Discussion in 'Married Life' started by ATI, Sep 11, 2019.
Why not the same for the husband ?
Why could he not be either right or cruel?
^ Thats what I have been saying in my first two and other posts as well. He could be. Or she could be. Or something in between, we just dont know. You were the ones who made the assumption and passed the guilty verdict already.
I have heard this before, from working and from homemakers 'I am just going to leave him and go, once kids have grown up enough'.
Men are overloading their wives with so much of their baggage that she has no option but to let his baggage go to lift her minimum baggage.
If she was selfish she would have not waited until her kids are big... she is not selfish, she is doing what she has to do as a daughter.
If I understand the argument correctly @rgz was saying we cannot make any conclusion based on the information provided in the OP. We can conclude either way since we are going to make many assumptions for the conclusion. I don't think she meant that women are selfish to do this. All she said was the possibilities for the above incident. That is what I understood.
I’m not jumping to any conclusions. I said in the event that the woman was shrewd and bid her time and got out, basically selfish to the outside world, what is wrong there? I’m not justifying the lady’s action assuming she was right and screw Mr M. Nothing in the OP tells me anything to imagine or connect the dots. I’m trying to figure out what is wrong if she didn’t want the marriage, waited for the right time and walked out after her kids were out of the house. She didn’t want the giving and taking. She didn’t want the relationship. She didn’t care for making it work for whatever reason. What’s so wrong with that?
I don’t need the full story. Lady didn’t want the relationship, she left.
If a man leaves too, it’s the same reaction. The wife can’t make him stay and it’s in her best interest to consolidate her finances and take care of herself. Getting embittered will only hurt the person who was blind sighted. The other person, probably checked out of the marriage a long time ago.
The giving and taking are for ideal marriages, where people give and take out of love. Some people stay for completely different reasons. When the said reasons are no longer valid they stop giving and leave. There are umpteen men and women who stay for the sake of the kids long after the marriage has ended in their heads. Some take action. Justified in the view of others - might not be. Justifies their need - probably.
When we are teaching kids to be a little selfish, more street smart, not share that presentation or this source, gain identities, take care of self first and then others, why this hoopla over a selfish spouse who decides to end things by making her happiness Supreme? When kids are brought up to always fend for themselves first, won’t this give and take actually take a back seat? This is probably what we can expect from the future gen no?
Thanks @mangaii you understood it right, what I was trying to convey.
@Laks09 if you dont need the full story, and if its the same reaction irrespective of the gender, then right or wrong (we can agree/disagree on that) - you are being consistent. Thanks for your consistency.
Laks is saying that if a man or woman does not want to continue a marriage, waits for the right time and walks out after the kids are out of the house, there is not much wrong with that.
Rgz is saying that such behavior and a divorce initiated and given by a man or a woman can be selfish, border-line cruel depending on the full story and knowing all sides of the story.
I agree with Laks.
I don't know why I typed the above.. ; ) Just felt like essaying a paraphrase ; )
Count well, rgz, count well.. Or like tailors and carpenters say "measure thrice, cut once." The post still has only 7 Likes. Had 4 when you counted it as 10.