Will I be forgiven:-(

Well Shruthi, if you are no longer in talking terms with aunt, then leave this issue. dont worry, I think you have done everything in your power to fix the damage.

 

It is very clear here that your aunt called u and kept pestering you for the reason u looked gloomy that day, so you had no other go but to tell what your friend told u, so dont feel guilty about it because anyone in that place would have done the same thing as u.

Here again I cannot understand why your friend and her mom shud feel so depressed about this girl getting married, may be she had a bad past but she may be more truthful in her present life, I wonder why they have to feel so bad and bad mouth against her to your sisters in the wedding hall itself.


I

Its okay now, what is once said is said and you cannot take back but still you can improve your relation with your aunt, call her and enquire about the bride and apologise to her and tell her u personally dont know anything about her but it was only because of this friend u came to know some details which may not be true.

If still your aunt is not satisfied, then just forget the incident, only time can do the healing.

 

That's evil by Indian values. People who talk like that during the wedding ceremonies usually are scum and low life. How could you trust them?

Any way, your tone of posts above seem to indicate a hope/wish that what you said about the DIL come true. I encourage you to be genuinely sorry and hope the DIL has a nice life with her hubby. That will be a good way to start to redeem ...

Peace.

 

Such a gal? It doesn't matter what I want for my brother or son, it matters what HE wants. And you yourself just said the guy knew about it before marrying her. It is really sad that this couple was enjoying married life but too many outsiders had to step in and ruin it.

I doubt you nor your friend really know this girl, so everyone of you should have kept your mouths shut! Now you are saying 'such' a gal as if you know all about her! Jeez, where does the judgment end?

If she has an anxiety issue or depression, she needs to see a DOCTOR not be fed this stupid nonsense of being posessed or black magic.

Think about it.... you are newly married and your mil starts blasting you about what abc and xyz said at your wedding, bringing up your past, asking about your mental health... all this while you thought you were starting a new life with your husband! I don't know about you, but I would cry too! Yeah, I would be depressed too! It seems like you all just expect her to be docile and cool throughout it all, but put yourself in her shoes, and I think you could understand why she is now feeling depressed!

Yeah, the bride and her dad are RIGHT! Your friend IS a loose character. A decent person does not go talking smack when they are a guest at a wedding or try to cause friction in a family! It's just not acceptable! Now look what has happened. It's a shame.

 

OK, she is only asking "would you want him to marry", not "would you allow that to happen". I think most siblings wouldn't want their brother to marry "such a" girl if they know for sure. Of course it doesn't matter what others want, I would agree with you on that.

I agree absolutely with this that they should leave them alone. It is their life and it is not that they are unhappy with each other and actively seeking others' opinion.

 

Shruthi, your morals and religious values DONT MATTER in this case!! She is not YOUR wife! You shouldn't have said anything!! And you should have shut your friend up too! This guy wanted to marry her, knowing 100% of her past.... so how was it yours and everyone elses right to comment on her? Unbelievable! Is it so hard to stay out of other people's business? You have started the snow ball rolling down the hill, and now it's turning into an avalanche. :bonkWhat's worse, is it sounds like in some corner of your mind, you think what you did is justified because she is 'such' a girl.

Because whether it is true or not, the dil will know that this info will be kept in your aunt's mind and could be used against her sometime in the future. This girl is now married, probably left all her problems behind her on her wedding day... and now your friend came along and tried to topple the apple cart. Obviously the dil will feel defensive against your friend. You and your friend are playing a sly game. You let the gossip out of the bag, but when aunt digs for more details, you both act like it's not right to say anymore. If your friend didn't want to cause trouble, she wouldn't have said one word in the first place. If I were you I would WATCH OUT. If this is how your friend behaves as a guest at other people's weddings, imagine what she says about you when you aren't around. Gossip is fun to hear sometimes, but just remember, when the gossiper runs out of material, YOU could be next.

That's true, but your aunt is human like the rest of us. When she hear's scandelous gossip, she'd obviously want to know more. I think that's what's happening now.

Visu, I wouldn't mind my brother marrying 'such' a girl if she's the one he wanted! And really.... this is GOSSIP! Who knows how much of it is true? About her depression... any one of us 'normal' people could become depressed after marriage. Or develop some other mental illness. Would we divorce 'such' a spouse then due to their illness? And about having sex before marriage, if it really even happened, how is that a siblings business to know? Are we going to start thinking of divorcees as cheap women too because they have had sex before? The only one who has any right to be bothered about a woman's past sex life is her husband, and vice versa. Since the husband doesn't mind, nobody else should even be thinking about it. Would you want your siblings and family to know how many times a week you have sex with your spouse or what positions you do? Of course not. Certain info is NONE of anyone elses business, and that includes previous sex life.

The world would be a better place if people stopped sticking their fingers into pies that don't belong to them.