Work and Work Experience

been there, done that and still dealing with #1,2 and 3. guess almost everyone faces this.
#1 i got so irritated and yelled at that guy. that was very unprofessional of me but he was treating me like i didn't know anything and was very rude too. he then sat with me for discussion and from that time onwards was not rude talking to me but he did mentioned in review that i didnt have interpersonal skills.
#2 i will explain as much as possible. but i dont write down what all i did during the past 6 months so at review time, i forget to cite all the work. My boss' boss gave a good piece of advice during one of the reviews - 'your manager is not losing anything, i'm not losing anything but you are, it is your career, you need to be on top of everything, keep your mgr in cc, get feedbacks from clients and managers frequently, talk to your manager ask him what should i do to get good reviews, do that and in next cycle if he doesnt give review question him'
#3 tough one. i'll make sure i am right in my job. no pending, no mistakes as much as possible. if mistakes admit. i was not able to do anything with this manager. she transferred to a different department on her own. until then it was a mental torture for me.
#4 I am still dealing with it. Anything urgent like he needs to approve my visa, stamping, leaves, etc, i'll call him on the cell, office leave vm, email almost daily, follow up, my manager is not in the same location as i am so it is kind of difficult to catch hold but it takes time and lot of follow up from my side.

 

dear Can Wait,

first of all, you have to draw a line between your personal life and professional life. it means that dont bring professional life in personal life and dont get personal in professional life.

you are going there to work and not to run a family along with others. never ever get personal or emotional about your work whether you get good appraisal or bad, whether your colleagues are good to you or not, whether you are liked by others or not, anything ... just anything limit it to an extent which should not bother you at all.

office is not a college where you make friends. so dont expect that your manager will be friendly to you. even there will be a jealousy factor in all those working around you. so limit yourself to hi, hello, had lunch, was that movie good?, etc such conversations where nowhere you put a risk of getting into loose talk that may put you in trouble later on. avoid gossips. somehow the managers will get the words out from others and will know what you told about them. and in most cases it will be your colleagues who will leak the news to him trying to be a good jhaalra for the boss. i hope you got it.

will continue later dear ....

cheers.

 

hi, i can say that i've had pretty much the same experience during my work period ... it was so irritating coz my boss didn't know anything and that fellow had the guts to complain about me ... then there was this colleague who talked bad about him to me and bad about me to him ... man, she was such a chamchi ... i was so scared and frustrated about my work and the workplace atmosphere that it took a toll on my family life, my hubby and my sleep .. that too i was pregnant at that time ... it was hell for me ... now i decided i want a break and decided to let down all that stuff and start anew ... my kid's doing gr8 and i'm raring to go ... :thumbsup

 

CanWait, there is a funny saying. as a lady was walking towards the office entrance, she was mumbling 'it pays the bills, it pays the bills'

Yes, we all have ego and cannot take bear such people. when it gets on our nerves and it doesnt help when we we escalate - boss' boss, HR, anonymous complaints (in our office we can complain to a special team and they will keep it confidential and deal with it without pulling our name into it) then we have to make a choice.
Are these too much, am I sacrificing my self respect and working here, if yes, then i quit - i say to whomever is handling my resignation "i'm quitting, i love working in challenging environments but this is not one, i'm done working with unethical and unprofession people and management that do nothing about it' in most cases, the management compromises and puts you in a different team. if they don't then they don't deserve our services.
If the issues are not affecting our self respect and its only a matter of irritation and insecurities from others then we have to analyze our situation. it helps us financially, it gives us experience to add in our resumes. continue working with a thought that i can always quit if i cannot take it anymore.
It is very difficult to get a perfect team where everyone appreciates everyone, managers are more of people managers. in reality, people are competitive and dont know to show it in a healthy way. managers want to delay stuff so they don't get tangled in any mess. if they are not aware of a problem then they may not have to deal with it.

 

this is under General Discuss forum. Would it be helpful if you move it to Working women forum.

 

dear CW

coming back to the continuation part, the reason i have said not to get personal with your job is to reduce the "ego factor". the more you get attached the more you will get hurt. office is not a family where everybody will care for you or will bother about your feelings. so the more the ego gets hurt the more difficult it will become for "YOU" and "NOT THEM".

it is this ego which will make "YOUR BP" rise and "NOT THEIRS". it is this ego that will make you yell at "your children and husband (family members in general)" for no reason or fault. in short, any shortcomings in your prefessional life will affect "you and your family" more than anyone else in the office. be it the boss or your colleagues. so now i want to ask you this "is it worth listening to this ego?", "even if you listen to it, does it do good to you or bad?", "is it right to mentally and physically torture your body due to this ego?".

now to your specific questions. i have only this to say.

1. you will be treated according to your "post/position" and not according to your intelligence. if you are a fresher then you will treated like a fresher only, though you may be super intelligent. the intelligence factor affects your appriasal and promotion and not the behaviour of your superiors towards you. i dont mean to say that you will be looked down upon by them. i am only saying that they will not treat you like a queen or princess just because you think so about yourself.

similarly there will be many in the top whom you will consider mediocre. but can you call them that way ? no.

2. whether a mediocre judges your work or a super intelligent creature, should not be the matter of concern for you. at the end of the day he is your boss and you are just providing your service in getting the job done. you are just required to do it the way they ask you to do it. though it may look wrong to you just give them what they want and not what you think is the best.

3. many times you will meet some characters who are not satisfied with whatever you do. just ignore them. there is nothing that you can do to satisfy them. all your efforts will only be in vain. shift your focus to your other work rather than trying to take efforts to make them happy.

4. it is better to change your company once you get the required knowledge and experience, though the colleagues or company is be super good (may be 2 to 4 years). look for your career growth more than concentrating on silly issues. quit when situation is beyond your control and not for day to day issues which will remain even in your new office.

P.S. : the above suggestion holds good only for those silly reasons or problems that we face in office. i am not talking about serious issues like "harassment" which should never be tolerated.

cheers.