Your Ability to Communicate ,My dear,decides your Success at Home and at Office

Vyjayanthi was sitting quietly in her place during lunch break.Normally she is one person who carries cheer and laughter with her wherever she goes.Lunch breaks used to be a lively time what with Vyjayanthi cracking jokes and generally entertaining us.So I was surprised to see her sitting quietly by herself.I went to her and asked,”What is the matter?Are you not well,why don’t you go home taking permission,if you are unwell?”
She said,”No,yaar.Iam fine,something is troubling me ,I don’t know how to solve this issue,that is why….”
Vyjayanthi did not even finish the sentence before a couple of friends joined us surrounding Vyjayanthi’s chair.Chakrapani was one of them.Mr.Chakrapani is the head of our department.But he is one person who never showed off his position and treated his subordinates in a friendly manner.He asked her,”What is the matter?Tell us,let us share your problem and see if we can help you”
Vyjayanthi said,”Sir,all of you know that Iam very fond of my MIL.She is also always very nice to me,she treats me like her daughter only.Ihave absolutely no issues with her.But of late ,something is happening at home.I don’t like it.I just don’t know..”her voice broke.After a few minutes silence,she continued,”My son is growing up.He is eight years old now.I have to be strict with him when the situation demands it,you know?When he does something wrong,I immediately correct him.But my MIL does not allow me to correct my son.
My Mil is no doubt very attached to her grandson.So whenver I scold my son for being rude to elders or misplacing things or keeping his room dirty,my MIL interrupts and tells him in my presence,”Your mother is always like this only.You don’t worry,Iam there for you or some such thing.And she also tells me,”Why are you unnecessarily scolding him,children will be children only,even his father was mischievous,I never scolded him the way you scold your son”
“My son, all the while laughs at me and he does not take me seriously at all.Now it may be ok,but what will happen when he grows up,I don’t want him to grow up as an irresponsible fellow you know”Vyjayanthi’s voice spoke volumes about her worries.
Mr.Chakrapani said,”After all for this small problem why should you break your head?”
Vyjayanthi glared at him.He did not seem to notice that.He continued,”Have you seen the film,Chottisi bath?”
“Sir,please be serious,Iam talking about disciplining my son and you are talking about Chottisi bath”Vyjayanthi was visibly upset.
“There is connection,my dear between the two”said Chakrapani and continued,”In chottisi bath,the hero is in love with the heroine.But he is tongue tied.He does not have the guts to tell her that he loves her.It takes tutoring sessions from Ashok kumar to put some spirit in Amol palekar, to tell the heroine that he loves her and he is accepted by the heroine,no?”
“Yes”nodded all of us.
“Do not keep your worries about your son growing up as an indisciplined boy in your heart only.Your MIL is an old lady.All that she knows is to love her grandson,that’s all.So take your MIL aside,talk to her nicely and tell her what all you told us now.That is if you do not discipline him now,later on it will be difficult and that when you are scolding him she should not interfere because,her grandson will use this as an excuse and will continue to do and behave as he pleases.Go and talk to her and then see the effect”so saying,Chakrapani went to his cabin.
Two days would have passed.Vyjayanthi came to the office carrying a big box of sweets and a broad smile on her face.She went to Chakrapani’s room.”Sir,I spoke to my MIL and told her exactly what you asked me to tell her.She understood Sir,and she told me ,”How I wish you had told me this before,from now onwards I will not say anything when you discipline him”
