Discussion in 'Relationship With In-Laws' started by arch1984, Sep 3, 2015.
thanks ladies, for the info. :thankyou2:
Custom or no custom this one should be a no brainer--- as a couple you two decided to have kids . So its logical that the expenses are borne by the couple... And why do extended family have a say on expenses ( yes once you are married both sets of parents are outside the immediate family unit which consists of the couple and their (to be) progeny) is always beyond my understanding. As women we should learn to put our foot down on unwanted interference and learn that there is no miss. popularity award in life!
Wow!! Seriously? ? Ur husband said nothing?????? He is ok with all this nonsense? ? If he can't pay for the delivery why make a child?? I am so sorry for u but u need to stop this bull××××. No need for ur parents to pay. In fact , u shud get some good gift for them since they came and helpEd you .and that too from ur dhs credit card.
If I were you ,I wouldn't bring my parents.Why do they need to pay flight charges and they are not train charges.
Either you go to India to deliver baby or they don't fly with there own money.
You get strong and try to handle yourself,anyway you stopped working so probabaly you can handle by hiring someone for sometime,.
I am not understanding why all this is an issue IF the couple were responsible enough before pregnancy to get health insurance. And IF one cannot afford the copay's if you have health insurance, seems you really can't afford a baby. If it is a question of other spending for a life style or family commitments, maybe you need to figure out what is most important.
I am quite shocked that you want advice in this regard. You are living in USA, a working women, Why can't you speak for yourself. Even you were not working, your parents are not supposed to pay anything. Just give a blast to your husband and in laws. How silly is this to make your father go to your in laws house for giving money? I think you made your father feel very sad. A baby is a gift from god. You should be happily spending money. After all they are your parents. They sacrificed everything for you and in turn you can't even speak up for them. First of all you should not have let your father give money to your husband. I think you better open up and speak to your in laws and ask them not to interfere in your life anymore. If they still continue with these stupid demands, you better start saving up your own money and not spend even a single penny for your in laws and even for your husband. Your husband should be bold enough to face his parents. Even if I live in India, I will not let my parents pay for my delivery expenses. For gods sake, don't feel weak and pathetic for being born as a women and you better feel confident and set a good example for future generations.
So why is ur DH discussing these things with ur inlaws ?
Just a simple "Everything taken care of by insurance ma nothing to worry" would have sufficed. Why is he talking about copays ?
Only when the we women take off the blinds and see the problem for what it is.
Why did ur DH accept it?
Inlaws are able to do it because ur DH is allowing them to. Rel forum will make demons out of ur PIL because its convenient and vents provide temp respite.
U want to solve it take it up with ur DH.
You should have put your foot down and not allow your father go through the insults of your in-laws. Never allow anyone from your in-laws family or husband to insult your parents just because they are girl's parents. Unless you gather the courage and act on it, this issues will keep coming and the demands will keep increasing.
If your MIL keeps saying, we did this, we did that for our daughters- tell her that it's very nice of them but your parents have raised you to be financially independent and therefore, you are capable of handling your and your family's needs. Your parents will give only blessings and any gifts if they feel so, not based on such cheap demands.
Exactly my thoughts..!!!
Ohhh ..This is 2015.And your husband should be shameless to tell your parents to deal with his parents in money matters .
You both are responsible for bringing the child into this world and who pays for expenses is none of anybody's business (neither your parents nor his parents).
Ideal situation would have been like someone said earlier , bring the parents (if they are willing to) and send them back with gifts.