Why is woman asked to compromise.......scientific reasons to this, if any....

BeeAmma, if you had noticed my post talked about infanticide inasmuch as it covers specifically targeting female babies - I have seen/heard of people, even those from the affluent and educated communities who have preferences for a male child, and can actually quote one such from a poster right here on IL (not specifying names, but the lady in question was being pressured to consider aborting the child if it turned out to be female). In this context, it is not without reason that the Indian Govt has a law in place that makes it illegal for gynecs to reveal the sex of an unborn baby, or even for parents to ask docs about whether their kid is male/female.

As regards infanticide in terms of infants dying because of wilful diregard and abuse by parents and caretakers/SIDS caused because of gross negligence/sexual abuse etc., these IMO cannot be solely viewed in cultural terms since these may not be directly a result of cultural influences.

Agreed. Today's women in general are facing a crossroad of sorts, they find themselves in a path of rediscovery but still see many who plain refuse to move ahead from centuries bygone - from being a movement to contend with, feminism today is a thought that women themselves would rather not associate with - of course some people have contributed to feminism getting a bad reputation as it is.

Yet, fact remains that despite the leaps and bounds we have come, the great leaders we have seen - from our president to our US ambassador to CEOs of corporate giants Indian women are proving their merit in more ways than one. But complacency never did anybody good. IMO unless the deep-rooted mindsets change, particularly of those who feel any woman asserting herself at work/home is a sign of trouble - this means that there may be battles won, but the war rages on.

In the end women will be TRULY liberated only if she chooses to throw away the shackles that she binds her MIND with. Women need to be liberated from their own personal limitations first - that will spark the journey of a day when compromise will not be the first word a woman learns!

 

Well interestingly enough, it is working women in India who face more domestic violence than non working women and educated women face more domestic violence than non educated women, according to these sources. One would tend to think educated and working women would face less domestic violence than the uneducated and unemployed.

The Hindu : News / National : Working women face more domestic violence in India: Study

In India, Domestic Violence Rises with Education | Womens eNews

And as for female infanticide a.k.a foeticide, evidently this practice is more rampant among the affluent than the poor. ( And you would tend to think it should be the other way around due to socio-economic reasons)

(I'll find the article where i read this. Can't seem to locate it)

 

Malavika,

IMO the stats we see may not necessarily be reflective of the entire community at large - afterall the particpants pooled are just a small percentage chosen across demographics no doubt, but to base them and arrive at the ACTUAL numbers would be rather counter-productive I would say.

Having said that, I would say that your logic itself answers your question. Why would working/well educated women face (more) DV? Because the way the perpetrators see it these 'seemingly empowered' women pose a bigger threat to their power/position/ego, and as I said before any indication of assertiveness from these women is seen as a 'problem' to be nipped in the bud. Some skewed logic huh. IMO this might help explain why women who are more self sufficient 'may' face more hardships, and yes women need to be equipped with the right tools (legal and otherwise) so as to better react to this kind of controlling situations - now that's something that is NOT going to happen overnight!

 

Nobody can force anyone to compromise or adjust.It is the individual who decides to adjust or compromise.I think when a woman decides to take all atrocities against her she must have evaluated all the options kept in front of her.Doesn't she know that if she breaks the marriage she will be free from all atrocities?But few women do not choose a divorce due to the following reasons.

-Scared of society
-No support from parents
-The men in the society will not leave her in peace
-Some do not have finacial independence
-Kids will have pressure from kids in their group
-Single women will not be treated well in any social gathering

Women are scared to live alone and the aftermath of divorce is not so pleasant in our society.It is upto the individual to decide whether to stick to the marriage or to divorce.The individual cannot blame anyone asking her to to ADJUST as she chooses the adjustment path.

There are a lot of women who have turned their marriage to be a bed of roses due to their adjustment,positive attitude and brilliance.Saying this , I do understand that every marriage is not worth saving.I have seen many aunties who have turned their lives so pleasant and their husband's dance to their tunes now(husbands who were abusing them physically and emotionally before are now puppets:bonk).They stayed in the marriage with a hope and worked on it.I don't know what they would be if they had chosen to leave the marriage.So every action has itz own pros and cons.JMO.

NOTE: People who say that Indian needs to improve and hence we choose to pick up on Indian culture always...I do not know how it will help when Indian culture being poked in every thread will help in improving India.There are better ways to improve a country.

