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Negative Thinking

Discussion in 'Healthy Living' started by Paripoorna, Mar 16, 2019 at 9:13 AM.

  1. Paripoorna

    Paripoorna Bronze IL'ite

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    I have been struggling with the Negative Thinking. This is impacting majorly in my day to day activities.
    Whenever i sit and try to note down the positives, i cannot think of one in the entire day.
    The impact is so much that i am not able to thank for the fortunate things i have in life.
    I started with Yoga and meditation. Its been a week and had to stop it as i met with a small accident.
    As i am sitting at home, i feel so worthless, helpless and not able to control my emotions. For the first time i have become so dependent on others. My parents helped me and my inlaws are helping me.My Husband is supporting me and kid is also helping. Inspite of all these, i feel i am the only one who is suffering .

    I am not able to count my blessings.

    I need desperate help to overcome this.
     
    Afresh and GeetaKashyap like this.
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  2. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Platinum IL'ite

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    Well first take care of yourself and recover soon from that small accident. Then start your Yoga and meditation. It's okay small break is fine. You can start again. But don't stop yourself from starting again.
    Positives in a day need not be big at all. Your kid smiled at you or made that cute talk is that not a positive ?
    Your parents and in laws are helping you is that not a positive?
    You made that small meal which your family liked. That's a positive. :)
    Staying positive doesn't mean we should do big achievements . The challenge is seeing at least one positive thing among all the negatives.
    There's a 100 Days of Positivity thread. Just see of that thread helps you in anyway to overcome this negativity.
    Sometimes you feel you are the only one suffering and you are totally worthless. That's okay everyone feels that at some point of time.
    Since you'll be resting now with that accident try to read a book ,listen to music. Do that small task which you always wanted to do.
    Once you recover start your exercise routine. Slowly things will fall in place.
    Good luck.
     
    Last edited: Mar 16, 2019 at 10:07 AM
    Paripoorna, Afresh, shravs3 and 2 others like this.
  3. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    When you say negative thinking what are you thinking? Are these worries about your future or family, self loathing and insecurity about yourself? What exactly is driving the negative thinking?

    Go through this checklist: https://www.jaxhealth.com/app/files/public/10161/burns-depression.pdf

    It is a depression self assessment. It is not a diagnostic test for depression but it should help you delineate the problem areas contributing to your negative feelings. If these moods have persisted for a while and are interfering in your day to day life do consider seeing your doctor and talking to them about how you've been feeling.
     
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  4. Gauri03

    Gauri03 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    While you think through the causes of your negativity, here's a suggestion. Positive action drives positive thinking, which in turn leads to positive feelings. Nothing fuels a sense of well-being more than accomplishing something tangible. How about instead of searching for a positive moment at the end of the day you turn the exercise on its head? At the end of each day think of one positive thing you will do the next day and plan how you will execute it. It doesn't have to be grand or significant. It should entail you making a promise to yourself and keeping it. Start by setting a micro task. For example the night before decide that you will take a 10 minute walk without your phone, or read 10 pages of a book, or play a game with your child, etc. Don't wait for the positive thing to happen, make it happen. Your job is to do the positive task and record it in a journal or in the positivity thread that Anusha linked. Irrespective of how badly the rest of your day goes, at the end of each day you will have the satisfaction of knowing that you accomplished the task you set for yourself and the confidence that you kept your word. If you stick to this consistently you will notice a change in your outlook.
     
  5. Afresh

    Afresh Silver IL'ite

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    Hi @Paripoorna ,
    I think it’s very positive of you to have taken the step of seeking help here . That’s a first and essential step to remedy your situation , so you got a point to note on your journal .

    As @Gauri03 has given you an amazing reply , to start building the positive in your life , this I think is the essential thing to do.
    I do not know your inherent situation, but if such negative feelings are engulfing you in your current environment or routine , there are some new things you need to incorporate in your regular life to life your mind off from the issues bothering you currently . It could be as small as learning to cook something new ( eg gujiyas as holi is approaching ) or going out for a walk , shopping for your child / yourself , even binge watching some tv . Once you notice that your mind gives you some positive thoughts or feeling when it is diverted in these activities, you ‘ll definitely want to increase your involvement in them.
    Further , assuming that as you have written you have a supporting family , I am sure you can cull out time for spending on yourself for any of these activities.
    You can try different things , One by one to do and then figure what would give you maximum calm and joy! So the first thing you can do is list out these activities, you want to get started on from today !! All the best and do update :)

    @Gauri03 you are so receptive I feel , your advice is amazing
     
  6. Paripoorna

    Paripoorna Bronze IL'ite

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    @Anusha2917 , Thank u so much for your kind words. I have gone through the positivity thread. I really get the positive vibes after reading each post. When i try to post there i wonder what is the positive thing which i can post. I will definitely try posting there.
     
