Who Normally Bears The Cost Of Sil's Travel?

It depends SM.
How badly you resent this and how much anger you have. Resentment and bitterness during pregnancy are not good either. It is as damaging as a fight .
So weigh the pros and cons .

If you feel letting him know of your feeling will reduce the bitterness ....then think about it.
If you feel he will have a fuse blown and will result in long term problem ...then think about that too.
Probably sitting down and calmly telling him how you feel about this and telling him you don't want to have a fight but letting him know because you don't want to keep the anger inside you because of the baby will help you get your anger out.It may atleast stop the unnecessary expenditure and future sponsored visit of the other one.

But you know him better......weigh the pros and cons of this.

May be you should let him to take care of the khatirdaari (hospitality) and seva himself.Let him know your limits and how much he should expect from you.

 

Hey sm consider money as a petty thing when it comes to your health and your baby's well being..let it get lost on those self centred people..don't raise this issue with your h and waste your energy..you know his response anyways...
Stop worrying about future and regretting about past..live the moment..your children are the biggest invaluable gift god has given you..cherish them..whenever you get a negative thought think about them and their unconditional love..it will help you sail through..atleast this is how I affirm myself when I start worrying too much
I have my dearest parents, my lovable sibling and most precious baby with me presently but still keep worrying about mil and h issues..so I have religiously started working on my worries..whenever my mind starts controlling me I consciously replace it with a positive thought..my big hugs to you and your baby..hope she has started making movements now..common cheer up dear☺☺

 

OP- there is no general rule. It depends. If it is a treat from your family to SIL's family, you might want to bear all the expense (that's what a gift is), if it is their initiative and want to travel, they should buy their tickets. In any case, your husband shouldn't be one deciding which way to go, you both should decide as a couple.
I have had my friend over (from West coast to East coast of the USA) and recently took my sister to Europe, all expenses paid by my husband and I but in both cases we decided as a team and he knew how important it was for me.
Sorry, I can't help you much but it might help if you just think it as a present from your family to her family (albeit expensive). You van talk to your husband about not buying expensive gifts because this is a gift (experiences are better gifts than stuff anyway).
Congratulations on the baby!

 

Well since u ask about the norm - ur SIL and her husband pay for their airtickets. you guys take care of their boarding and lodging while they stay with you - I am assuming its a short period since you said it was a "vacation". They treat you back with goodies from India and you also buy them a return gift and they also help you with household chores - this is the norm.

however if things don't go by norm, this is not the time for you to pick this battle. If I were you, I would tell my husband what is on my mind knowing fully aware he is not going to listen to me - however i will have the satisfaction of expressing myself. I would also tell him that I am OK with him choosing to do whatever he desires but he has to know what is on my mind. And leave it at that.

Enjoy your pregnancy and do not let them know that you and your husband aren't a team regarding their visit. Play along happily and rest well. All the best.

 

As per the books SIL and her husband should bear the expenses. But mostly in depends on family dynamics. My SIL has never visited us, but whenever she visits my in-laws with kids my ILs pay for her trip, her husband pays only if he is travelling along .

 

I do not know whether this will work for everyone but I have a smart aunt (uncle's wife) in the family. She has done a lot for the family and put up with some crap too but gives it back whenever she can.
Since her H is like your DH-meaning if she questions his "helping" his family, thinks that she is against them/does not like them-she attacks it in a different way.

She makes it a point to subtly inform the family members' spouses or PILs (in your case it would be your SIL's DH) of the struggles she is going through. Like "Oh, even though both are working now, finances are tight with things getting expensive these days..." Usually if the spouse is a decent person they will take the hint and insist on paying for at least part of the expenses.
However, one should be careful to ensure that it doesn't seem like you are cribbing or complaining outright.

I agree with a PP that you should pick your battles for peace of mind, but IMO unless you let some steam off now and then, you might end up very bitter and resentful later on.

H&H 9 months to you!

 

Dear OP,

If i were in your place, i will let it go this time. anyhow your husband has spent lot of money time already on their visa etc, if you create any scene, your SIL will get chance and blame will come on you that you treated bad on their first trip. so all the hardwork etc already done will go in vain.

next time you plan trip and she has to bear the expenses. 100% express to SIL that you are also interested in visiting USA, and NY etc cities and after your delivery you gonna come. tell your husband and see what he says.

I had similar situations almost 10 times. My SIL comes every year atleast for 15 days to my home, not filght tickets but we spent lot of money to her, restaurants, shopping, some trip during that 15 days etc. I expected atleast she will pay for food when we take trip, but she is orthodox type that she didnt pay, coz she came our house we have to pay 100%.
One time she came during my pregnancy, it was tough to cook being pregnant so made husband do more work. i did what i can and just kept quite.

so this year i insisted and we went to SIL house, i talked nice and positive way expressed to husband that i dont want to sit home but go some place when we visit, so husband and she planned resort etc and she did pay for all. so i am sure she would have understood how much it costed us all these 10 trips when she visited.