Life After Seperation

thanks for your input.

 

thanks for your input. It makes sense. It helps me look into a different point of view. I am not selfish about my money, i will use for my children. It is not that i have abandoned my wife fully, i am pushing to follow some self help practices. She has a narcissistic nature that focus only on her emotions and frankly speaking i am tired of giving my all to her now. I am more than happy to have full custody of my kids, i can handle them but i know law favors women.

 

your right . my kids are 10 , 4.5. my question was more related to life after divorce and it got deviated. After my son, life went downhill as you saw my post. then in 2014. she was having an affair, which she told after she got dumped. she was not apologetic and did not correct her actions. she became depressed after that. instead of taking the proper professional help. then she started a series online based sex chats to validate her actions, i lost trust in her. now she has become lost and totally emotionally cut from me . i lost control and was very angry and fighting, all these years i was holding up for kids. but now it is affecting my mental state and health. so i am thinking on separation. i am tired of putting financial, physically and emotionally investing into her.

i have my bad qualities. i am not so career focused, but i am not in a bad job. i have a stable job that can feed a family of 4 in a conservative manner. she had a thing for people in high positions and well paying.

it is not that her state was bad with me only, she has the same selfish behavior with her mom who when was with us, used to do all the work in USA from cooking to cleaning.

 

thanks my kids are 10 , 4.5. my life has not improved any where in dealing with such a selfish person. the point got totally deviated where i just remembered the past and current situation while replying to you. i have not given up on this marriage. my wife has become depressed due to her affairs, she is having an emotional affair on another man. it really sucks to tell all this, but by god grace that man is a decent persona and we both are helping her to become self sufficient. however that said, i too have reached my limit of tolerance.

in my old posts i might have complained and whined around for separation. for the first time i am actually researching more and talking to legal too..

 

India has changed, i am not sure where you are living. India has become more worse than USA. People work longer, they have affairs at work. they seduce their co workers. USA has laws. My experience in India was a nightmare.

You are right , counsellors in india are very good. We went to a counsellor she within 2 meetings told my wife that she is wrong and is NARCISSIST. She needs to change, my wife got pissed off and then stopped going.

We went to India in 2014 end where i came to know about her affair. She then had serious depression, instead of taking help . She went on a rampage of series of sex chats with random people and talking to them for hours. It tore me apart. I started getting nightmares and heart was hurting - not emotional really physically. I became very angry but then she did not change and was threatening me to call police. it is so funny when you are educated you are scared, i was scared to get in trouble with police because she is manipulator and i will be in serious trouble.

I have returned to USA. I was alone here for 4 months first time after 10 years. I realized it was peacefull where i went to lot of meetups meditation and fitness. This made think to move for separation seriously.

 

On a side note, I really feel bad for some of ladies commenting in this forum about their lives. Because if what they say is true, i can relate my life to it. You are such a beautiful human who takes care of a stranger and gets treated like ****.

Just what i learnt, not all crying women are goddess and neither all Angry men are pyschos.