Thanks @Viswamitra sir. I identify myself with a lot of points from your second list. Hence the bottled up stress. My goal is to start identifying with most of your list #1 and that will only happen if I speak up and set clear boundaries and communicate them parties concerned.
I am also making efforts to remove some in the first list. It is a life-long exercise. I am happy that at least I have a list to work on. I have tried to set boundaries and failed multiple times. But I never give up. I wish you very best in your endeavor to strengthen your Self-confidence.
@Viswamitra sir I was floundering in dark about so many issues I was facing. I owe you a huge thanks because now I know exactly what my issue is. I googled some more and was shocked to find out I am a 100% match :'( . All because I have always been a conflict avoider. Now its come to bite me in a big way. Im going to create a separate thread on how to handle this soon.
@gamma50g great thread I have BTDT. I'm still work in progress, but I'm really in a better place wrt to my physical health and mental health. For me ,most of my peace came from facing the conflicts with clarity . I used to avoid conflicts but learnt in a hard way that is not how life works. I also feel a happier and calmer women in the family makes family environment peaceful. But it comes with lot of negotiation and sometimes raising your voice to be heard. I wish you all the best to reach the stage where you can be happy and find right balance between personal happiness and happiness of people around you. I'm rooting for you .
I have written a few threads earlier about Self-care and stress management and please feel free to take whatever you feel appropirate from what I wrote below: Self-care Stress Management Many members have given their invaluable suggestions here in this thread as well.
I had to google what is BTDT lol. Yes @mangaii I learnt after 12 years that I need to assert myself even if it leads to a huge fight because I cannot keep quiet anymore for the sake of preserving relationships. If polite requests fall on deaf ears, I cannot keep watching my every move in my own house!! @Viswamitra sir, I read both your threads. Thanks for sharing. How true are the points stated by you and @Gauri03 !! Thanks for your encouraging words!