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Where Do You Stay While Visiting India?

Discussion in 'Home Decoration & Improvement' started by anivijay, Jan 10, 2020.

  1. anivijay

    anivijay Silver IL'ite

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    Hi,
    I am not sure is this the right place for this query.

    We are living abroad. Every year we visit India for 3 weeks or 1 month. We don't have any houses in India for ourselves. Husband used to stay in his parents house and me and kids stay in my mother's house. There is only one bedroom in mother's house and its been used by sister's family who are staying there permanently. Same in mil's house as well. I would say, both my mother and in-laws didnt show any interest to accomodate us. Last visit we struggled to sleep and even to change dress. Its more like my sister's house than my maternal house/mother's house. I feel I don't have any space / right there.

    Its lot of emotional drama. Don't want to go into that.

    Mine is a 2nd tier city in Tamilnadu. Husband bought a house before marriage, which is rented out and rent collected by mother in law. It's not in great condition. Can survive next 10 years I guess. I have 5 options now.

    1.Buy a single bedroom / 2bhk flat in the locality where my mother and in-laws are staying. So we'll have proper bedrooms and beds to sleep. Not disturbing their life but still connected. May cost 40L -50L I guess. Since its a flat, maintenance is a not a problem.

    2.Just build a studio flat on top of our old house . Use it during our stay and locked it otherwise. But I need to spend atleast 10L on a house that is going to be demolished in next 10/15 years. Thats my concern.

    3.Demolish the old house and build a proper house for ourselves. Have to spend 50L. It would be only used for 1 month and locked for rest of year. Maintenance would be an issue while its not used for most of the year.

    4.Demolish old house, build 4 houses to rent out in ground and first floor and in 2nd floor build a nice pent house for us(with a provision for lift). Cost around 60 - 75L. But when we come back for retirement, I would prefer a nice individual house for ourselves. this would be a compromise. we'll have some income every month and proper house for us but ready to loose privacy. And more over, have to think about maintenance / collecting rent etc.

    5.Don't do anything. Every year , stay in hotels for 3 weeks. come back. I think it would cost 60K every year.

    which is best option out of these 5?

    I think , some of you may face similar problem like us.

    How do you manage?

    Thanks
     
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2020
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  2. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    This will be our problem in the next two years. My parents are planning to give the house to my sister, since she lives with them, my husband's house has a lot of maintenance so we can't live there and his mom lives in different house where we can't stay, because there will not be enough space for us. For now, when we visit we live with my parents, they are happy to host us, there is plenty of room too, but we do feel we are overwhelming them when it gets to 1 week or more. I do not feel a sense of belonging there anymore. So according to me the answers are not in the 5 options. This is what I am planning to do if I visit for more than 2 weeks. Plan on visiting relatives for a day or two or max 3. Then plan some trips to wherever I want to go, but will take parents or anyone who wants to join. Come back to the house for a day or two, and return back. I do not visit India every year.
     
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  3. Laks09

    Laks09 Staff Member Finest Post Winner

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    Regardless of where you build the house, there is a high likelyhood that a sibling or cousin or relative someone else will use it. There is no concept of keeping a house empty. Since it’s there, someone will want to live there.
    Why spends lakhs of rupees and then worry about upkeep for three weeks of use a year? You could look into staying in a hotel and shorten the length of your trip. The goal is to spend some time with parents, for kids to get some time with grandparents without overwhelming anyone. If you reduce the long india vacations you can make other trips or take a break in some place on your way there or take a vacation within India.
     
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  4. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    "I would say, both my mother and in-laws didnt show any interest to accommodate us." Its suffocating.

    Add another option -->
    You can divide the trip into three:- 3-4 (maximum one week) at your house, another 3/4 days at his house, rest you can use as your vacation in India. Why to stay in same location for parents. Visit other places in India or you go to another place outside India too. Another option is, to rent fully furnished flat/home if available for your stay for one month( I cant remember the name of this kind of services available, it was mentioned in an old post here). or option 5.

    Option 4 can work if you have lot money.But leaving one house free wont work easily as your parents and his parents are living in small houses. Some relative may want to use it. My cousin in India recently build a house like that:- ground floor for him and two housed upstairs for rent . I dont think you can finish it within 70L. Needs more. You need to do your home work on this.
     
