Which Syllabus In India Has No Memorizing

Discussion in 'Return to India' started by EagerForInfo, Mar 1, 2024.

  1. EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Gold IL'ite

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    Hello

    My daughter now 12 is born and brought up in USA. I feel she needs to grow up in India for sometime and it is already too late to take her back. However I still want to try.
    I think she can adjust in any school provided there is no memorizing or at least the minimal amount of memorizing. I am not interested in an international school as she will feel different from the local kids or everyone will know she is from USA and treat her differently. Can u please suggest a syllabus where she can adjust ?
     
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  2. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Nothing like that exists. It’s going to be obvious she’s from the US. Why do you want to disrupt your daughter’s life like this?
     
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  3. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Considering what a big change this will be for your daughter, the syllabus needing memorization is a trivial concern. There are more pressing issues like second language requirement and in some school a third language.

    What are the plans for her undergrad? If she goes back to the U.S., will you go with her? Will one parent move a year earlier to qualify for in-state tuition? Can you afford the higher out-of-state tuition for four years after working in India for a while? And what about your younger child? When the older one goes to college, what grade will the younger one be in? Can you afford under-grad college for both kids in the U.S.? If not, how will your older child handle getting into a good college in India, given how competitive it is? As she is already 12, you have to look into all these and have some tentative plans at least.

    Rather than saying no to memorizing and rejecting international schools, it's important to look into things like how NRI kids in India get into Indian colleges through something called DASA, and I read that the rules keep changing frequently.

    Any benefit you gain by she growing up there while she is 13-18 years should be compared to the reality of she being by herself in the U.S. while 18-22. And, as much as possible, try to keep things same for both kids. One going to college in U.S. and another in India can cause life long resentment.

    If the kid is under 8 years or so, you can adopt a "let's move to India, rest we will see later." As she is already 12, may be 13 by the time you move, you need to plan ahead.

    All talk of college in this post is referring to undergrad only.

    Raising a teenager is hard, no matter where you are or what background you're from. Moving to a different country might change the challenges a bit, but it's still going to be tough. The end result of the child's personality at 18 or 20 or 21, and the amount of heartache and tension the parent goes through generally remain similar.
     
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2024
  4. EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Gold IL'ite

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    There are lots of people who will face this situation especially for families who are in H1. I am surprised by your comment.
     
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  5. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Didn’t you say you and your parents are US citizens?
     
  6. EagerForInfo

    EagerForInfo Gold IL'ite

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    Yes I did. When you say I am ruining my kids life by taking them to India I am just wondering why you are saying that as there are tons of people on H1’s who will be in a situation where they NEED to take their kids to India at this age due to visa issues. What will be their plight ??

    Here I want to take my kids to India out of my personal interest as opposed to visa reasons that is the only difference.

    As I do have citizenship I had never thought about this and am just posting here for a quicker response.
     
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  7. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Where did I say you were ruining your child’s life? I said it will cause a disruption. And people on visas may not have a choice so their situation is not the same as yours.
     
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  8. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    I agree with others that a sudden change in your kids life at this stage may not have a good impact on your kid the way you prefer. Educational system and approach in India is very different and highly competitive. Are you considering moving back to India with all your family. Its not going to be easy, especially as the equation with kid / H is not very good, based on your post. Are you ready to commit 100%. Still its going to be very challenging to you and your dd. But it wont solve the issues you mentioned before. You need to build a happy peaceful and free environment for your kid so that there is proper communication, but I feel its lacking.

    A few families, I know moved back to India, their kids are fine as they are young <7yr. But, in my friends case, younger kid was ok, bit elder one 11 y was not all happy and was struggling a lot... So I feel, you should assess all pros and cons.
    In india too most kids have phones and moving back wont change it. So, you need to come up with effective ways to modulate it and build a good relationship with your daughter. First step is to start listening, then communicating in a calm tone, there are tools to limit it screen time. Too much criticism, negative approach etc drive them away. Add password to tablet so she has to approach you to start it , limit time using apps, if its PC, you can set up automatic shutdown in PC, there are tools by which you can control all screens or devices in your home using mobile. I noted your other post too. So, focus on building effective communication. In my experience, creating a comfort zone help them to open up, still at this stage these changes are expected. All we can do is to guide them and let them understand that we love them, but we don't support bad behavior.
     
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  9. Thoughtful

    Thoughtful Gold IL'ite

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    What do you think is the worst that could happen here? Sure the 11 yr old struggled in your example, but is that so bad. How is she now
     
  10. DDream

    DDream Finest Post Winner

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    Only OP knows her plans. I mentioned good cases too. Note easy to adjust especially with language, accent, social system, bullying etc.. Thats why a great support system, a comfortable home with freedom to express is needed. Some kids can adjust well but it depends on the personality of kid. We need to respect our kids and consider then as individuals with their own brain and mind. When they are in teens they are in a transitioning stage. If we cant understand our own child who will do that for them?

    Worst is depression.


    I noted this post from a teens point of view confirming views expressed here

    https://www.reddit.com/r/ABCDesis/comments/jaykxa/did_anyone_here_move_to_india_as_a_teen_and_hate/
     
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2024

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