Dear Friends I am back here with another serious matter, that I need all of your opinions and suggestions to decide. As always, I count on your experience and expert advice related to relationship matters. Though this matter is mostly related to my career, I want opinions from family background since I consider myself as a mother first, and a family woman/wife/daughter before my profession. Here goes the problem:- I was a rising star in my career before marriage. Dedicated all my life to the work which was my passion too. Reached to the top level positions, and worked internationally at the very young age. Then happened my marriage, and a lot of problems associated with our inter-religious love marriage. My H was a different person before marriage, may be I was too naive to know his true nature back then. He changed, and showed a completely different character after marriage. For the first few years, I suffered a lot and even decided to end my life as it seemed hopeless. But my mom stood by me. I depended on my career once again, and it worked on my favor. Nevertheless, this second innings in my career isn't that successful as it was before. In fact, I had all the potentials, and support to climb this career ladder. Many times, I've been even considered for promotions. But due to family pressure, kids and other matters I could not accept any of such career advancements after marriage. I had to take a couple of breaks, and had to accept flexi hours compromising the salary and positions when kids were too young. Though my career was my passion and my identity, I would be happy to let that go for the family. Because I've always considered my family as my first priority. It is and will be the most happiest and safest place for me in the world. But my H failed miserably in his career front. He has still been learning and trying to secure a decent post; thus the entire household responsibility has fell on me. I had no choice, but to accept this role reversal. More to it, we had decided to start our marriage life pretty much from the scratch as we didn't want to accept any inheritance from both sets of parents who hated our union. Nevertheless, since we are very much closely connected with both sets of families, and our siblings and cousins are leading a well secured luxurious life (mostly from parent's wealth), we have this social peer pressure to do well in life. I had to take up this pressure and to provide for the family in order to push it up in the social status quo.. Since mine was/is an excellent career, taking up such a huge responsibility didn't seem too much for me back then. But later in life, I've learnt it is impossible to be a perfect career woman and home-maker at the same time. I needed support at home to shine at work. Unfortunately that's what I miss from my H. Now that, if I look back my career status, I've been failing each time, specially I could focus or do well for max 6 months in one position. After that, some or the other family matter makes me lose attention in my work, and eventually that would further pressurize myself; thus I chose to resign or take a break or transfer or whatever. Unless I accept for a lower position, there won't be any suitable vacancies in my home city. I anticipated the same this time when I joined this new work place in a diff town (a sister agency of where I worked for long). Therefore, I requested my family to move with me to the new work-station, so that we all could enjoy work-life balance. My mom rejected this idea (she is our family and pretty much look after the kids while I am on work), and has her own reason not to join I thought it would be manageable at least if my H could join us. But he too had work related stress; hence promised to join only during weekends. With the hectic career, I knew I couldn't handle kids and home all by myself. At least I needed a helping hand and reliable support during initial months till I secure a nanny for the kids in the new city. So, I had to leave the kids & home under mom's care, while my H continued his work in a different city. We have been meeting as family only during weekends. It all went well till we had a supper domestic helper, a driver and my brother's family as our fullest strength. Now that, my brother's family had moved out of country, the domestic helper just left us, and the driver became unreliable. With our house renovation is going on, it becomes crazy at times to expect a 70 yr old woman to look after 2 school goers under 10 yrs of age, and do everything at home front alone. You are right.... though I live far away, all these responsibilities fell on my shoulder, and I pretty much remotely work each and everything for home. Eg: Order take away food, hire uber for their transportation, make calls here and there for all the services such as drinking water, laundry, groceries etc..etc.. Even if Kid A comes late from School, I need to follow up that with the driver, teacher etc..etc... till he reaches safely, as mom doesn't know how to manage, and has no help there to rely on. Now that she is also getting sick and tired of handling everything physically. It has taken a toll on my kid's emotional health & their teachers have noted it. This is affecting my work, specially in a managerial role where I am expected to work hard and stay long at work place. Last week my superior has put it bluntly that I take too much leave, and expect lot of career adjustments which is not acceptable. Our work place has gender equality and decent work principles where flexibility and smaller to bigger adjustments for the inclusion of women and disabled people are at policy level. As long as the staff member delivers the project successfully, it shouldn't matter whether she enjoys her entitlements (leaves, time offs). But this male supervisor doesn't seem to be gender sensitive; hence the problem. Can report against him, but that would make things go worst. Can leave the job silently to teach him a lesson Now that, I think it is not wise to continue the same job... Because... 1- Family issues are not gonna change 2- My supervisor's attitude is not gonna change; hence he may pressurize me due to my issues If I leave this job.... I will have the following responsibilities... 1- EMIs to pay 2- Family expenses to cover I am super confident that I could get another post in no time... and handle the expenses quite well with the savings But chances are almost NIL for me to secure a job in our home city.... so, unless and until the family dynamics changes, things are gonna repeat again and again.. It can affect my reputation and eventually career at larger scale... I am going to sit down with my H to discuss this once for all.... Kindly advice me for meaningful discussion points Thanks in advance!