BTW, Somebody here said India is underdeveloped.Please get your fact right.

 

B, I said India is under developed and will still say the same. As a society we still do not have social conscience.

As a society we still are much behind in coming together to address several issues.

Indian culture is good but it needs to be reorganized to the rapidly changing world. As always, we need to retain the best of our values and imbibe the best of the western culture as well. We cannot and must not allow the mundane or age old thoughts to ruin a womans life.

Your examples are good and have worked where the situation and circumstances have cooperated.

 

Canwait , A country is termed underdeveloped or developed based on a lot of things and we are termed as "Developing Country".BTW, I thought only Mithy referred India as underdeveloped.hmmm:bonk
As a society , Yes,I do agree with you that we need to address a lot of issues.But these issues should be addressed from the grass root.We bring a male child saying that he is the best and discriminate male and female child among ourselves.There are a lot of mommies out there who crib that their husband must have been brought in a better way but when it comes to their son they bring him up as a MALE.We need to teach the right values to both male and female child.

Exactly , I agree with you 100% on this.And that is the reason I mentioned that not every marriage is worth saving.I am sure most of the women would have tried their level best to save the marriage before they opt to walk out.But there are some women who pick up the DV law in their hand and just walk out of marriage claiming they are "pudhumai pengal".I am talking about these kind of women."Pudhumai Pen " is suppose to be broadminded , intelligent and deal issues in a better way.She will opt to walk out only if things are irreversible and will never change.

I cannot agree with you more on this.I really wonder why is that every rule is formed with women at the receiving end.When a wife dies, Man beomes a new groom.But the women should loose everything.Same goes for Rape victim.While the man should be termed characterless here we choose to say that the girl is characterless.:rant

My words might not be relevant to this thread.But just vented out.

 

Difference in terminologies aside, is there a difference between 'developing country' or ' Newly Industrialized country' or 'Under developed' countries? I think they are all much of a muchness.

India by most metrics, is indeed classified as a underdeveloped country. Per capita GDP, Infrastructure, access to healthcare, access to drinking water, disparity in wealth, quality of life etc. Barring Japan, Singapore, S.Korea, Taiwan and Hongkong, all other Asian countries are classified as underdeveloped nations. Countries like China and India and couple of others are better of the pack and they like to be termed under 'Developing nations' or 'Newly Industrialized nations' or whatever else, but they are still underdeveloped countries in reality.

So I am not really sure what is derogatory or negative about calling India as a underdeveloped country when it is indeed underdeveloped, unless this is a war on semantics.

 

I agree with Malvika. This post is a general discussion. Once that happens, atleast people who respond in other forums will write, and the discussion will start getting progressive. Else, it will remain a collection of personal thoughts, facts and some little information! JMO!

Arch

 

Malavika, how much ever the above statement is true, but it is very disheartening to read this..
Agreed!! interms of GDP, healthcare services, infrastructure, Law enforcement, India is way behind.. Does that mean we need to trash it.. NO.. We need to build it..
If i'm right the so called developed nations like USA, UK, european countries have not become 'Developed' overnight.. It has taken decades to centuries to reach this level of development.. Despite this kind of development, still there are social evils which need to be dealt with even by USA, UK ..
Similary, India is still in a devoloping stage, it might take decades to centuries to reach the status of a 'Devolped Nation' interms of GDP, health care, treatment of women..
As far as i have known, the laws and legislations in India are as fair as the western countries' laws and regulations.. For the society and the culture to change, it requires generations to pass..
One important note, even the west has given unequal treatment to women in the past.. You said women were employed in factories during World Wars, while the men were deployed at warfront.. But do you know that, when the war was over, Most of the women employees were ruthlessly replaced by Men who returned home from the war.. These women were not only laid off for no fault of theirs but also were not given any kind of compensation for laying them off by the employers.. This is a clear case of discrimination against women at workplace.. Only in the 1970's did white collar jobs began to exist and feminists started speaking of 'Equality to women at workplace'..
Now, with this i'm not justifying - because the west has its flaws, it is ok for indians to have flaws as well.. The point i'm trying to make is, it will take time to achieve equality of women in India too..
I think we should stop looking at a fair skinned people to be more superior and make them our role model.. Even if we look up to the west as a role model for India to develop, Our problems wont get vanished away.. Because the entire set up is different from the west.. Our problems are unique to our own country and it has to be solved by us..