Why are people NICER to arrogant people??

I think it was to seek approval! We indians from childhood have always struggled for approval from parents, teachers n everyone! I think its what triggers our action to make nice with them so they dont take a dig at us and gv us their approval! I use to do the same n den i dug deeper to see i dont need any validation!!

 

This actually works two opposite ways:

1.Buttering, lowering your self esteem for power or money ONLY. Thats cheap.

2. To ridicule a rude stranger on his rudeness. Once I went to a dentist, the receptionist was soo rude, not that I wanted anything out of her but I continued to talk toooo polite. Next time onwards she was toooo polite..this works!

 

Since the approval angle has already been handled, I'd simply suggest you prune your fb such that only your real friends are on your list.

I came down from 500+ to about 100 in a day. It made fb more meaningful to me to have updates about people I really know and care about than be seeing vacation pictures of someone I vaguely remember from 3rd standard... Some people sent requests again but I just ignored them...

 

This reminds me of our last encounter with an EB bill man at our house. He was plain arrogant. That particular day, our front gate was locked inside for whatever the reason. He rang the bell for a few seconds, and we rushed to the gate to open it. Within that few seconds, he became infuriated, and scolded my mom with loud voice as if she had done a great mistake by locking our gate inside.

My mom tried to apologize, and pleased him. He continued to be rude with her, and for my surprise, my mom was supper nice with that man only to avoid further damage. But I could not accept this anymore (as I was inside my washroom, but I could sense what was going on outside), I came out and gave him back as to "it is our right to close or leave our gate open. If he wants us to leave it open at a particular time, then he must let us know in advance. He can't expect us give him a red carpet welcome if he comes all of a sudden". I even warn him to report about his misbehavior at the EB office.

Then only I learnt that he did the same for the last couple of times for various reasons, and this time our locked gate has become a reason.

People treat rude ones nicely only to avoid further problems. It is purely their inability to handle rude people tactfully. This will indirectly motivate the rude ones as if everyone is under them

 

So true SGBV. I used to see my husband do that with rude people - taxi drivers grumbling about the short fare would get an extra tip; grumpy fellow at the post office would be rewarded with a million sorries and pleases and thank-yous; a guy who routinely spoke I'll of a "woman's ability to share" while landing up unexpectedly at dinner time would be appeased by the wife - me - being asked to make extra food just as I'm about to sit and eat!

I on the other hand give a withering look to such taxi drivers and refuse to leave until the last penny of change is in my hand; plainly tell any rude CS person, "that's rude" and write complaints about terrible service; and told I the guy directly that as a person who doesn't enjoy cooking I would appreciate it if he would check with me a few hours beforehand so I could let him know if it were convenient. My husband especially in the third instance was lamenting about how I was "ruining" my own name. My reply - I don't care for approval from inconsiderate freeloaders; if it isn't working for me, i would rather nip it in the bud.

 

Even I can't figure out rude and arrogant people are given special treatment. I left a watsapp group because of rude cousins. I tried being nice but that did not work. So I just stopped communicating with them. But all my other family members continue to try to please them.