Whose Permission ?

Hmm..Permission,permission,permission.
This word has been tickling my mind since marriage.:bonk
Prior to marriage i was very courageous and used to stay alone at home even if my parents were out of station, i used to pay my exam fees, apply for all the exams, go shopping on my own , travel alone , go to market,store , bicycle to tution etc etc.But after marriage my DH tells to inform him if i go even to my adjacent flat. :confused2::rantBut if i inform him so, he tells why do u go now.Go later.
Is it INFORMATION OR PERMISSION???? :bang

 

We discuss abt things mutually and do them.

 

Dear AC
Permission....when u put it quite like that...it doesn't sound very flattering..but when I really think about it...
We do talk to each other before doing anything other than routine things..
It could be simple things.... .."Feel like a girls night out / I need to get shoes"
or something more complex.."I want to spend time with my parents/I think I want to take a break from work"
Not always the consent is instantaneous or easy..we sometimes discuss things to death ...
have long arguments...reach an impasse even
but we wont take that next step without a nod from the 'other'.

No... he wont question/stop me if I ever decide to do things without informing him
.. ...
I am not afraid of him..(he isn't scared of me ....really he isnt )
I am completely financially independent......quite capable of taking decisions..I do day in and day out at work
Yet I need his approval for everything related to me ,my home and kids... so does he...
My mom often jokes..ur hubby wont buy kothamalli karivepalai (cilantro,curry leaves) without a 15 min call to u.:rotfl
Is it permission..is it information ..is it seeking consent... I dont know...What ever it is I love the way things are between us.

 

Isn't the line thin between cosulting/ discussing/permission/informing ? I think so.

 

Informing - as he (DH) has termed it, is permission for all practical purposes as it is subject to his subjective satisfaction, the primary yardstick of determination being my safety (includes our DS too). He rarely gives me a blank no, but there were such instances before which I can condone as I think he had a very fair reason to object.

I was brought up as a girl incapable of anything. I was supposed to inform my parents of every small step I take. I had people watching over me all the time. Comparatively my DH is more flexible, understanding and has helped me being more capable in doing things.

Despite being a SAHM, I have a say in all our big decisions in spending money and have a free hand in spending money. I dont even ask him if I have to buy something. He respects me in all decisions we take, though he makes passing comments like "I am asking ur opinion because u happen to be my wife but it doesnt mean i am going to listen to u".

 

Like Chetavani said, my condition is the same.
I was a very strong independent girl from my school days and my parents never felt I needed all the advices and observance of what I do and what I don't.
But after marriage, life has taken a very nasty curve for me. My husband is a MCP and wants to keep an eye on everything I do, right from my cooking, purchasing and all. He wants me to do everything as he things if a lady approches anyone work is getting done sooner then the male. But all the time he wants me to check with him, take his advice ..... God i m tired of my life.

 

maybe u'll will laugh at me, but i m a working woman and just too weak in arguing, hence my curretn condition

 

Practically I prefer my wife to work and be independent financially so that she doesn't have to depend on me or seek permission to get even the basic needs of her fulfilled...but yes when it comes to big investment it has to be mutual..I have seen my mom even asking for 100 rs in the past from dad for whatever she would want and that should never be the case i guess.