Why do we become impatient as we grow older?

sumee · Apr 19, 2013

Penning my thoughts at 11.15 P.M IST: bowdown
I wonder about this because I am known to be patient personified, calm, cool someone who has a never say die attitude ( am I boasting? maybe:rotfl. )
But today as I am growing older, instead of being patience personified, I am finding my impatience level has increased leading to irritability and snapping at people( more so at (my dear poor husband) for no fault of his :rant. reasons for my quick temper? No answer.Still searching
Here is one example: Question:
Why can’t people stick to time when they invite us for parties?:bowdown
We especially us Indians(myself included) know well that if the party time is 7 P.M it will start by 9 P.M latest ,I mean fashionably late you know. Once upon a time I did not mind waiting an hour even if I reached the venue early, after all it was time to meet the few on time people who are there:hiya, chitchat, but today I feel my patience limit has become zero. Whenever I have to go to a party,where I find I am one of the early birds(yes you get fresh vadas and tidbits to eat ) but I tend to lose my patience, inwardly mutter something negative about the hosts for not being there on time. I find my interest to chitchat has also got reduced???Now why?????I Am impatient to say Hi and a Bye!!!!! and leave.Yeh kya ho raha hai??:bonk
Or when I am multitasking or when I am on a tight schedule, expecting the day to pass within only a few short minutes of busyness and chaos. Doing multiple things and finally leaving number of things half done. Why? Main Aisi Kyon Hoon??????:hide:
Because of this I am finding that I am gradually losing my comic sense, becoming serious, trying to find fault in situations where there is no fault.

Hormonal imbalance: Nah!!!I don’t think that’s the only reason.:spin

I think one reason can be there comes a stage in a woman’s life when she feels she is taken for granted by here dearest and nearest, she feels negleted that no one gives her the importance to what she says, she feels her feelings and thoughts don’t matter to her family or the society. In other words she feels sidelined. This perhaps can lead to an anger pressure building inside her, whereby slowly as she grows older, her calm and patient manner starts changing because she too wants to be recognized as an important decision maker among her people , wanting that appreciation and respect she richly deserves.Once the pressure valve bursts she changes to become someone who in general is angry with the world around her. This is my viewpoint( after putting my thinking cap)
So am I the only one who is changing with age or in general every women undergo these phases of feeling impatient, self-pity and self exploration. In fact what is it that make us lose control and angry with the world in general?????
I am still searching for an answer……

satchitananda · Apr 20, 2013

Sumee, for some of us, it is the other way round. We are born impatient, but then have Patience thrust upon us as we grow older.

Mindian · Apr 20, 2013

Very interesting sumee I thought I had learnt to be patient with age but NOOO it never seems to last somehow.
One thing I notice is I am impatient when hungry and tired ... maybe instead of counting till ten or drinking a glass of water I must have a full meal and then tackle any issue?:hide:

manjukps · Apr 20, 2013

Nice thought sumee. But now you have your thinking cap on, you know the root. There are three things by which we get affected
1. Things under our control
Better time management, prioritizing, delegation, some times we need to let go too.:my2cents

2. Acts of others which we can control to only some extent
Our immediate reaction is anger. But just go away from that place. To near and dear we can talk, make them understand when we are calm:notthatway:. Sometimes it works out, sometimes it may not. Do what you could do, beyond that stop the expectation and accept their nature to the extent acceptable. After this point your anger is justified.

3. Things beyond our control.
No way you have control over this. At The given example you couldn't have had any control over your host, if bus or trains are delayed it is beyond your control. For such things don't blame yourself by getting angry. All you can do is consider other solutions. :cool2:

I have been practicing the above points. To an extent it has reduced my unnecessary anger. During Harmonic mood swings I loose brains but had prepared my DH after few sessions of explanations. To kids I get angry, but I explain why I got angry tell them their fault, if I am at fault I say sorry.

But don't think that I am a patient personified. Is it not easier to tell than do;-)

Regards
Manjukps

plakshmi · Apr 20, 2013

hi

of late, i am facing the oppsoite problem. i do not get anger at all. i do not know why? what is this kind of symptom. i do not show much reaction too in my face. everything i keep within me. is it due to yoga.

yesterday i went to meet my friend,she told me to wait near the bus stand and she will pick me up within 5 min. but she came after 15 min. generally everyone will be short tempered or irritated but i was so cool but she asked me sorry but i did not show up my feelings or reaction is it good? i am wondering....
for the past 2 or 3 years i have changed like this. and people taking it as granted what to do?

swapnikaayer · Apr 20, 2013

Dear friend,

The same happens with many people especially with women. So do not think that its happening with you.

Observe a 6 month old baby, when baby wants to cry.. baby cries wholeheartedly.. when baby wants to smile...baby smiles wholeheartedly.. Baby doesnot have any ego, emotions, anger, self esteem, self respect etc.
When we grow older, our 'ego' 'self esteem' 'self respect' all these subtle features of our personality grow with relatively higher pace. Adding fuel to the fire we get married at that phase of life. Where our MIL, FIL DH etc expect us to be an individual with absolutely zero ego, temper etc..

Marriage makes our life as a substation (electrical) , where so many transmission lines are connected to that. For me all major lines are major relationships. Again they are interconnected to smaller lines etc...
But the 'Power' (electricity) is the main factor which makes real sense of substation. When there is no power, the lines have no use. Power is like a love and affection in our life.
Like a substation we should receive love and transmit love to be healthy and lively.
Otherwise there will be sparks and short circuits. Some times, it may burst as well...

But we need not lose hope. The life has just began. We have to mould it carefully..
Watch good comedy serials or movies daily. Laugh as many times as daily. That keeps away our anger, tensions, irritations etc..
Spend time with those persons who give you good recognition, respect your thoughts, understands your emotions, accept your feelings... Its good and lucky if your husband is a good friend. Even otherwise there would be people around us who can be good to us.
Slowly regain your confidence levels.. Once you settle with such confidence automatically you can see the change in all your parties...
Seriousness, anger, tensions, etc.. reflect your insecurity to adjust with other people..
Remember, Confidence is measured with your smile..
The more you smile in the parties reflect higher confidence levels..

All the best...

Swapnika