Yelling at my daughter :-(

tuffyshri · Sep 13, 2013

prana said: ↑

Tuffy, girl ,please accept my hugs...
Went through few posts..hope you get some ideas now..just my 2 cents..

1.First, it is not only you, in the boat...there are many many..it may be common if there are 2 or more kids..after all, we are human beings, and we do have our own up and downs..so dont be so hard on your self..keep in mind that its just a phase,yes a phase..this too shall pass soon..
2.Dont expect her to be perfect..this is the time for her to enjoy..let her be like this..if she spills anything on the floor, before start scolding, just have a pause..anyway you have to clean the place, then what would happen if you scold her..dont you need to clean the place if you scold her??Instead of shouting at her, tell her patiently how much work it caused beacuse of her carelessness..she would understand it..ANd slowly it will work..
3.Stress is the major reason for migrane...so relax your self, listen to music with less volume, read book, I know u are a good writer..so bring back that stroy teller in you...This is our life, its is our choice how we take it..so just move on..you are blessed with two angels..they would definitely bring the happiness in you..what you have to do is, just give a pause think twice , then act(I know it is easy to say, but remember facing it with 2 kids all alone, with so many challenges in hand, this is what I am following right now..so just wanted to share it with you dear...)

Everything will be alright..so dont worry...
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Thanks prana. thanks for appreciating my writing skill

tuffyshri · Sep 13, 2013

sanravi_1970 said: ↑

Dear tuffy

I may not be right but I feel like sharing some of my views. We all know if we r not well, we tend to get angry and if something else is annoying us on top of it, we yell out may be that could be the reason OR
Another thing is we always want our kid to be the most perfect kid and if the kid don't meet our satisfaction, and if this is the case for long time, the repetition puts you in anger.
OR in some cases, if we feel we ourselves lacking or stagnating in( I mean in my case, I would say not getting job inspite of looking for long time, my health, my other plans not working at all ) then that may put you in pressure that explode on others
Kids try to imitate us, that's why ur daughter also started shouting. It happens to me too! So controlling our anger and not expressing it out helps. But it will take time and it's very hard too
So I would say, whatever happens, think its meant to happen, so it happened( like Gita says ) Dont think about past, that depress you more! Be cool and don't ever take anything into heart. Don't bother about anything and yes meditation helps.
I am not able to put in words much perfectly, so if anything hurts you, excuse me

Be happy and I know no mom intentionally shout or scream at our loved ones, moms r the one who love their kid the most than anybody. Kids don't understand that moms shout or yell for their good sake. So we have to handle them softly and politely only! I am sure you can get thro this situation.

Be cheerful and be happy with your wonderful babies

Take care
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agree with you. But controlling that temptation and anger is what is challenging. Good luck for you too and thanks for the points

vidukarth · Sep 13, 2013

Tuffy,

Don't worry too much about the past and damage control. After all she is your child, she will be okay.. now everytime before you get angry or lose your control, think something that will make you feel good and about all the IL's suggestions here. Say to yourself immediately that why should i get upset, this is nothing and keep cool.
After all, we would have done the same thing to our parents as well, and in those days with not much facilities, how they have raised us, think about that and you will feel better immediately.

Kamla · Sep 25, 2013

Dear Attitudegirl,

Congratulations on being nominated to FP for your replies in this thread.

A young mother with two little kids is a special breed!! Not only is the responsibility of raising two children on her, she is responsible for their every single need..emotional and physical. At the same time, she is also responsible for her own emotions and physical needs and that of her husbands!! Now add the household and cleaning and cooking and the relatives etc etc etc.....Hey, I am surprised that we all come out smiling and healthy in spite of it!

Children are little flowers and need a very special care. Most mothers don't even realize that their kids are their center of universe. They nurture them with affection and LOVE. Every little shortcoming will be manifold magnified. And that's what is happening here with Tuffysri! So your words are the right medicine to treat her angst. You will be the doctor any mom in stress will require to win back the sanity!

Great words of advice and congrats on being nominated to FP by Racr!

L, Kamla

Kamla · Sep 25, 2013

Dear Tuffyshri,

I hope the number of advices you have received here has brought some comfort and consolation to you!

You are a loving mother or else you would not have written this post. In spite of your short temper, you are brimming with love for your children...Both of them!

Take it easy and try to get hold of that temper and bring in some fun and please don't blame yourself for being overly sensitive. Your little girl needs you and show her how much you love her!

You have received excellent advice here and I will not add to it. All the best!

L, Kamla