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  5. Agathinai

    Agathinai Silver IL'ite

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    It’s not easy to maintain a house in India without good relatives support. It’s very difficult to look after especially with relatives who are more self centred. There will be trouble in even collecting the rent and sometimes the possibility of the relatives using it for themselves. Also when you build a house the costs are not within what you have mentioned currently. I don’t know how they had told or calculated but 50 to 60 lacs are for single house or at the most two small flats. Maybe more or less depending on the land size. I don’t think you can construct as you had told here. So don’t land in trouble without proper estimation. Even then the cost will be more as construction goes. Someone needs a good building constructor and needs relatives support to oversee things. From what you have told doesn’t seem they will be obliging.

    My view will be buy a flat as it’s easy to maintain and use it for now. But you will have to find a reliable tenant and make sure the rent comes to you rather than your relatives.

    Another option stay in hotel or rent a house for your accommodation while staying there.
     
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  6. startinganew

    startinganew Gold IL'ite

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    Here is what my cousin does who has the accommodation issue: Even though grandparents have a big house, part of it is rented out for practical purposes.

    Mom and kids arrive at maternal grandparents and then stay for 2/3 days (Visits relatives or holds a get-together at a restaurant to meet everyone together)
    Head out for a nice vacation with grandparents - so they are also relieved of cooking duties and relax and interact with grandkids. 5-10days. (she does a lot of research to find wheel-chair accessible places so dad who is not too mobile will also be able to enjoy)
    Come back and head to paternal grandparents. Husband arrives on time for this.
    Stay there for 2-3 days and then head out with those grandparents.
    Then hubby leaves, she returns to mom's home for 3-4 days. Does her shopping, grandparents get more time with kids. And then mom and kids leave.
     
  7. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

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    more and more people are doing this. I believe people are eager to rent it out to people from abroad; I believe, a month's rental is minimal.
     
  8. Rihana

    Rihana Finest Post Winner

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    OP, your kids are already 14 and 12, and your relationship with mom and siblings is not exactly smooth. Don't invest much money into any house or apartment for India trip staying purposes. As your kids get older, they might not travel each year with you.

    The option that works good for me is that we stay in a good hotel with its own restaurant. The hotel is for sleeping and on some days an early breakfast. The rest of the day is spent outside. The airbnb or homestay kind of arrangements are another option, but unless you know the owners fairly well, you'll end up doing a lot of research before the trip. Scrimp on the gifts for family and spend on a good hotel.

    Going back to the hotel in the night after a long day feels great. Your own bathroom, freshly cleaned room, reasonable internet access, enough space for suitcases, space to hang clothes in the closet, and the peace and quiet feels worth it. The hours after we land and the late night departures to airports become less stressful. I get a few hours to shower and recoup before meeting the family (started to not tell them the exact arrival time, take cab by myself to the hotel). I used to check out of the hotel at 11 am on the last day and take all the bags to parents/sibling's place. I stopped that too. It's fine to pay one day hotel cost even if leaving in the middle of the night.

    If you maintain an apartment that is empty except when you visit, it will take quite some money to maintain it twice a month, and make it inhabitable when you visit. The kitchen will need to be stocked up, and much more. You cannot be sure that the water will be running properly, all electrical outlets are working, A/C ... If any repair comes up during your visit, then you are inconvenienced. And, mostly the person maintaining it will keep major repairs for when you visit.

    Not worth it at all to maintain an apartment or house. Travel in India, spend limited number of days near family. And given your family's dynamics, don't add your siblings and mom to your within India travels.
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2020
  9. Topaz49

    Topaz49 Gold IL'ite

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    Once kids go to college and start their career/marriage, you hardly will spend enough time with them. This is a good opportunity to travel with them to different places India/outside and build that memorable trips that they will always cherish.
     
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  10. MalStrom

    MalStrom Platinum IL'ite

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    Stay in a hotel or take a service apartment/Airbnb. Your other options might make sense if you’re going to spend half of each year in India but for a one-month stay keep it simple.
     
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