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Who All Know Your Financial Net Worth?

Discussion in 'Money Matters' started by Rihana, Mar 25, 2021.

  1. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Do you share information about your finances with family or friends? How much do you share? Overall goals and some milestones? Salary? Portfolio figures?

    Other than you and your spouse, who knows the most about your finances?
    - Parents
    - Parents-in-law
    - Siblings
    - Close friends
    - Other friends
    - Co-workers
    ..
    ..
     
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  2. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Quite a while back, my close friend and I were talking about college expenses. As our kids were classmates, she asked me, 'How much do you have saved so far for college?' I was taken aback at the directness.

    This and other conversations made me realize that even the idea of sharing such information with others is so alien to me.
     
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  3. sonal1611

    sonal1611 Gold IL'ite

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    My parents know same as I know about my finances but the problem is they are not much interested and remember half of what I inform them. So can be said 70%.

    Spouse knows may be 80%.

    Few friends know few investments as we discuss things (like loan/shares/mutual funds and other investment options)

    Like I started Sukanya Samriddhi for my daughter , so my frnds know I started as we discussed.

    I m thinking in this pandemic situation , that I should prepare 1 spreadsheet and note every investment ... every login details for bank / cc .. all financial information to be put somewhere securely so It can help our loved ones in any unforeseen situations.
     
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  4. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    No one knows about our financial details outside of the both of us and our tax person. I would consider sharing if immediate family asked but not with anyone else, least of all coworkers .
     
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  5. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    Well..she maybe be a close friend but that’s crossing the boundary I felt.

    Salary ,finances are always personal.
    I hate when people ask others about how much they earn..


    I do know my net worth but no way will I let anyone know.

    you are right in feeling taken aback..
     
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  6. Hopikrishnan

    Hopikrishnan Platinum IL'ite

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    that kind of direct question is only in some cultures. Sort of like asking how much you make in salary [many other Asian country people also ask that like it is a natural thing to ask]. American-desi's who had naturalized in all respects, cannot deal with that.
    We don't share financial information with anyone, except the joint-tax-filer and the heirs ( adult children).
     
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  7. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    H and I are the only people who knows what, where and when about the money. We do not have a tax person who we go back every year. We might share everything with the kids, but now they are too small.

    I think its fine to talk about salary, not the exact amount, but a ball park if the friends do same kind of job. I did that and I am glad I did that because when I applied for a job, i knew how much to ask for when it came to salary negotiation. I do not mind sharing the info, even if I earn less. We talk about college money with some of our friends, but not to the detail of how much money, again a ball park. We talk in general how much is needed, how much we could save, etc. This helps us because, we are own our own here and if they can shed some light into what we are doing wrong, its helpful and vice versa. This discussion is only with friends like family who we know for more than 10 years.
     
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  8. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    This is a very good and important point. My spouse is in a job where salary tables and everyone’s grade is public, so you can easily find out without having to ask or snooping. My job is more of a gray area. I learned the hard way after being hired that I could have asked for more and received it since they had left wiggle room in the offer. It is also more important for women since they often tend to be paid less than their male counterparts for the same positions.
     
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  9. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan IL Hall of Fame

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    It all depends upon age of the person, his or her real (!) marital status and the equation within family members and spouse.
    Certain amount of secrecy is warranted in specific situations or circumstances.

    There are greedy MILs who would grab DILs earnings by devious methods.
    So there is a need to disclose and the degree of disclosure depends on numerous factors within & outside the family.

    There is a possibility within few years of marriage, partner may change his character. (One may need to secretly save for her rainy days)

    But as for revealing salary and other income of assets to friends who bluntly put such questions better to deflect it smartly. The more you tell about your goof financial status, it would embolden them to demand or borrow from you under real or fictitious tales. Some people knowing in advance from you that you are likely to bequeath or getting huge windfalls, would try to seek loan or expect you to donate etc. Never Tom Tom even to closest about big monies that you have or going to have.

    A friend (25) of my son during casual conversation, asked me the amount of pension am drawing. I responded to him in presence of my son, “in what way this information is going to help you?”. A discomfort silence existed for a while. I saw my son’s eye brows knitting in wonder with my response. It helped him in later days as to what extent, when how and to whom to reveal personal data. As on date, I don’t know how much he or my SON IN LAW is making in a month..

    When I was about to get arrears of salary due to implementation of pay commission’s recommendations, three persons working close to me in office were seeking interest free loan from me. That includes my immediate boss! And it is anybody’s guess in that kind of scenario what would happen to your friendship?
    A matured LIC policy of substantial amount is due and the policy handed over to the agent P who happens to be my elder brother’s BIL. In connection with his sister’s marriage expenses, He desired interest free loan with a promise to refund within six months. It was a dharmasankad moment for me. His spinster sister learnt degree maths from me. I answered P, that funds already committed to my sister’s for her house construction.

    My dad helped a needy colleague for his handicapped daughter’s marriage. After a year when dad was in dire straits, when he demanded the friend and his son in law refused .
    Dad’s friendship of some forty or forty five years broken at once.
    Either give and forget or don’t give at all come what may. All troubles comes once you disclose openly or even in subtle manner.

    Life is like that. Manoeuvre manoeuvre tactfully diplomatically.

    GOD -You are Wealth & Money to everyone!
     
    Last edited: Mar 25, 2021
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  10. Angela123

    Angela123 Gold IL'ite

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    One thing that came out of me moving to the US is that I learned to say a firm NO, when someone asks me money. I used to feel bad keeping my own hard earned money.

    Glad @Rihana started this thread. How do anyone respond when relatives ask how much does it cost to buy the house you currently live in or probing to know the property value? We always feel we are constantly compared to brothers and sisters/ cousins to how much they make, how much we make, did they buy a house etc.
     
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