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Which is a better life : Married OR Single ?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by geeta79, Jun 5, 2007.

  1. Triza

    Triza New IL'ite

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    Hi all,

    In single life we have all sorts of freedom- physical, mental, intellectual and so on. We don't have to count on any body. But once we are married, this scenario changes. Some times we are forced to keep our priorities aside, we have to keep our mind on so many people around us. Definitely this calls for some amount of patience, sacrifice and surrendering of our ego. But I think the satisfaction we get from this small acts of sacrifices is hundred times worth than that of the freedom we enjoy when we are alone. As a single we are living for ourselves, as a married person we are living for so many people around us. After 7 years of marriage I feel that my life is more meaningful after marraige - I have a greater role to play as a wife, as a mother, as a daughter-in-law. (This doesn't mean that it's problem free - we have to tackle so many obstacles). I'll absolutely go for married life.

    Triza
     
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  2. geeta79

    geeta79 Bronze IL'ite

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    Thank u all the ladies for responding to my thread......... all the different views given by everyone are true from their point of view. As for my view, as rightly said, there are many different phases of our life, and each of it has a time of its own. From childhood, to teenage, to being single, to getting married, to having kids, and so on and so forth. And some of the phases have to happen on time like getting married, having kids.........

    Being single is the most wonderful period of our life, with no responsibilities at all, enjoying our life like there was no tomorrow. We are pampered by our parents like anything, we get watever we want, we are the centre of attraction of our parents and their life revolves around us, we are asked for opinions for every single thing and sometimes we think we are the mighty lord of the house, everything happens as per our say. Being single also has its own pros and cons. But even after having all the big degrees, working with the top companies, constantly growing on ur career chart, having fat pay cheques, sometimes women think they can have watever they want. They have all the freedom to do watever they want, no strings attached, no questions to be answered and no putting a back seat to ur priorities for others sake. But i guess deep down inside, these independent women also feel a need to have that special someone, who would care for them, nurture them, love them........

    Marriages are not always a bed of roses, there are many a times ups and downs also, but its a part of life that we have to tacke in order to succeed in our married life. Marriage is all about loving someone witout expecting, forgetting about ur ego absolutely, forgiving ur spouse's mistakes witout any resentments, caring not only for ur spouse but all those related to him as well, hanging on to the thread of marriage through all the ups and downs and not giving up easily at the first adversity itself............ Ya sometimes when nothin is going good in marriage it becomes a hell, but then we have to think that "Whatever happens, happens for the best". We may have learnt something even from that bad experience. Its just the attitude of accepting watever life gives us and doing our best we can to tackle the situation is wat counts.

    Each and every person needs a goal in a life, an aim in a life, and life advances in the attainment of that goal or aim. When we are single, we are working, we are earning good, but life seems aimless. We have all the money but we dont have that someone with whom we can share it. Ya we have our family, friends, but at some point of time we need someone who can be very close to us and with whom we can share anything and everything. Therefore marriage gives u a goal, an aim to live for our spouse, with our spouse, and after kids to live for our kids.

    So my vote goes for married life. As aptly said by Abha, i loved being single but i also love being married. It has given a new meaning to my life.

    Thanks,
    Geeta.
     
  3. Jayashree2007

    Jayashree2007 New IL'ite

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    MMmmmm....well, this is a classical question! Geetha Priya's reply is cool......In anut-shell, "depends" is the main answer, which means on a matured count, it really depends on how one views his/her married life and decide to lead it! I am strong believer of "un vazhkai un kaiyilae" ("Your life is in your hands") ... so, according to me, this is personal and depends on how an individual tackels it, as you are the best judge based on your situation! I would not inadvertently vote for "married life" nor "unmarried" life.... !! So, from me, "all the best" is all I can say!
    --Jayshree
     
  4. Leila

    Leila New IL'ite

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    Well Geeta me being marrried for 3 months have certainly opened my eyes in all senses. First I was single for three years after i broke up with my ex . So in those three years i really enjoyed my life I was independant and owned my Own car and my own money . I needed no man /parents to take care of me . My father brought his kids (3sons and myself up to believe that we need to be self sufficient and must be able to support ourselves. So thats what I did ... i did it so well that now I cant handle people or rather adult women and men that can'T be self sufficient especially if they in their late twenties .
    But back 2 your question BEING single defines who you truly are , what your foundation is ( this is where the morals /values ) that our parents intsill in us come into play .Being single you find yourself you realise what it is that youwant out of life and that is a joy in itself ,yes at times you would feel lonley and think about settling down and that is normal because in life you have to take steps to go forward so marriage would be the decision that each of us make eventually .
    However as an indian girl i have realised that in our society they dont mind a woman earning money so that can change in society however the other things remain the same THE WOMAN DOES ALL THE HOUSEWORK ,THE WOMAN MUST SHUT HER MOUTH AND LISTEN TO HER MIL ,THE WOMAN MUST MAKE sacrifices and must be more tolerant off her in laws even if they are sarcastic and full of crap THE WOMAN has to MAKE THE adjustments .... can u see a pattern is that JUSTIFIED but most of all is it FAIR ?????and WHAT exactly does the man do TO make the womens life easier???? ... he has no other pressure infact we women who work have dropped the men in our lives pressure by 50% by being another breadwinner . Yet still that is not regarded as a good thing THE WOMAN has no credit for what she brings in a marriage so when us women sit back and think we realise that if we have the tolerance and patience to be put in a situation where we make all the adjustments and all the sacrificing and to top it off PUT UP with inlaw issues then clearly WE WOULD MARRY and then if u not then u remain single to live a happier more content life with no pressures and no demands and nO ILAWS!!!!!

