Will You Be My GF?

Dear Sridhar ,

A wonderful write up on friendship WITH OPPOSITE SEX !
Hope u won’t mind criticizing or kidding you a bit- while appreciating you as well! I continue ... assuming that you say “ not at all – carry on INDHU.“ .

. –Shall I tell you something , Sridhar ? – Had u just attempted to give a romantic look at such women , they would have run several miles away from where u stood - in no time ! hahahaha……just kidding , ok ? You really look good & young for ur age , sridhar -no doubt ! hiya...escape ! )

I totally disagree with you on this point : If we have our mind in control , the distance is not at all a matter to be mentioned or considered. A person with a determined mind can remain genuine spending a whole night with his / her opposite sex in a closed room ( i think one of ur nice stories prove this – what say you ? ) I strongly stick to the opinion ( FYI – I ‘m not an opinionated person ) that there is no wrong in having friends in opposite sex if we have a strong & steady mind (not allowing to cross our limits ) . Of course we'll start moving with them only after confirming that they are as genuine as we are !

Apart from my ( rough? ) comments … Sridhar , I declare wholeheartedly : you are a person to be respected by women , shown affection by whoever you are moving with & appreciated by all the kind hearts !

After finished reading your post , the only thought I came to my mind was : I might have been ONLY your GF instead of your DW – to receive such Great words of praise from you ! Luckier they are ! In my next birth i would like to be ur G F ! ! ! ! Agreed ?
Love ,
Indhu.

 

Dear Sridhar,
You have proved to be an expert at "packaging" !!
I hope you already think of me as a Good Friend. That is how I think of you ever since we met 2.5 yrs back !
I have “men friends” only after I started interacting on the net. It is likely that they find in me, a 60+, a mature though elderly friend (safe age group as well, not to leave out that point) ! Yet another interesting fact is that their wives are known to me and this makes them feel “secure” with me !!
A friend from the opposite sex complements a woman’s thought process very well, is my personal opinion. In our life, there are times when we find our inner conflict too much to cope with and when we find a person who turns out to be a panacea for all our torments, we feel drawn to them to confide, seek advice etc. This is where I think, a man or a woman is supportive to the other, as a good friend.
A spouse can be very caring, loving, supportive etc, but need not always be a close friend – I am not generalising please, there, being exceptions. A good friend does prove an emotional anchor when we go through low phases. They need not always agree on every point with us, but there is an underlying current of understanding which cements the friendship always!
Now that we are GFs, you need not ask me this question again!
Love,
Chithra.

 

Dear Sridhar,

Not again Sridhar...............your titles really drives me crazy !!

GF as girl friend or good friend is okay with me. Because I am a girl and a good friend also (hopefully...I am a self proclaimer.... you know).

One thing Sridhar men (no offence meant) just cannot take a girl friend as a good friend. I feel they are totally perverted. From my college days whenever I have spoken to a BF little extra, immediately they were ready to go on a date. Then I decided no men for me. Still I have inhibitions when I am with menfolk though I have lot of them now. Because slowly I am trying to change and get out of my mental block. Mybe the social setup is also like that.

To be very honest........I do like a lot chatting with men and exchanging our views..that is why I am here with you.

 

Dear Varalotti (I am curious to know the story behind this alias!)

Amusing read! I neither thought of girl friend nor good friend (dumb, you can say) when I opened the post. I am still amused as to why the sex should matter when it comes to friendship. Imagine that you are just getting acquainted with a person of your same sex and you find that this person has certain values which you dont identify with. For eg, passes lewd jokes on other sex, dresses in a vulgar fashion (well, dressing sense can apply to men also!) etc. Now, you would not continue the friendship whether it was a woman or a man, right! So, an acquaintance becomes a GF after passing certain criteria and I wonder whether any of the criteria is to do with the sex of that person. I think not. I am equally uncomfortable (or may be more) with a woman with values I cannot identify with, as with men.

There can be more than one GFs for a person but only one spouse (who encompasses many other relationships). And I feel that your spouse should definitely know as to who your GFs are. If there is trust and love in the marriage, it will not matter whether the GF is a man or a woman. Also, it is not practical to expect one's GF to become a friend of your spouse too.

Finally, I feel that is a women's thing to have lots of friends (more like acquaintances) but few GFs. The barriers to become a GF of women is more formidable and you seem to be one of the few who have managed to cross that successfully with many women. Kudos to you!

Cheers,

Sumathy

 

Dear Varalotti,

I really dont know what to say.... GF - Girl friend / Good friend....

I have quiet a few friends of opposite sex... I never felt different... They are my friends.... just thats all...

I am strongly of the opinion, if you have belief in yourself then you need not think too much about the friends - which sex they belong to... At the same time, if you are married then you have to think if your better half before continuing the friendship... I have seen a couple of families getting shattered purely because of unwanted supicion and things...

So if you want to continue the friendship then your DH/DW should understand an support you... Else, the friendship is gone....

You are really like to have a great DW... From whatever little bit of interaction I had and after going through her replies... She is great... She helps and supports you in full... Similarly Shanthi understands me and stand by me... This gives me the freedom... I talk to her even if I flirt with or oogle other ladies.... So this makes you feel comfortable and puts you on ease...

So, when you take a friend, you accept a friend... not thinking of gender and all...

The more we think of Girl/Boy.... the tendency to stray and goof up the friendship comes into play.... this is my opinion...

Veda

 

Dear Sridhar,
I do not jump to conclusions on reading your titles, as I am sure that there would be something interesting in that. And also I am sure that you will never write anything which would hurt us, your friends.
I had been fortunate enough to have many many friends, both genders included. Some are still friends. I did not have any bitter experience when being friends with men. But I should say, I had been careful in selecting my friends.
Once I came to Chennai after marriage, I did not know even one single person of my own gender. All my colleagues were men only except a lady peon. Then I was transfered to another office in the platform in the Central station. There too only men, not even ladypeon was available.
I got a good friend there, he is a married man with 2 children. My husband and his wife, both knew about our friendship. We used to share our thoughts regularly. My husband used to insist that I ask his company when I go out anywhere from office.We are still friends and he comes to meet me a few times annually.
I have this to say about being friends with the opposite sex- both the parties should have a mature mind which knows its limitations.
And you do know that I am your GF, as you are my GF, don't you?

 

HELLO VARALOTTI,Its very interesting,and very good to read all your mails.REALY I need a GOOD FRIEND like you,.If you accept my friendship with u ,I will be very happy. its A GREAT GIFT, GIVEN BY GOD(TO BE YOUR GOOD FRIEND WITH YOU).THANK U VERY MUCH.I will expect your reply very soon.GOOD NIGHT,BYE YOUR GOOD FRIEND-SURYAKALA FROM NEWZEALAND.

 

to be honest with you sir,
when you had written GF, i did think of it as girl friend.
but having read your previous posts, i knew better. somehow or rather you may debunk the myth held by those two letters (GF).
and true enough GF can also mean good friends (which was second meaning that crossed my mind after that).
indeed many a time it has been said that men and women cannot maintain a platonic relationship without one or the either succumbing to their strong feelings(which may be actually infatuation instead of love as they want to think). but then again, there is proof that friendship surpasses all and many remain as friends.

and yes sir, im willing to be your good friend sir.Bow

cheers
maya