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Why is woman asked to compromise.......scientific reasons to this, if any....

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by meena2, Mar 14, 2010.

  1. meena2

    meena2 Senior IL'ite

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    I thought getting to the bottom of this question can help in many marital or relationship issues so am bringing it up here.
    Let us all dig deeper in a more scientific way considering psychological, biological factors that influence this.


    WHY IS IT THAT IN MANY SITUATIONS WOMEN ARE ASKED TO COMPROMISE IN MARITAL LIFE?


    Ok we can argue saying that if no one compromises then what will happen to their married life.....ofcourse leads to separation but why is it that most of the times it is the woman who is advised to stay calm, think on behalf of the peace of the family. We can understand back in those days women were financially dependent. But when that is getting lesser, even then women are advised by well-wishers to accept their husband's behavior and work around it.

    There are always exceptions to this and many a times, a man is asked to correct his attitude but I am talking about the majority.
    Give your insights into this.....plzz....
     
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  2. saipavani123

    saipavani123 Silver IL'ite

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    [JUSTIFY]because woman has got greatest capacity of bringing things her way through her patience. Its greatest gift given to her. We heard story of sati savithri and some other woman(don't remember her name) and others who achieved most impossible things through their patience(in their in-laws and husband perspective) . Woman is asked to compromise . I think inner meaning o the dialogue is stay calm for now and bring the ball to your court through your patience.

    In my view woman is far more emotionally strong than a man. Give all these marital problems or in-laws problems to a man....even the most intelligent one...he will either go mad or run away somewhere . But woman faces them . Some woman adjust...(literally adjust)...some woman adjust and make things work their way in course of time.

    I agree women were dependant financially during olden days. Being financially dependant doesn't mean solve marital problems in destructive way by not compromising. It is said to solve in constructive way . In my view compromising doesn't mean adjust. It means win the heart of people and bring them to your way slowly and permanently !!! :). In my view Patience is the greatest boon a woman has got . [/JUSTIFY]
     
  3. Malavika81

    Malavika81 Bronze IL'ite

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    Meena, what you describe is very culture specific. In lot of Asian cultures, the women is indoctrinated ever since she is young that she is to be bequeathed to a man when she grows up and she has to be submissive and subservient to him and make all the adjustments however unreasonable they are, to make the relationship work. The woman is expected to know how to cook, clean, do laundry and all other household duties and the parents think as a woman, she should possess all these skills to please her future husband. Why don't they teach all these skills to the male child? Hey, I like a husband who would cook and clean for me and do all my chores and pick up after me so better teach your boy how to please me LOL

    In Indian culture specifically, the female child in most cases is viewed as a liability and the male child as an asset so once that line of thinking and attitude changes as time goes by, then women won't be expected to make all the compromises after all. And Indian parents are mostly guilty of this because they would expect their daughter to make unreasonable compromises to make the marriage work so that she does not quit a lousy marriage and come back to live with the parents and that is a social stigma for them. They don't invariably do this with their male child. Why? I don't know.
     
  4. NandiniGG

    NandiniGG Silver IL'ite

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    well...what i think is..women is the one who leaves her house and comes to live with a family.So they will obviously support each other in everything whether its right or wrong and put all the blame on women shoulder that she is not compromising ..she has to adjust.She is like a minority in that house or you can say outsider and most of the time women can not leave their husband's house also.So what's the option left??Adjustment..compromise.
     
  5. Tara09

    Tara09 New IL'ite

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    I sometimes wish I had a magic wand and turned the whole world especially our Indian society upside down and put all the men in womens' place and see how these men put up with the crap they create in marital life.

    Will they follow their own stupid advise they give their wife always.....ADJUST and COMPROMISE.

    It is so easy to give advise or tell someone to do something just because WE ARE NOT IN THOSE SHOES......and that is what these men who ask their wife to ALWAYS adjust do.

    Tara
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2010
  6. BeeAmma

    BeeAmma Silver IL'ite

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    At the risk of starting a east vs. debate I would say that discrimination against women happens in all cultures. There are cultural stereotypes in the US also and women are expected here also go cook, tend to kids etc.

    It seems like every thread is becoming an excuse to bash India and Indians and the way we do things.
     
  7. Tara09

    Tara09 New IL'ite

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    Yes, discrimination against women happens in every society. For a long time after declaration of Independence, women were not allowed to vote in the US.

    Keeping all that aside, I find compared to the family life of West, there is way too much discrimination against women in Indian society. I do not know much about other eastern cultures though, so cannot talk about them.
    There is so much hypocrisy in our society ....don't you agree??
     
  8. nmtkar123

    nmtkar123 Senior IL'ite

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    since women have to leave their home and maker her hubbys house a home ofcourse she is the outsider now. also tje rules that applied in the past have loosened up tremendously financial independence ofcourse! patience changes the rules on who's compromising i agree with a lot of u i feel whatever makes it work is worth it we shud not weigh it and compare and compromise comes in diff shapes and sizes at diff times!
     
  9. Malavika81

    Malavika81 Bronze IL'ite

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    Whoa, why are we bringing discrimination against women worldwide into this debate? This has to do with why women have to make compromises most of the time and I said it is culture specific. In most other societies, the compromises need to come from both sides to make the marriage work. And as an adult, you are solely responsible for making or breaking your marriage. There is no peer pressure or parental pressure in lot of societies to stay in lousy marriages or make unreasonable compromises just for the sake of staying married.
    Every time India is cited as an example is not bashing India and Indians and it is only so if you perceive it or make it to be as such.
     
  10. riya123

    riya123 Gold IL'ite

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    I think people of previous generations (parents, grand parents) still harbour the notion that 'Man is the protector of the Family'.. But it is not the truth anymore..
    Even a woman earns and can live independently.. Those days women were not as empowered as women today are.. So probably they would be advising so..
    Ultimately it is upto the woman to make or not to make unreasonable compromises and make the marriage work.. She is an adult and has to make her own decisions and not go blindly by advises.. While making compromises lots of things have to be considered like the social stigma with divorce, the children and their future..
    Still you can't put up the crap, even the court cant stop you from separating..
    You are made to compromise as long as you are letting them to force it on you..
    Finally you have to empower yourself and know the right from wrong..
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2010

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