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Youuuu Asian Parents...

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Sriniketan, Nov 13, 2007.

  1. Tulasi

    Tulasi Silver IL'ite

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    Hi Sri,
    Nice post! enjoyed reading all the responses too. though I have not experinced a lot but small incident I want to share, This year Hallowen day my first grader kid's class had a small hallowen party with all the parents and kids..

    As I went to his class room after saying hello to his teacher I went to his table, causally said, hey man how are you? in my mother tongue which is telugu..He didn't respond to me, so I asked him what happend to you man? so slowly he is saying talk in english,talk in english,why means his freinds will think bad about him itseems..(can u guess he is only six)..then I have to tell him its alright we can talk in telugu,then he was ok..I think..next time I have to see when I visit his school again..
    Tulasi
     
  2. Arunarc

    Arunarc Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hello Sriniketan
    Wonderful topic. I have got to hear this many a time, how my kid blackmails me don't ask it is not the question of being strict here we are over protective, as you get to hear so many things happening during the sleepovers. Especially among the teens. I too have a teen but would send only if I know if the parents are there with them keeping an eye on them only then would allow him to go. This is not only with the Asian parents it is with others too. Even if there is a B'day party the parents see to it, atleast one of the parent is accompanying the kids.
    I would like to share one experience that took place with one of the girl who was my son's age around 16yrs. Some girls had a sleep over in one of the girl's place and the parents left the girls alone and went off partying somewhere else. As teens they love to try out something new so these girls wanted to try out with the drugs and there where 3 of them in that one of the girl I think was over dosed and she died when her parents came home early morning from party and saw that they girl was dead. This was a real tragic, and the other 2 girls were dismissed from the school. many such incidents happen, which some of them I have seen them. So very frightened of these sleepovers. Let them throw any tantrums, it is our duty to protect them I think, until they understand.
     
  3. Tamildownunder

    Tamildownunder Bronze IL'ite

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    Dear Shantiniketan,

    I think we the asian parents are over-protective especially when it comes to studies. This is because of the tough competition that our children are facing. I have seen after the results of +2 were announced my daughter's friend was crying inspite of scoring 96% marks since there were many students with 100% marks and her rank in the merit list will go way down. I had seen a marathi drama in Mumbai where they show how the pressures brought on a child before exam has negative effect with the child going mad and refusing to even sit for the exam.

    If we take the parents of western countries they are afraid to tell anything sternly to their children because Governments are over-protective. I have seen children threatening their parents that if they scold they will complain to the local council who then will take away the children from their parents and put them separately. It is pathetic to see such children later longing for parental love and affection.

    Regards,

    TDU
     
  4. So Sure

    So Sure Senior IL'ite

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    hi ILites,
    My My 2cents
    Kids will be kids. They will want to take the easy/fun way out of any issue. They want to be accepted by other kids. After all, they want to play! :exactly:

    I too went thru' most of these issues. Don’t talk in Telugu/Tamil in front of my son's friends! I did not argue with him in front of his friends. After we came home, I asked him why I should not talk in our language. He gave me the same reason... his friends will think we are talking bad about them/think bad about him. Why would we talk bad about his friends? Are they bad? No. Spanish, Chinese, French speak their language. Why not us? Also, if he wants to tell me something and he switches to our language, everyone will know he is saying something... which he doesn't want them to know...! Is that good? Isn’t it better they get used to us talking our language from the beginning? When his friends came home, I told them I don't know English, so I will talk my language. If they want, I can teach them Indian languages and they should teach me English. Made them say a few Telugu words, my name (they can never say it!) etc. I made fun of my English and their Telugu. I made a comedy of all languages.

    Bottom line, I’ll speak any language I want! All the kids are comfortable with it, especially, my son.

    Our kids are very flexible and accommodative. We just need to be patient and tactful. As long as we understand they are going thru’ more stress than us at their young age, everything will be fine. :thumbsup I'm So Sure...!

    Regards,
    Sharada

    P.S. Btw my mom is a Retd. English Professor. :)
     
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2007
  5. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Tulasi,
    Thanks for your response.
    I think he is feeling that he might be left out of the crowd, when we talk in our language, maybe shy too.
    even my cousing told me that she had experienced the same when her daughter was in pre-school!
    sriniketan
     
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2007
  6. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Auna,
    sad to know the tragic end of the school girl.
    It is our duty to take care of them until they understand, how true it is!
    This is what they argue and say that they know 'everything'.

    sriniketan
     
  7. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    TDU Sir,
    Thanks for your FB.
    It is true that the pressure on studies also have negative effects on the children.
    But here is US i think these children are 'tension-free' in that aspect.
    I think that they don't know how much tension their counter-parts are facing in India!
    regarding studies, according to my thinking, they don't understand its full value!

    sriniketan
     
  8. Sriniketan

    Sriniketan IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Sharada,
    Thanks for your FB.
    Happy to learn that you made good out of the situation and learning more, regarding the language!:idea

    I fully accept 100% with you over the last 2 lines of your response to this thread.

    sriniketan
     
  9. Vysan

    Vysan Gold IL'ite

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    Dear Srinik,

    No issues.... I dont get discouraged...

    We both have a different style of approach to our kids.... teaching them... She will come hard on them when they do mistakes and leave it there... so that it will sink in... I on the contrary will take time to explain them why we tell with the Pros & Cons... She is more patient and I am not... But we both explain to the kids our traditional values and respects...

    All credits to Shan....
     
  10. So Sure

    So Sure Senior IL'ite

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    Hi Srninketan,

    Thank you. Appreciate your FB. We are a class of our own!

    Regards,
    Sharada
     

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