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How To Deal Money Matter With In-laws

Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by lakshya2018, Oct 11, 2018.

  1. Deborah

    Deborah Gold IL'ite

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    Tell her you want to make a FD with that money and you can always break the FD whenever they like a plot or house (i guess ,you can break it after 6 months with no penalty).You will earn some interest (it was 9% when I was working in India,don't know the current rate).
    If they refuse or given some archaic excuse,it is a red flag .
     
  2. Vedhavalli

    Vedhavalli Gold IL'ite

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    Greedy Mil

    Read this and don't give more than needed or necessary.
    1) open PPF
    2) get medical insurance
    3) open SIP
    4) open a gold saving - right time Diwali near ing
    5) give money for food and shelter. I would suggest get a rental bill from FIL in your name as proof for Income tax filing.
    6) buy groceries, veg, fruits snacks. Nothing more than that.
    Period.
     
    lakshya2018 likes this.
  3. lakshya2018

    lakshya2018 Senior IL'ite

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    Thank you so much for your reply.

    Before talking about this to my PIL. I asked my husband... to know what's his mind set.
    I asked him Can invest my salary other than keeping it in our home... what they are decided to do with my money... if I ask them they may take it wrongly.. so please ask them. i dont want my money just wish to invest it so that we can be benefited. He said I cant ask my parents they may take it wrong. I never asked like this before... they only manage my income. I dont want to involve in that. Again I said could be better if we buy gold or something .. he s not ready to ask them. When it reach some big amount will buy 4 or 5 sovereign of gold jewel. I dont feel his words are so true. Feel like he said just to end this topic.

    I'm not going to leave. I going to ask now or then. And so far I'm so true to my husband.. tell everything to him. decided not tell him about my bonus or increment hereafter.
     
  4. lakshya2018

    lakshya2018 Senior IL'ite

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    Actually I made a mistake in beginning. Myself said my original salary when they asked me.:BangHead:

    Thought they will invest that money or buy me jewel. That what they said in the beginning. :facepalm:
     
  5. lakshya2018

    lakshya2018 Senior IL'ite

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    My husband never accept it. As I said before its their custom. He s not ready to hurt their parents in any mean.
    Its hard to convince him when it comes to their parents. I afraid what wil create a rift between us.

    Actually mine s love marriage. Already i said my h that i want to manage my salary. that time he said ok, dont worry my parent wont ask ur salary. You can do whatever u want or keep it urself.

    once i got married, my h asked me to tell his father that my salary credited... when i said that to my FIL.. he asked me to bring it:eek:... I'm afraid to tell my opinion at that time because im new there. regretting now.

    But my h also ask me to help my parents even i dont think about that. I appreciate ... it tell that for real. So I'm trying that wont affect him.
     
  6. lakshya2018

    lakshya2018 Senior IL'ite

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    I dont think they will give to SIL. Because both her and her husband are govt employees ... have 2 own houses. Well settled family. they dont need their help. Still I fear what if they buy gold from my money to show off. I'm really confused.
     
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  7. lakshya2018

    lakshya2018 Senior IL'ite

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    I'm already doing this.:expressionless::expressionless: I do all work on weekends expect their laundry and breakfast.

    When my h is not ok with it... then how can I do without his support.
     
  8. lakshya2018

    lakshya2018 Senior IL'ite

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    Apart from my salary, I buy snacks for them .Usually from remaining amount I used to buy monthly needs (soaps & other cosmetics) needed for me. because they dont know what i use or they are not happy because they may think I'm wasting money in costly soap or shampoo. So by myself.

    They buy soap , shampoo,etc for themselves ... Now they stopped buying that and using mine. No prob in using when we are one family ... But apart from salary im giving them i have to spend separately for this.
     
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  9. lakshya2018

    lakshya2018 Senior IL'ite

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    I brief my story here .

    As I said before mine is LM happened without my parents because they are not happy about my decision. I waited for 4 years so married without their will. I have bought jewels for myself nearly 15 soverign and kept it in my mom home itself. We are in talking terms now. But yet my parents hesitate to give my jewels to secure it. They want to see atleast one year after that they may give.. just to assure im in safe hands.

    Why doubts about my PILs arised because Im giving my part of salary to them. they know i dont have any jewel to wear. already 2 3 functions happened in their relatives side. I wore the jewel they have in home. If they dont spend my salary, they have approx 90 k with them ... My PILs bought gold jewel for their grandchild & for themselves... why dont they thought to buy me something because i dont have anything...Then and now say have to buy me gold ring but never bought. One time we all went to buy jewel for GC, that time asked do you want to buy anything before i say anything said we dont bring money for that. tell me if you want we will buy next time... if they really want to buy for me then would have bring my salary right?? why they keeping it themselves ??? or they bought in my money???

    Is really something wrong or I'm imagining myself???

    Apart from this prob, they are good to me. no other issues with them.
     
  10. kavikuyil

    kavikuyil New IL'ite

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    Ok, Tell (don't suggest, don't request but tell) your husband they can manage his money if he wishes but you are going to manage yours from now on.

    Next don't wait for your PILs to invest the money in your name or buy jewels, tell them that you are buying a necklace or bangles (or whatever... be specific on what jewelry and tell u need one) with the money you gave them and you need the money and go buy it!!! If they want to accompany you to jewelry store, sure, why not.. but make your own choice. Get a locker in YOUR name and put your jewels in there (not the jewels in your parents house, but the ones you will be buying with your money earned after you got married). Do not bring up any talk about the jewels in parents house to PILs or your husband.

    PILS seem to be nice to you because they want to keep the ATM happy ... but if they are truly nice, they'd have invested the money as jewels for you as they mentioned.

    Next month onwards, do not give the money. They will ask you - you can tell them - <insert husband name> will give his for family share and you will manage yours. with a smile.. and go about doing your business. How many ever times they ask or show passive aggressive behavior or aggressive behavior or when your husband ask you to give - just refuse with a smile - No, I will manage it for myself.

    You should not depend on other ppl to be nice to you, so they can decide where or for whom they will invest your hard earned money. You are an independent woman who can take care of yourself and your family (if and when there is a real need). Just go ahead and be that woman!
     

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