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  7. Paripoorna

    Paripoorna Bronze IL'ite

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    @Gauri03 , I am happy to get your attention.:banana:.

    When i say negative thinking the first thing is 1.fear of losing the near and dear ones.
    Its been 20 yrs that i lost my family member and i still sit and cry at times for the loss.
    2: About my child's behaviour and her future. A lot of her qualities are from me which scares me. And i worry that she may struggle with these qualities.
    3. My short temper.
    4: Whenever i take a task like job change and do not succed in 6 months i keep cribbing about it day in and day out with my husband, 2 of my colleagues and my sibling. It continues and continues . Here i feel by doing this i am straining my relationship with them.
    5: I worry for the people's comment or their ..ignorance which they purposefully do it and again crib about it.

    I think the list goes on. I want to consiously work on the first three points.

    I shall take up the self assessment.
    Though i keep getting this thoughts, i was able to manage it by sharing it with people. But since last 6 months its been going on and on and now i do not want to pass that negativity to my husband as well. He is a gem of person has lot of patience and listens to my cribs. But everyone will have their limits isnt it? I have already strained my friendship with 2 of my close friends like this.

    Thank u for providing the inputs. I shall now make positivity as a task and follow the routine.

    I have tried shopping, changing my routine to divert. Not helped much. Reading books has definitely helped me. I shall continue to do it.
     
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  8. Paripoorna

    Paripoorna Bronze IL'ite

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    @Afresh,

    Thank you for your response.
    I have tried making changes to my routine. To some extent it has helped but not completely.
    As suggested , i shall try to do a set of things see which gives me joy.
    Thank u for the reassurance. It means a lot to me at this point in time.
     
    Afresh likes this.
  9. GeetaKashyap

    GeetaKashyap IL Hall of Fame

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    @Paripoorna,

    Negative thinking makes one wallow in self-pity; negative minded people tend to be jealous, selfish, aggressive, sarcastic, intolerant to others happiness, they have high expectations and so on. These are basic qualities in most people. Real evolvement or maturity is to overcome these basic qualities and achieve better qualities where we are able to think beyond ourselves and our selfish goals. This is an ongoing struggle in most people and as long as the goal is to get better, everything will fall in its place and the improvement will be there.

    The very fact that you have identified and acknowledged your 'Negative thinking' indicates your readiness to change and that is a positive sign. Kudos to you.:thumbup:

    Are you depressed? Is this negative mindset a recent development? Have you had a setback in the recent past? Are you overworked, stressed about anything in particular or waiting for something to change or materialise drastically?

    If it is a recent development, with the tide turning you will get better. Involve yourself in activities that make you feel lighter and happier. Hobbies, vacation, shopping...any of these may help you feel better and be more positive. Have a health checkup to rule out any medical issues.

    If it is an old issue, you may have to make some lifestyle and thinking style changes. In the worst case scenario, you may have to take the help of a professional.

    Generally over expectation, too many desires, poor body image, inferiority complex, anxiety, unresolved psychological issues...anything could be stopping you from recognising and acknowledging your blessings in life.

    Some of my suggestions are:

    Read some motivational books.

    Set small goals and reward yourself when you achieve them. Let most of such goals be altruistic if possible, as it improves your self-esteem and brings in real joy very quickly.

    Try positive affirmations and chantings; they seem to help many regain their balance.

    Maintain a gratitude journal where you identify and record positive/happy things that happen every day in your life. It could be anything from waking up after a good sleep, having a stress free morning, receiving/giving a nice compliment, having a hearty laugh with your child or spouse and so on. The idea behind it is, in a few days of maintaining the journal your mind learns to identify so many good things that happen in your life every day that you had failed to notice till now. These attitudinal changes will reduce negativity and make you more positive.

    Identify what makes you really happy or sad and why? Rationalise your feelings; that may hold the key to all your issues. Some people have an entitlement mentality and they could easily turn negative when they don't get what they feel they deserve. By becoming aware, you will have better control over your thoughts and words.

    Also, check your family's thinking pattern; some families feel secure in negative thinking and they call it pragmatism! Even if one person is like that, generally, the entire family tends to get influenced by them. Actively choose to spend more time with positive people and learn to adopt their attitude.

    Hope the above helps. Good luck!
     
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  10. Amulet

    Amulet Finest Post Winner

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    That Burns Depression Checklist is good. If someone were to be writing lyrics for BLUES, they could use those descriptors.
     
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