woman's or gals life is passing through many ppl. Confusion whom to belive

ammchakanand · Jun 5, 2012

my dear illites
You should understand how a woman's or gals life is passing through many ppl.
im seeking help from you dear.I am from and married to a decent family.The problem here is My husbands periyappa (bb)is a very close family friend of my father.we are from same town and i know this family from my childhood,even my hubbys's grandfather.my dh and mil is totally against periyappa (ie fils big brother),Wenever i see my dh's other family except dh mil and sometimes fil tey are supporting bb(Big brother alias periyappa).sometimes i find tat my fil support bb and in front of mil he acts.right from my marriage my dad gave some gift to bb's fly and this was not liked by my ill's side.my mil was constantly asking "y u gave gift" .bb use to tell fil that tey(my dad) called us for this and that function.suddenly my mil pressure goes up "y r u ppl calling them "ask me.i ve no clue of wat is going there.My father does it suddenly it comes on my head.I ve told my mom these things are the things happening ,second thing my sis is abt to get married she is not getting horoscope and this bb helped us to find a guy and this was totally wrong person my sis said no the marriage and we found that the guys father is a authoritative type.Another raltive of bb came with a horoscope and father believed he will support us instead he supported the boy side and later we found out that boys father has got skin problem(pale/pandu).on other hand my mil didnt help to find a guy for my sis.Wen my sis came to the town were i live for a earning,these guys(fil n mil) started saying "y she is cumming here?ask her to go back to native?"as if the town belongs to them.they never dare to talk to my parents.My mils relative is a close frnd(gk) of my dad who was the one to take hand in my marriage after hearing all the story he said that mil's mom is the problematic person .who does not like bb He felt very sorry for me .one day i came to hear from dh tat bb said some bad things about mil to whole fly.my mil is a total bull **** :bonk,dont know how to talk to ppl.wen prbl arise she pass the prb to my fil who always:shaking:how to deal the prob?Witsend.in short i dont like my married life feel tat i shold do sme love marrage :bonk:bang

sarajara · Jun 8, 2012

hi op,

what ever type of marriage you are into you can only choose the type of DH only. We dont have a choice with IL or extended family.

If MIL and DH are against peripa , let them be.. when they question your gifting and other things tell them flat on their fce that your dad was friends with him even before you cajme to know of their family and that its your own personal discretion on gifting Periappa or his family or inviting them for occasions.. and no body can have a say on that.

If MIL and FIL asks why ur sis is with you.. tell them that its your house too and that she has the rights to come to her own sister's house.. If they still complain.. make it clear that your friends / relatives would be viisting you and if they want some privacy let them be seperate. I believe that it should teach them a lesson.

I think you are yet to get used to the new place.. just chill and make sure that your relationships with others in the family are smooth. Just learn to handle things one by one.. it would all get settled. Dont worry

All the Best!

ammchakanand · Jun 8, 2012

Hi
Thanks savietha rajaram..thank u for ur support.sure will question one day ..suddenly a day b4 she came and started crying in my apartment.she is totally a nut! i came to know from her relative tat she is best in seprating family her mom too did it
ur loving
ammchak

anahita5 · Jun 8, 2012

how long have you been married ? Work on your relationship with your hubby. Your inlaws are funny, they not only want to control you but your family and extended family too. Be polite but strict like you would deal with a kid. all the best. Most relatives are nuisance.