Ctd in subsequent post
     
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  7. Bubbles

    Bubbles Silver IL'ite

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    This IS the problem.
    Just by ourselves, I finish cooking for the whole day in the morning, max by 9:30 if I get delayed. That is breakfast, and lunch with a gravy and side. We keep the same gravy/side for dinner, or if I pack off the same for husby, its just a chutney for dinner. I do have more time when we are by ourselves, but I then have to take care of LO so can't really study even if I am out of the kitchen. With ILs, I end up spending more time in the kitchen.

    Your advice is very practical, @justanothergirl, I'm gonna do as you pointed out.
    I have some difficulties though:
    MIL will, but I don't want to ask her. Not because of ego, but I am faster and cleaner handling the kitchen on my own. MIL can work as fast or faster than me, but she will anyhow need me for prepping the veggies and cleanup, and I will have hang around while she cooks, so it is more efficient this way.
    I have been trying to do this, with some resistance.
    The problem is :
    MORNING COFFEE : H wants boiling hot coffee. On occasion that I am delayed for the morning coffee, MIL will not boil milk for H. too, waiting until he actually gets up so he can have it fresh - even if it is but 15 min earlier. I have a feeling H. will not like thermos milk :smirk: though I find nothing weird about that. Workaround: I make the coffee, so its all done together.
    BREAKFAST: H. will eat only dosa for breakfast. Not even idlis, no. He says he can't gulp anything else down in a hurry. At best he may shift to bread omelette. So no help there. Breakfast can't be touched.
    LUNCH: I can make one lunch for all - even before H. leaves to work - get up earlier, and all that. Once I enrol LO in daycare, that is what I want to do. However, I know ILs will not be comfortable with lunch prepared so early in the morning, and reheating it before eating etc. MIL will offer to cook, and that is going to end up with more work for me in the kitchen, not less. I don't know how to handle this. Even rice - they want it fresh, don't like rice cooker rice. I could probably let MIL keep the rice fresh if they would be okay with morning cooked lunch... hmmm. So that basically leaves me with fresh lunch prep every afternoon.
    DINNER: H will, and MIL sometimes takes the lunch gravy for dinner too..but FIL will not eat leftover gravy. So dinner prep anyway becomes chutney+rice n veggie for LO+reheat lunch stuff for H+idlis. They do eat rotis, but as it takes way more time and effort than idlis, they adjust with idlis for dinner everyday. It would help if I could make all the idlis at one go in the idli-cooker (helps with cleanup too) but they all like only cloth idlis (if you get what I mean). So just
    SNACKS :
    This not really a cooking issue, but more of a serving one.. And while I let MIL n H serve among themselves, H. expects me to at least make MIL's tiffin. Note the "at-least". Which MIL again decides on the go, not even when I ask her earlier. What I probably can do is just make some snack for her and keep it in a hotbox. Hmmm.

    I'm sorry if I sound repetitive or resistant - I am trying to think it through with y'all. I admit I must firm up and stick to my priorities and learn to say this is all I can do, thank you for adjusting (instead of asking them to or trying to meet everybody's specifications).
     
  8. Rihana

    Rihana IL Hall of Fame

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    Bubbles, does your husband have anything to gain by your writing the exam and eventually going back to work? Will it making you a happier mother and wife mean a lot to him? Because, you really need his cooperation. He cannot have "hot" coffee and dosa for breakfast everyday while your child is so young and you are so desperate for time in the day.

    He needs to get his own breakfast and snacks and dinner. And take care of the child for 1.5-2 hours after coming home. Take care means he handles the child without his mother stepping in to help. And in the weekend he should take the child and in-laws out of the house for a while so you can study or prep for the week. In-laws have to start being okay with food from the fridge and repeat of lunch for dinner. Husband has to be ok with frozen food. Laundry also others have to start pitching in. Without the entire family cooperating, including the little one, your study and back to track professionally goals will be hard to achieve. At almost 3, little one is old enough to learn (the hard way) that if milk is not finished in a certain time, milk time is over, and she remains hungry till next snack or meal time.

    When my kid was that young, I sometimes didn't cook in a week what you cook in a day. Like MalStrom said organizing your time better is like rearranging clutter. Even if you find the time, you will be bone-tired.

    I can understand that in the household you describe, the above changes are well nigh impossible.
     
    Last edited: Jul 14, 2018
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  9. justanothergirl

    justanothergirl IL Hall of Fame

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    @Bubbles
    Key statements in blue. U need to have ur priorities very clear . U can only pull this off if studying takes precedence over everything else . Including ur spotless kitchen and the efficiency of ur process.
    Make sure
    1) people don't starve a.k.a they have some food to eat at all times.
    2) Clean ur kitchen twice a day to make sure its still hygienic.
    Parents esp those from India don't exactly know the ways around a western kitchen. Most cupboards are not to their height etc etc. U need to empower ur MIL if u need help and some sanity. Initially it will be messy but unless u let her help u u cannot get any respite . Tolerate the mess. Thank her each time she volunteers and leave the kitchen once she has started on a task. Train ur husband to eat idlis or hand him a tava. Yes it is that simple. Even after ur PIL leave this will be an ongoing issue with ur spouse and later when u start work/univ.
    Like @Rihana said he needs to be onboard.
     
  10. Bubbles

    Bubbles Silver IL'ite

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    Have been reflecting on what @Rihana and @justanothergirl said. The truth is I need to toughen up and stick to my priorities.
    Went back on forth on scheduling, plans etc. Pushed to checkout daycares etc. Thought I had it, but feeling dejected now - starting daycare has been postponed to end of month or so as per IL's advice. I did not want that for several reasons, but feel helpless.
    I must do something. And not try to do everything.
     

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