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who is right - in laws or DH?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by jhalli27, Feb 10, 2010.

  1. jhalli27

    jhalli27 Bronze IL'ite

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    dh runs his business and im working. combined, we both earn 25k each - totaling 50k. we have a 2 month old DD.
    dh wanted to start a business. but only fil had the funds. mil says she fought with fil (who was against dh's idea) and after 1 yr of arguments/fights, fil agreed. business started finally and is in its 4th yr. due to various reasons, its going only ok and not 'wonderful'. dh's reasons - labour issues. mil/fil's reasons - dh's carefree attitude. due to this differnce in opinion, all of them - mil, fil and dh are not happy wih each other. result - in-laws are alsways dissatisfied and complain abt how dh is not 'working hard'. dh is bugged and says in-laws are constantly interfering by telling him what to do.if there is no labour - what can he do. work is obviously hit.
    my take:
    in laws: i feel they are right in getting worried as its fil's retirement money. thing is fil slogged in life and made money. so both mil and fil expect the same level of dedication from dh. they expect to wake up and be at work(45 kms away from home - one side) by 7.30 am. and also work on sundays. but dh is not like fil. so i feel its wrong to expect dh to be as perfect as fil - because 2 individuals are just not the same.
    dh: cannot wake up and go early - gets tired as travelling 90 kms every day is not a joke. does not work on sundays as its the only day to rest. leaves home by 8 am and enters note before 9.30 pm (after going to gym). so i do understand that he is doing his best.. but sometimes i too feel that mil is right and that dh is not serious. my reasons for these are - we already have a baby and have to start saving for her AND for ourselves. no matter what anyone tells him, he is just quite and doesnt react. at times if we bug him too much he gets wild. but mostly he just walks off..
    i really dunno what to think. i dont want to bug his like his parents do. but at the same time i want him to be responsible. he is 29 and me 27. do i have to wait for him to grow more mature and understand by himself??
    pls help and guide...
     
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  2. Priya16

    Priya16 IL Hall of Fame

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    jhalli27,

    What kind of business is that?Is there any way you can guys move somewhere near or half a distance.I can see both sides of the situation.
    Your husband might be really tired but on the other hand business needs 24/7 effort .Is there any way your in-laws can run the business on sunday?
     
  3. jhalli27

    jhalli27 Bronze IL'ite

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    dh didnt want to stay alone since day one. then i got preganant and that was the reason not to move (even though i was ready to do the needful). then the excuse was baby is born. so it never happened.
     

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