    so IN A NUTSHELL its a personal choice and that only you can make no one else

    LEILA
     
  5. Nivedi

    Nivedi New IL'ite

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    Hi Geetha,

    Your question is very thought-provoking.

    To me, my married life turned out to be good because I have more freedom than I had when I was single. My family was conservative and there were many do's and do'nts. My husband has a progressive mind-set and he encourages me to do things that I fear to tread on.

    Rgrds,
    Nivedi
     
  6. Shanthi

    Shanthi Silver IL'ite

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    Hi GPriya,
    Another great reply from GPriya! If everyone was posed the question you have given in your post,


    If you are flexible, patient, diplomatic, hard working, always caring for others how crappy they are, willing to part with your money, body, emotions, space and everything you own, to get the much needed companionship in life (with no certainties if it would last forever!!!!!) then you can marry and try out with the best of intentions...


    I suppose everyone would say no. In our society, they glorify marriage. Every child as she/he grows up realises that marriage will be the ultimate milestone for them atleast in their personal lives. We do make a big deal about marriages. Our parents cannot relax until they get us married. Some people get married to give their parents a satisfaction of having done their duty. All the hype and hoola dies down after marriage. You almost feel like that you have nothing more to look forward too ( excitement wise ).

    Only after marriage when we face everyday life with husband, in-laws do we realize "Oh! What do I do?" Personally I say to myself that I shouldn't have fallen in love or got married when I am really angry or upset. But soon realise that a family of my own makes me feel good, wanted( and no one could have stopped me from falling in love :oops: )! I live away from relatives with my hubby so I guess I am lucky that I don't have to deal with relatives in a day to day basis. So I guess it depends on every person and their situation.

    Love:wave
     
  7. reeja

    reeja New IL'ite

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    Hi Geetha,
    I don't think there will any concret answer to your question! B'coz the answer differs from person to person. As many have already mentioned above, if your married life has all the spices you missed in your single status you'll vote for the latter or the former.
    Personally speaking, I hardly make out any difference in my pre and post married life!! It was my mom who li'l strict, saying no to late parties before marriage and after the marriage the picture changed , my better half took her place! So, I think there is no ready made answers ,but it depends on each person and their living circumstaces.
    Regards,
    Reeja


    :wave
     
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  8. lathanarasimhan

    lathanarasimhan New IL'ite

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    Hi friends

    I have been married for the past 26 years.

    I am the only daughter with 2 elder brothers.
    I was always addressed as queen victoria by my parents. They never even used the word Di. I was married to a family much more conservative than ours. I did face lot of problems. One good thing I did was to keep my husband away from all the unwanted garbage I had to face from his aunts. All I told my hubby was that if he cannot support me then he should not support them either. I took charge of my life facing a menacing crowd of bullies all alone at the age of 20. I did all my duties extremely well but when it came to my rights, I never waited for anyones permission.
    My hubbys aunts used to ask me "It seems your FIL is not talking to you? is he visiting you?" and so on. My reply would be "did'nt you ever fight with your inlaws?" They would just shut up. I had fitting replies to all their queries.
    But I never raised my voice to tell my opinion . Extremely polite in every way.
    They could'nt tolerate this diplomacy for long , and backed out.
    I would like to quote Malathi"s quote here
    " No one can make you fell inferior with out your permission"

    AS for my marriage its a great success with loving hubby, sweet children , Adoring sis in law brother in law, & their families.

    For success in marriage you need your husband's support & love. I have that in plenty so for me marriage is heaven.
    regards latha:wave
     
  9. reeja

    reeja New IL'ite

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    Hi Lathji,
    WOW! I think i'm falling in love with you!!! I always like this quality in women. Strive to get what you are entitled to. Once you know you're cent percent right, straight in your thoughts, pure in your heart -then nothing can touch you. No gossip, no plotting and no back biting will come near you.
    All the Best
    Regards,
    Reeja
    :2thumbsup:
     
  10. lathanarasimhan

    lathanarasimhan New IL'ite

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    Hi reeja,

    Thanks for your compliments. My life is full such funny incidents. People poke their nose voluntarily and have it cut. My policy is never interfere in others affairs, And never allow others to interfere in yours.

    I have a big circle of friends in Bangalore , Still I enjoy making more friends in this site.:-D

    regards latha.
     
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