“Things are ok at home Sir,I owe it to you”said Vyju and offered all of us sweets.Chakrapani said,”You owe it to the skill called Communication ,my dear.If you know how to communicate with people around you,whether in office or at home you will be a great success”said Chakrapani.
Effective communication is all about conveying your messages to other people clearly and unambiguously. That is,your intention is to convey a message to a person and his interpretation of your message,do they match?If your intention and his interpretation of the message match,you are a successful communicator.History gives examples of great leaders who attained success and became great mainly due to their communication skill.To name a few,
During the second world war,Winston Churchill said,”Blood,Sweat and Toil”.These words spoken by the great leader galvanized the entire England.
Mr.Kennedy,The (late) President of United States of America said,”Ask not what the country has done for you,but what you have done for the country”These words have been appreciated by the entire world.There would not be a single debator who has not used this quotation .
Mr.N.T.RamaRao(late) coined the phrase “Telugu Atmagauravam”which means ”the self respect of the Telugu people’ and people identified themselves with this.He won the elections ,his victory,his party’s victory was a great victory.
Indhira Gandhi said,”GaribiHatao”people chanted it all along,congress won the elections using this slogan and won majority in Elections.
If we come to our mundane world,my dear friends, this communication skill plays a major role in maintaining the calm and peace at home.
Raghu who is an otherwise cheerful person suddenly became a little moody and began to lose his temper for small mishaps at home.The reason was the rising costs of even essential things and he worried about saving for his family and their future.If somebody forgot to switch off the fan in a room when he/she left the room,he began to fume.His BP went up.He had a chat with his close friend.That week end Raghu called all his family members to the hall,discussed with them about the rising costs and his subsequent worries and asked them for suggestions in controlling the expenses.You would be surprised to know that the entire family participated in the discussion enthusiastically,his children offered valiant suggestions for keeping expenses under control,they offered to forego their weekly outings,they offered to make small sacrifices which spoke volumes about the success of this discussion.Slowly and steadily the unnecessary expenses at home came down ,my dear, and Raghu became his cheerful self once again.
Jacob was a very good husband,a wonderful father and took good catre of his family.Once a week he took his family out for lunch or dinner.Once a month they went to a holiday resort nearby for a week end and relax.He bought expensive sarees and jewellery for his wife on her birthday.But Jacob’s wife Sheela could always be seen with a sad face.Why?She told he best friend,”Lalli,my husband cares for us.He gives us the best.But there is onething he does not understand”Her friend was perplexed.”What is it”she asked.
“Jacob never asks me before planning the outing where would I like to go for dinner,he never tells me beforehand whether we are going to Lonavla or Matheran for week end.When he buys such expensive sarees for me,he may as well take me with him atleast once in a while,to select the saree I want to wear,you know?”Sheela had tears in her eyes.Jacob my dear,inspite of his best intentions to do everything he can to keep his family happy, had failed miserably because,he had not understood the basic principles of communication skill,you see.If only he had planned this outings with the concurrence of his family they would have hero worshipped him,if only he had taken his wife shopping to buy birthday gift for her,him and the kids, she would be a different vibrant person today.But it is not late ,my dear,Sheela is going to discuss this issue with him and Iam sure things are going to be different in the Jacob household from now on.

