This is running on my mind always , to the extent where I am hating arranged marriages . How we decide our future in an hr ( where we are asked to talk to guy for about 10 mins of allowed ) and next moment , if we nod yes and both the families agree , all will go in blink of an eye . How to believe the person whom we are getting married to ? How do we know the information that they shared is genuine ? In my case , the whole family made the situation out of my mother who could not speak much and having my father passed away in just few months ago. Only to know that what they share is false after marriage including my husband tortured me in my first year of marriage . Fast forward it is 7 years and have 6 years old kid and I aborted 2nd kid 2 years ago because I had no trust in him in taking care of us and no trust in the relationship . now that we live in Different countries , it’s time for us to take decision . I am used to managing alone since day1 of marriage due to necessity , I had no option Nor I was brought up like that . So I learnt everything By myself doing everything . From teaching kid , taking her out , home stuffs , financially planning ( just with my income) , kids education and my stuffs . I am surprised sometimes how strong I am . But I really become mad and get exhausted . He loves daughter and my duaghter too loves her father. Nd he is ready to do anything for her . But he cares and loves me . But he does not want to involve me financially and he spends for his family - I don’t have problem but their parent spend lavishly without thinking twice or asking for the price so I tel him we are struggling for single penny here , they neither saved single penny Nor anything no owned house also, but I come from wealthy family and this surprises me , thinking how Long I should take care mysef and duaghter , he is not even spending or planning for our future . He lives in motto of spending whatever is in his pocket , getting luxury gifts to his family member - he used to do it for me in beginning and I said I don’t need that and you need to save so he stopped getting it , I don’t know what to do ? I have asked through his family ( they act as if they don’t care ) - his unmarried sister stay with his parents so he spends for her from buying car to her overseas trips. he never discusses with me anything or financially They don’t have own house not educated but the way they represent themselves surprised me, we family just opposite to it , my parents never showcased themselves even though they were wealthy , but this family always talking nonexistent things to get people respect . Whenever I ask him what are your plans , he says nothing you know best you let me know what you want I will give you or seduce me or love me then I will observe you for months then I will decide , it’s gone like this from day 1 , and he will come back to me says see you did this so I am not comfortable discussing with you and we don’t have that relationship. I feel most of the times lonely , I never discussed anything with me whenever I felt someone’s shoulder to lean on , I am the eldest in my family , we wanted to see proposal for my sisters and brother he never helped us in anything , I remember he had/has pandit to whom he relied on and took me also once , he believe in hims strongly aNd I asked him to check about my sisters birth chart analysis , he didn’t respond at all . He is not good relationship with my family also because he was stalking on us when they visited me Nd my mom forgive and ask us to get adjusted and go on which he knows very well . But how Long I should suffer like this , struggling alone now that I am in different country , thanks to my company i got the opportunity to come to different country and he is living back in another country . I am very Peaceful except I am getting exhausted doing all alone and managing kid , home and work . I need a partner whom I can rely on and get help . I am in my early 30’s , and he’s quite senior to me , should I stay in this relationship . Infact I had put up my profile on matrimonial sites , I had people contacted me , never made an attempt to talk to them and I ignored them . Sometimes I feel , is the second marriage for people who have good connection and wise parents ? I did not mean my mother is not wise , she is wise in managing all alone but when it comes to marriage , she wants to go arranged marriage and whoever guy say YES , she did not even ask or think how will my duaghter live , she knew we girl earn , and get married and have kids immediately and if the husband does not support it is ok and adjust and move on . I think of what is this ? Is it papam to born as a girl such families ? People like my husband make use of it , brainwash such people .