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Will you keep in touch with your husband's relatives after separation

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by soulhappy, Mar 5, 2014.

  1. soulhappy

    soulhappy Silver IL'ite

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    I am in an abusive relationship and have madeup my mind to separate. There is a history of abusive behaviour in his fathers side. I have put up with this for 8 years and don't have the energy to stress more. My personal, financial and professional life is suffering and it has taken a toll on physical and mental health. Some of my inlaws are good and I like them. But sometimes am upset with them for they broughtup my husband and they turned a blind ear to my words in the beginning . They say that they care for me but they dont have my number and am scared and stressed to keep in touch. I am going for counseling and ,my psychologist advise d me to stay from stress because of my mental state. I live overseas and I do feel homesick. I will travel to india within next 2 months. Am on antidepressants. Will you keep in touch with inlaws after you divorce your husband? Please help friends...
     
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  2. soulhappy

    soulhappy Silver IL'ite

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    Its very unfortunate that this thread has 97 views and not one single reply. Do you want me to move this post elsewhere? Please advise.
     
  3. nalinidiv

    nalinidiv Platinum IL'ite

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    It depends... if ur inlaws ahve been relatives prior to ur marriage... contacting dem is fine... but if it is not so... I don find a single reason to talk to dem... went he root is cut down... y do u have to bother that the branch might get hurt while falling!!!!
     
  4. soulhappy

    soulhappy Silver IL'ite

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    No , they are not my relatives. Thats true....
     
  5. Marun

    Marun Platinum IL'ite

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    I would say NO! Once you are separated, you don't have to be in touch with any of the husband side relatives. It may invite unnecessary problems.
     
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  6. chillbreeze

    chillbreeze Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Personally, I feel it is best to put everything/everyone behind and move on. Though relatives are nice to you, they are a reminder of your married life. Also, you can't expect them to be on your side or be nice to you always. You know what they say about blood being thicker than water.
     
  7. guesshoo

    guesshoo IL Hall of Fame

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    Hugs to you.

    You have been extremely strong and have taken a very brave decision.

    I suggest that you do not try to contact your ex's relatives. No one knows your story of abuse better than you; unfortunately, you will be asked questions, your will be issues trivialised and you will be urged to get back together with your husband. In my opinion that judgement and confusion is something you can do without, at this point.

    If people want to be in touch with you, I am certain that they can find out one way or another. Don't look back.

    Love,
    g
     
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  8. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Agree with guesshoo.If you have made up your mind to separate ,then don't stay in touch. If they like you ,they will try to convince you to stay in the marriage as they will have mixed feelings. It will become difficult to make a clean break.

    Once you are divorced and recover from it ,then if you want ,you can renew your contact with people you really care for. Otherwise ,don't stay in touch.
     
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  9. Maddy2087

    Maddy2087 Platinum IL'ite

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    NEVER :) Telling you from personal experience...
     
  10. soulhappy

    soulhappy Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you, my psychologist suggested me to not contact them anymore. I dont want to stress myselfor get hurt again. I am on antidepressants now. I find unable to sleep. I am still with him only. I am scared how am I going to lead my life. I am 35 with no career and financial stability by self. But I have a strong support from my parents and sibling. I am extremely grateful to God for that and I want my spouse to be happy. No bitter feelings. Thank you for the reply....please pray for me...
     

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