1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice

Who Is More Helpful To Others - You Or Your Spouse?

Discussion in 'Friends & Neighbours' started by Rihana, Jun 17, 2024.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,635
    Likes Received:
    30,538
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    Who do you think is more helpful to friends, neighbors, relatives, and even strangers — you or your spouse?

    Who's the first to enthusiastically say "Yes, sure, no problem!" to help requests and goes above and beyond to assist others?

    You are more helpful, spouse is more helpful, or are both at the same level?
    .
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
    Loading...

  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,635
    Likes Received:
    30,538
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    In our case, I am easily the more helpful one. Spouse is also quite helpful to others, but in a more balanced way. I will go out of my way to help others, will inconvenience myself or us to help others. He will help but not if it is a hassle for us. More than once when he has told me I am over-helping and will regret it, he has turned out to be right. LOL.
     
    Thyagarajan likes this.
  3. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,751
    Likes Received:
    2,578
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    I am clearly the more helpful one between the two of us. He will be helpful if it is convenient to him and does not have to go out of the way. However, from my side i feel i need to do the best i can, especially when asked for help. He feels I am too timid to be able to be upfront and refuse. I beg to differ and I dont argue and continue to do the best i can in the circumstances. Even a question of accepting invites to functions/marriages etc, he will only accompany me if it is convenient to him. From myside, i feel it is it is my duty to respond positively when invited except when genuinely not able to attend. This was often a point of dispute earlier, but now -after 43 years of married life , I go ahead and inform of my intention and he could follow or not as deemed fit.
     
    Thyagarajan and Rihana like this.
  4. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

    Messages:
    12,635
    Likes Received:
    30,538
    Trophy Points:
    540
    Gender:
    Female
    Oh yes, I remember those years. Get the kids ready and also get Mr. ready and willing to go. But after the pandemic, I started accepting invites to functions, get-togethers, and started actually traveling when friends say "you should visit us." As a result, I have visited at least 10 U.S. cities and six different countries myself. Mr. is welcome to come along, and does sometimes. I also joined local groups and help with organizing events, he grumbles when I want to take things like folding chairs, tables from home, but will help with loading. : ) After reading the U.S. Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy's warning about the loneliness epidemic, I have become even more social. : ) My WhatsApp now needs organizing, and I have to pin family WhatsApp at the top for easier access. : )
     
    joylokhi likes this.
  5. joylokhi

    joylokhi Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,751
    Likes Received:
    2,578
    Trophy Points:
    285
    Gender:
    Female
    Thats a very effective article on loneliness and i feel , would do good for all to read.
     
    Rihana likes this.
  6. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    12,112
    Likes Received:
    12,919
    Trophy Points:
    615
    Gender:
    Male
    It varies between me & spouse. Some times she is better than I & someother time i am better than her in lending a helping hand. When i try to be generous on my own then i must get prepared for her criticism. It is vice versa a while later. That seems to be love in magic. But luckily we check ecah other in a large measure that we do not end up lose much from our stock.

    When help needed is x units i would release half of x in instalments but she would do it in one go which may easily exceed x units.
    It reminds me of a joke:
    When an ingrid lady with an infant over her shoulder begs for food at the entrance to their bungalow, the DIL looking in the direction where her Mil was said loudly , “ hey! There is no practice in this home to give alms or food to beggars. Please go to next house!” . When that poor lady was about to move, an enraged MIL came forward and calledback the poor lady and said to Mil , " in this house no one has right to say so". The poor woman was glad to here that and expected food. But then she heard the elder woman (MIL) saying, " I only have the right to say so. No food. No money. Go to next house".
     
    Rihana and joylokhi like this.
  7. Viswamitra

    Viswamitra Finest Post Winner

    Messages:
    13,594
    Likes Received:
    24,456
    Trophy Points:
    538
    Gender:
    Male
    My wife wins handsdown if there is a review who helps more. In fact, I built helping tendency only by watching her thoughts, words, and actions. She is full of love to help anyone who is in need. She treats everyone including strangers with respect giving credence only to the age group they belong. Whenever there is a major event/function at home, after all the guests partake lunch and leave, she always have lunch with those maids who helped for the event. Every time, a maid seeking help either for their own education or their childrens' education, she was the first one to help.
     
    Rihana and Thyagarajan like this.

Share This Page