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Women Empowerment – Practice What You Preach

Discussion in 'Snippets of Life (Non-Fiction)' started by Sandyr46, Jul 8, 2019.

  1. Sandyr46

    Sandyr46 Gold IL'ite

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    “I wish more women realized that helping another woman win, cheering her on, praying for her, or sharing a resource with her, does NOT take away from the blessings coming to them. In fact the more you give, the more you receive. Empowering women doesn’t come from selfishness but rather from selflessness” Selene Kinder

    I had posted a story ‘A Mothers Resilience’ yesterday. This is a sequel to how her husbands, brothers wife manipulated the most vulnerable moment to profess her superiority and destroyed the marital relation of my friend.

    To begin with a little background about my friend who was also my colleague then. She was a successful working woman unlike her sister-in-law who was a housewife and had a 5 year old daughter then. My friend adored her daughter and there was never a time when she did not shower the choicest gifts to the girl or her sister-in-law. She never had siblings of her own so she really loved her sister-in-law like her own sister.

    To me the sister-in-law seemed more like a conniving lady. I have always been a very skeptical individual perhaps someone who trusted her instincts more. In this case here was the reason why.

    My friend conceived a month after marriage and reportedly a month and half later this sister-in-law of hers got pregnant too. The part where she called to inform my friend about her conceiving seemed less of a coincidence and more of something she planned, felt more like competition.

    My friend hushed me saying how I am so critical and judge people. We even had a small argument over it. The d-day arrived and you are all aware about how the baby was born. But what I got to see that day was something that blew off my mind.

    Remember I mentioned how the family never informed the critical condition of the baby to the mother. This was something planned and directed by this so called babhi of my friend.

    Since I was not a family member I couldn’t speak much but I kept a hawks eye on this woman.

    Sometimes during crisis your instincts speak and while I noticed my friends hubby frantic and desperate hearing the condition of the child I could literally sense an eerie relief displayed by this babhi. There was this sly mode of happiness in her eyes and she was constantly discussing something with my friends hubby and it felt more like a complaint about my friend than a family member encouraging him to be strong.

    I felt like a critique then and kept saying to myself just be quiet. But I was proved right. Initially this babhi thought that I don’t undersrand Marathi but her silent conversations with other members of the family was something that proved my instincts to be right.

    When the in-laws family came in she pretended to cry and equally blaming my friend stating she was the reason the baby was in that state. She gave more importance to work resulting in the baby to be born with lung issue. And when her family came in she seemed to have these light happy conversations.

    I was already seething with fury. There she was this woman, a mother to be not only ruining the marriage of another woman but feeling happy and superior seeing another woman in distress !

    There were times when my friends hubby accepted and started blaming his wife followed by other members of the family. I felt helpless.

    On one end my friend lay there unconscious unaware of how critical her child was and on the other end there was this woman who was manipulating the situation to her benefit. The drama queen did not stop there. I heard she went home with her family collected a few neighbors and was literally mourning as if there was already a death in the family !!

    All this to gain attention and prove that she was the only woman in the family who cared for the well being of her husband and brother, her kid.

    I could literally see and hear how much she had made my friends husband hate her. At that point of time his wife seemed a culprit to him. Someone responsible for the critical condition of his child.

    Its sad how some people manipulate vulnerable moments and destroy relationships.

    Throughout those 25 days I was unable to say much to my friend. Although I could sense how disappointed her babhi was with the turn of events. But she was successful in creating the rift between my friend and her hubby. Damage had been done. Whenever my friend called to discuss she told me he still blamed her and he never looked up at her as his wife after the incident.

    They are not divorced but there is nothing between them. I did tell my friend later about what transpired. She said she knew as during the 25 day stay at the hospital many a times he confronted her saying his babhi told him that his childs critical illness was due to her and had even slapped her once when she tried to defend.

    This time when I met her we had a long conversation. She was in an unhappy and loveless marriage. But she stayed for the sake of her child.

    As for her babhi, ‘karma’ is like 8 they say, what goes around comes back around. Her whole agenda was to have a boy child to show her superiority as the elder bahu of the family. But as fate had it was a girl. She had blamed my friend for being a bad mother, a twist of fate her own negligence costed her the life of that child at 3years.

