Why Do Husbands Blindly Support Their Wives?

IL friends know my relatives issues…

support is needed but why blind support?

My fil blindly supports my mil and so my opinions are always drowned when they gang up.I suffered a lot because of this..

my co sister schemes against me with my cousin and humiliated me and I tolerated so that family won’t get separated.My bro in law blindly supported her and put me down..

Same with my uncle .My aunty always puts me down using my past mistakes and if I stand up for myself..he takes her side and humiliates me..

Another uncle also the same..


I understand we have to be supportive of our spouses be it husband or wife but why does only blindly support? Their better half is not god.They might be wrong too..why put down someone else to support their spouse?

Why can’t people take a step back and analyze situations a bit before blindly supporting their spouse?It is not fair to the third person..

 

I think being neutral and analyzing is good before placing blame on the third person. If the spouse is right one can support but normalizing support even if the spouse is wrong is not correct.support is expected but not at the cost of hurting someone else blindly and this should not be normalized.True support is fixing issues and analyzing so that mistakes won’t be repeated again and again.Everytime my mil knows her husband will yell at me if I voice even a basic opinion.how many dil’s suffer? And vice versa.same with my co sister. Myself nor my husband do not blindly support each other.It’s not that we don’t love one another but the hurt one causes to the third person without knowing the truth because we need to support our better half is not right. One needs to make sure before putting down others.

 

Thanks dear for the reply.true

 

Just out of curiosity..be it the husband or wife..

hypothetically let’s say if the spouse is wrong..
Is it expected to support the spouse even if they are wrong?

 

My husband maintains a middle ground and is respectful both to me and the relatives.He also expresses politely if am right and if am wrong and they yell..he respectfully disagrees and not yells.

it is not my perception and I would appreciate if you would stop blaming me.Every thread it is always this way.It’s not always about my self esteem.I know how far I have come.Not every person who has family issues are dealing with self esteem.there is also something called gaslighting.Don’t always keep talking like this.I don’t appreciate it.

it’s always a hot and cold relationship with us.Am not saying you are bad or wrong but I just dont seem to vibe.

I know what am saying and it took two decades to figure out where I went wrong,what I can change.

They are no angels. They were wrong.

My biggest mistake is asking in a forum about my issues when people don’t know the real deal and truth. It all makes sense now.

when people tight next to me don’t u deter and how will stranger’s understand? I am the one to be blamed.

I am extremely sorry for all this.Will not ask about my issues to Il’s anymore.Now I know am going to get more backlash for this but it’s okay I deserve it for not knowing to handle this myself.

I will take a break from
IL .Take care all.