Padma and Srinu were, a made for each other ,couple.The neighbours,my dear, almost bore a hole in their wall to find out if there were secret fights between them, which they did not hear.No my dear,they were a happy couple.One day,Padma went to Nalini’s house in the afternoon,just a friendly visit.Nalini was Srinu’s younger sister and Nalini and Padma got along very well.Nalini and Padma chatted for sometime,Nalini made snacks.Then Nalini brought out a new jewellery box and opened it for Padma to see.There lying in the velvet box was a pair of beautiful studs to wear in the ears.Nalini said,”Manni,this is what Srinu anna gave to me last week I passed the B.ED exams ,no,for that anna gave it to me.I know tha,tyou only would have selected it,even then I wanted to thank you,manni”Nalini went on chattering.Nothing entered Padama’s brain.She was fuming.
That night she took it up with Srinu.”Why did you not tell me that you gave your sister a gift?I was not going to sulk,I was not going to stand in the way.You know very well that I would have happily come with you to the shop, to select the piece for her,why did you not tell me?”Padma cried.Thank God,my dear, that she spoke her mind out and Srinu explained to her that in his busy official schedule he forgot to tell her.Well, they made it up.But this lack of communuication on Srinu’d part did definitely affect their otherwise smooth sailing of the family boat.
Sridevi and Balu had three kids.Both husband and wife doted on their kids.Sridevi always wanted to be one up on her husband ie this foolish woman wanted her kids to love her more than they loved their father.When the kids approached Balu for money to spend and if he said, ‘no’ ,then she gave them money on the sly,not realizing what bad effect it would have on their relationship with their father.She would realize this in duecourse,but I hope and pray not at great cost.Because such behavoiur on the part of the wife not communicating with her husband relating to their children’s needs may affect their old age.
When I talk at great length about others,my dear it is only right that I tell you about how I and my husband caused mental agony to my MIL an 88 years old lady,because this blessed communication failed us my dear.
Our family consists of my husband,myself and my MIL.One evening we both had to attend a marriage reception and we went ,locking the grill door and leaving the main door for my MIL to keep it open or close it as she wished.We told her that we would be back by 9 o’clock.But due to heavy traffic we reached the reception hall at around 8.45.Even though we did not linger long after dinner ,again due to traffic jam,by the time we reached home it was nearly 11 o’clock.My MIL was livid with fury,”Well I understand that traffic was bad.But, you people have a mobile with you,you could have given me a call and told me that you would be late.Do you know that all the time, I was worried whether everything was ok with you people and you were safe?”There she was tears in her eyes and we both put down our heads in shame.All it required was a phone call and we failed in communicating to her, that we would be late.
Mr.Ramulu has five sons .All of them are in very good positions and are doing very well in their official as well as persona life.Listen to Sankar Ramulu’s eldest son who is the CEO of a multinational’”All the five of us studied in the same school only.While my brothers did very well in studies I used to get medicre marks.But my father never chided me evenm once.Once I went to him with my progress report from my school,I had secured just 60%.My father said,”My son I used to struggle to get even this 60%when I was young and in those days 60%was supposed to be very good marks and competition was less so I could get admission ia a good college.But these days competition being so severe,my son, 60%is not enough marks to get admission in a good college,you know”.He did not say anything else.But those words spurred me,I worked very hard after that. I owe my success to my father”.
Sekar and sundar joined the same company on the same date and in the same capacity as Rgional Sales Managers.Sekar was a doctorate and a gold medalist in his chosen field of education where as Sundar was a graduate and not possess a great academic record to speak about.Fifteen years passed by.Sekar who joined the company with great ambitions was asked to resign and go home.Sundar had by that time reached the pinnacle of his success in his official capacity.He had become Vice Prsident in his department
Why was askedSekar to go and how did Sundar reach his position?Sekar, my dear, always walkesd with a chip on his shoulders.He treated his subordinates as subordinates,he did not seem to believe in the term team work.He expected those who reported to him, to treat him with royal respect.In essence, he failed to carry his team with him.His subordinates mocked him in his absence.In official highlevel meetings he was always silent,would not participate in the discussions with the result that he earned the name”champion listener”.
Sundar treated his subordinates as his equals.He referred to those who reported to him as his team mates.He took interest in the progress of his teammates and never missed an opportunity to recommend a deserving teammate for promotion.His teammates were willing to work very hard to earn a word of praise from him.In official meetings his opinion and his inputs were sought.Hence his promotions and his success.
Such is the role played by effective communication my dear.
We have been very serious in discussing this important aspect of life.Let me end my thoughts on this subject’Communication’, on a lighter note.
Pandurangan was an office assistant.He was a very hard working person and the job he did were many,that were vital to the smooth running of the office.He was neither considered for promotion nor was his salary increased.However much his boss tried for an increase in his salary,he could not convince the headoffice about this issue,Once a top level executive , who decided the salary and promotions of the staff visited this office.Pandurangan’s boss, who cared for him and felt genuinely that Pandu should get his increment, tutored him to say the following things to the visiting chief.
“Pandu,tell the boss that your salary has to be increased because you do the work of many people.You go to the bank,bundle and distribute pamphlets,attend telephone calls and in general you do lot of hard work.You have to impress him,you know?”
Pandu nodded his head vigorously.The boss came, spent some hours discussing official matters.When it was time for him to leave,Pandu’s boss pushed him almost in front of the boss.
“What”asked the boss.
The nervous Pandu answered,”Sir,Please increase my salary.”
“Why,why should we increase your salary”
Pandu forgot the tutoring his boss had given him and said,”Sir,I have ten children.”
The boss said,”I am not responsible for that”and walked away.

​

 

My dear dear chitra,
Thanks for stepping in and your nice comment.Yes,MILs are MILs my dear ,they would not lke to be corrected at all.That is why we can create wonderful and understandinmg MILs in our world of writing.
Communication holds the key to person's success pn personal and professional life.
Love
mithila kannan

 

My daer anandchitra,
Thank you my dear,for your words of kindness and appreciation.How I need them!How I look forward to them,God only knows.
Thanks.
lve
mithila kannan

 

My dear cheerful,
Your FB was so refreshing and instilled lot of spirit in me.Thank you for motivating me to write more.love
mithila kannan

 

Dear Roopa,
Thank you for visiting the blog and your nice comment.The ability to communicate well has becme an essential part of our life whether in office or at home.Iam happy that you liked the post.
love
mithila kannan