1. How to Build Positivity in Married Life? : Click Here
    Dismiss Notice
  2. Would you like to join the IL team? See open jobs!
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Liked anything that you read here? You may nominate it as the Finest Posts!
    Dismiss Notice
  4. What can you teach someone online? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice
  5. If someone taught you via skype, what would you want to learn? Tell us here!
    Dismiss Notice

Which is better?

Discussion in 'Life Without Spouse' started by Raji11, Jun 28, 2010.

  1. Raji11

    Raji11 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Hi all.
    Im married for 3.5 years now and i have a 2 year old son.We are married in india and are in U.S from 3 years.My husband is in U.S from 5 years. Now i want to seperate from him through divorce.Im a house wife.I dont have any financial support. I want my baby with me.So i want financial support from him.So which one is better to get divorce.In India or U.S?Will there be any financial support from him if i get divorce in U.S?

    Thanks
     
    Loading...

  2. 1janavi

    1janavi Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    257
    Likes Received:
    10
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    Raji,
    Sorry to hear about the divorce plans.
    There has already been a thread in IL .Divorce - better in US or India?
    You can enter the text above in search window and find the thread.
     
  3. Raji11

    Raji11 New IL'ite

    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    My plan is to go to India after taking the divorce.Because i dont know driving.I cannot work.So i want money from him for my baby.My parents are also not well financially set to take care of me and my baby. So if i take divorce in US will the US court order my husband for my financial support. And if yes can i go to India with my baby or do i need to stay here in US. My husband is on EAD. Will the US courts allow my baby to stay with me?
     
  4. newbeginning

    newbeginning Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    124
    Likes Received:
    11
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    Raji11,

    Sorry about your situation. But seems like you have already made a firm decision about divorce.

    In your case, I feel it might be better in India. Not sure which state you reside in here....because the laws vary state to state here. Also if you want to hire a lawyer, do you have sufficient money for it here?

    From what I know:

    Baby custody - Since your baby is just 2 yr old...the chances of you getting the sole physical custody is more also here in US. In India its for sure you will get the baby.

    Financial support - if here the divorce decree might be issued sooner and you will get the settlement (if you are eligible) pretty soon. I am not sure about in India though.

    Good luck dear,
    NB
     
  5. MahimaKarthik

    MahimaKarthik New IL'ite

    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    hi
    Sorry to put my suggestions but why do u want a divorce ,have you tried hard to save your marriage ,its just a split second decision to break but please try and work out to save your marriage .Believe in God and trust yourself ,things might change for good .Please do think with a calm mind and leave your ego ,divorce is not the solution always .
    My good friend please think and decide calm.sorry I felt a need to give your a different perspective rather than taking immature decisions ,its been only 3 .5 yrs and take a chance give more time before you even think of a divorce.
    Your well wisher
    mahima Karthik
     
  6. 1janavi

    1janavi Bronze IL'ite

    Messages:
    257
    Likes Received:
    10
    Trophy Points:
    33
    Gender:
    Female
    Mahimakarthik,
    How do we know if raji11 is taking immature decisions when she hasnt disclosed anything about why she wants to divorce.Her only question was whether divorce is better taking in India or U.S
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2010
  7. RadiantCat

    RadiantCat Gold IL'ite

    Messages:
    1,724
    Likes Received:
    88
    Trophy Points:
    110
    Gender:
    Female
    Mahima, it is good read that you want to save the marriage. But saying immature decision is incorrect. People in my opinion don't file for divorce for coffee over tea issues. Had the OP divulged the exact issue, perhaps we can conclude the maturity level of handling the issue.

    1Janvi, we appear to be in same league :) :)
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2010
  8. SriVidya75

    SriVidya75 Platinum IL'ite

    Messages:
    7,302
    Likes Received:
    954
    Trophy Points:
    270
    Gender:
    Female
    Raji

    I have not seen you login back again after the last time you posted your query here. Hope you are going through the suggestions given to your query.

    Coming to your posts, As you have already decided your next steps and plan, one thing you have to understand is, think from his angle too. Dont just approach the whole divorce thinking, things will go your way. You both are married in India, but currently you both are in US. If you want to apply for divorce, you have to go to India, As you said, here in US you dont have money or you do not have any other contacts who can help you. but if your husband files for divorce in US, after coming to know about your decision, you sure you have to answer his petition.

    Also why do you want to have full custody of the kid? any particular reason? Whatif your husband contests your appeal on full custody and he wants to have shared custody. Even if you apply for divorce in US/India, did you ask yourselves what if he does the above? how would you tackle it?

    Is this decision of divorce mutual or only from your side? because if its not mutual you might also have to deal with some anger from his side and things might not be hte same or as easy as you plan If the decision is mutual, might be you can ask your husband on wht is his take on you having full custody and he paying child support and alimony.

    Apart from all this, I appreciate if you could stand up on your feet and start becoming independant. i.e first start taking up a job. Atleast some job that would pay for your min. expenses. You have to be responsbile individual and you are planning to be a single parent. No matter how much ever alimony/childsupport is granted by the court, whatif you have problems on getting it really, what if your husband defaults on those payments, how do you plan to manage, what if the alimony /support agreed by court is not enough for the real expenses. So think about all these. dont just hope that you would live separately in India with your kid and your EX would pay all the money for you to live .

    You dont have to depend on your parents financially if you take up a job. You would also develop self confidence tohandle your life.

    By the way what is your current visa status in US? what are your education qualifications?
     
    Last edited: Jul 9, 2010
  9. MahimaKarthik

    MahimaKarthik New IL'ite

    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1
    Gender:
    Female
    Hey guys
    Cool it:bonk ,my intention was to help that good soul ,we all tend to take decisions impulsively out of ego and its human,and infact a known relative of mine ,a close one, took it and later was repenting for the same.
    I feel that everyone needs to get a second chance to think ,sorry if you guys have taken it wrong !And its is painful to go through the divorce so rather try hard and work it out and live happily ,since both of teh things need effort and lots of energy,so why not try for the good one !
    cheers
    Mahima
     
  10. rosequeen

    rosequeen Senior IL'ite

    Messages:
    134
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    16
    Gender:
    Female
    Raji,your situation is complicated. Is your baby a US citizen? Are you on EAD as well? You cannot just take the baby to India without your husbands knowledge and file for divorce there. Even if an indian court agrees to grant divorce and orders your husband to pay maintenance there is no way to get it enforced. I can think of only one way to handle this, you need to learn driving and get a job, then file for divorce in the US.
     

Share This Page