    Women being an enemy of another women is a curse to all womankind. Instead of empowering our fellow women we try to bring them down with jealousy, showing superiority. Its high time we practice what we preach and empower our fellow women , uplift them instead of letting our own kind down.
     
    sindmani, BhumiBabe and satchitananda like this.
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  2. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    More than the bhabhi specimen, the biggest blame lies on the useless husband. He owes the woman his trust and love . Your friends story to be is not about a woman letting down another woman. It is more about a husband letting down his wife.
    I do not believe in karma and don’t think the bhabhi losing her child has anything to do with it. However evil the person is, no one should lose their child. As a mother, I cannot imagine anyone going through it.

    Thanks for sharing your friends story.
     
  3. Sandyr46

    Sandyr46 Gold IL'ite

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    I so agree with u Manisha.

    This lady left her 3 year old kid unattended alone at her society park and went in a date with her hubby that day. Now thats called negligence. And the best part my friend stood with her babhi being a backbone throughout the incident. Imagine her surprise when the doctor informed her that the mother told her if the child would be handicapped after the incident being a girl child nobody would marry her and she will be a burden to the family and herself all her life if she survived.

    No doubt tbe poor child did not survive. The best joke is she concieved again it seems again for a boy and kept telling family members her dead daughter will take rebirth as a boy. To her dismay it was a baby girl again but she still kept stating my dead daughter is back.

    I really dont know what I should be calling this being. A human, woman, mother....lost for words
     
  4. Anusha2917

    Anusha2917 Finest Post Winner

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    Am I understanding this correctly? Correct me if I'm wrong.
    Bhabhi had a girl child ?
    If so how can having a girl child be termed as a play of karma Sandy?
    Isn't it a blessing.. ?
     
    SinghManisha and sbonigala like this.
  5. Sandyr46

    Sandyr46 Gold IL'ite

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    She wanted a 'boy'. The whole jealousy and competition stems from the fact that she only wanted a boy not a girl.

    Karma is for the wrong accusation she placed on my friend to be the cause of the babys condition whereas it was never her fault. But real negligence was when she left her 3 year old child astray and alone at the park.
     
    Anusha2917 likes this.
  6. sbonigala

    sbonigala Platinum IL'ite

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    Such a spineless man !!

    There can be an evil sister, sister-in-law etc but never a mother who can be evil to her little baby.
    How devastating it would have been for the mother to lose a child - how much she would have regretted her choice of sending the child to the park !
    I am really glad that she has another child now. however, for a mother the pain of losing a child wont go away, no matter what.
    By the way, do you know the complete story of leaving the child alone in the park ? Did she ask a neighbour to look after the child for a couple of hours and the neighbour was negligent?
     
    SinghManisha likes this.
  7. Sandyr46

    Sandyr46 Gold IL'ite

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    No mother in her right senses will leave a 3year old child unattended to have a date night. She had no remorse rather she feared if the child survived after the accident with a complication nobody would marry her. Her second attempt too was for 'boy' specifically not a 'girl'. Even now its her elder daughter who is more or less like a mother to her sister. The mother still regrets that God did not bless her with a boy ! God bless those girl children and the lovely soul...
     
  8. nakshatra1

    nakshatra1 Platinum IL'ite

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  9. satchitananda

    satchitananda Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Hi Sandy,

    I agree, women can sometimes be the enemies of other women. However, in this case, I wonder how a husband can be so stupid as to believe that this particular problem could be caused by 'lack of care' by the mother to be. Ignorance and willingness to blame the situation on the nearest possible person is one of the biggest problems.

    Hope he has seen some sense now that the son is 9, doing brilliantly. Hope he is treating your friend better. If he could 'punish' her for the infant's problems, he should be rewarding her for snatching the kid from the jaws of death and turning him into a star!
     
    SinghManisha and Afresh like this.
  10. iamsrihere

    iamsrihere Platinum IL'ite

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    Your friend's husband is to be blamed big time..If he is a person who can be manipulated easily by people around, yesterday it was the sister in law, today could be someone else and the same tomorrow..

    They say bad situations in life show the real color of people, here your friend must have understood her husband's real face who could not even empathize with a woman who had recently given birth to his child undergoing severe mental and physical agony..

    And people like her sister in law do exist..forget about her karma..People who do not have remorse continue to have to have bad vibes and still exist ..Im more concerned about your friend's life which has still not been repaired..
     
    SinghManisha likes this.

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