Working parent of a 5 yr old confused...

vv123 · Jan 2, 2011

Hi friends,

I am working parent of a 41.2 yrs old. She will turn 5 this month. I have started working for the last 1 1/2 months. I was working in IT before she was born. After that its been a 41/2 yrs break. I have'nt worked after she was born. I usually spend a lot of time with her.. reading / playing... She is also by nature a very demanding kid. I had called my inlaws for help for a month and then after them I have my parents with me for 15 days till I settle down (since I need to spend a lot of time updating myself in the IT field). I have told my employer that I will early in the morning at 7.00 and leave office by 4.00, so that I can pick her from day home at 4.30(planning to put my daugther in day home from next week). She is Jr.kg and her timings are 8.30a.m. - 12.30 p.m. She is by nature a very energetic kid. But now of-late after I have started going to office... she troubles everybody at home and gives them a very tough time. Her nature has changed a lot.. she's become very rude. Though I had lot of dealing issues with her before.. it's become worse. I am feeling very guilty. I do not if I am doing the right thing. Also my in-laws or parents are not planning to stay with me permanently. So even if I have to put her in a class(badminton / Karate) in the evenings it's difficult now. I am not able to give justice to both (work and kid). Plus I have to work after I come back home in the evenings. My husband is saying she will eventually learn.. but there are things that mothers can understand but husbands can't. What do I do.. confused ?????

If i teach her... she has amazing grasp of things. But the saddest thing is when I was at home.. I had started feeling frustrated that I am not doing anything constructive.

what I want to know is.. if at all I need to change my line....

Pls help..

orion80 · Jan 3, 2011

vv123,

Some queries for you.. was she a little rude even before you started going for work or is this a new trait you are observing in her? You mentioned that she gives tough time to your praents at home. Can you give examples of how she is giving tough time?

If this is a new trait you are observing in her since you started going for work? Generally, howz her behavior with others?

-Lakshmi

minti · Jan 8, 2011

Hi Fren..

Your child is showing her tantrums no doubt but you need to be very patient with her. Basically she wants attention, so give her lots of love. She is kind of feeling insecure.

Now lets come to your real issues..

Remember no pain, no gain..

Luckily you have the option of going early and coming soon..

plan your day in such a manner that you are stress free..

Employ a maid who can help you with all your household chores, like cleaning, washing, cooking, cutting vegetables etc..

Try and streamline your house work in such a way that, whatever time you spend with your kid, house work should not be on your mind..

Keep the grocery and vegetable shopping for weekends..

When ever you are alone with her talk to her..tell her how much you love her. Make her feel that, you are working because you like to work. Try and role play with her..let her act like you and you like her..you will be surprised with the feedback. These kids mimic us so well..during role play you will know where you go wrong with your kid..since she will be playing the mom ask her to give her suggestions and opinions. Also play friend friend with her, share your problems with her and ask her how to solve, u will be amazed that she herself will give you the answers to your problems..

I too have a kid and have tried the above methods..its worked for me, hope it helps..

Also make her feel loved by everyday saying her I love you..the more you say good for her..hug her whenever possible..even when she is angry just hold her..in a few days itself you will find the changes in her..

hope this helps.