Where Will You Settle In Us If Given A Choice

Discussion in 'General Discussions' started by daisy1234, May 11, 2022.

  1. daisy1234

    daisy1234 Silver IL'ite

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    Hi all,

    After a big deliberation, I have come to you all! I live in Midwest and ever since I came here, I always wanted to move out of this place but DH was a non IT guy and he was stuck here for last 15 years due to his field/GC and finally he got a remote opportunity to move elsewhere in US. The only downside is housing market is way too high at present with high interest which makes me think otherwise. The main reason for me to move out is to find the right set of friends group and to escape the weather. We are narrowing down on the places below and please suggest is this a right move. We will also end up spending most of our salary and left with no savings. Irvine, LA ( high cost of living but I always wanted to move here) , Naperville Chicago ( high property tax, harsh winter) , North Carolina ( not many houses available now). I love my house I live in right now, kids have a good set of friends (Americans) around the neighborhood and we can save if we stay put! But this place is not an happening place and being a foodie we don’t have many options around , my kids are the only Indian kids at school ( they are still in elementary but I am worried if its better to be around diverse crowd during middle and high school) and people don’t stay here longer - usually we get to meet nice people, become good friends, have get togethers/potluck and they leave in a year or two! I have to start all over again with new set of people and am tired of this process! To overcome my loneliness, we take many exotic trips outside US just to explore places and food which we might have to cut if we choose to buy home in LA. I don’t know if I have to be practical which means being where I am and be ok with my lifestyle or should I have to follow what my heart says - I have resumed my career after 5 years break and landed in a good job but I don’t want to have big commitments based on my income since I usually take a career break whenever I want to meet the family needs! Please please help me out and I truly trust all your opinions.
     
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  2. Laks09

    Laks09 Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    I really like Cary, NC. I’ve been a few times to Raleigh and even considered moving to NC. I love the Raleigh suburbs. It’s milder weather wise, has a good mix of Desi/Non desi folks, isn’t expensive like CA and the schools are good. I especially like the fact that UNC - CH is not too far from Cary, is considered a public Ivy by many and is still relatively better to get admitted to(compared to highly competitive state schools elsewhere). I honestly don’t know how it’s going to all turn out with the influx of people leaving the north east and CA to NC, Georgia, TX, FL. Houses are hard to come by in all of these states right now.
    If I were choosing, I would pick NC over Irvine or Naperville. Irvine is too expensive and Naperville is just too darn cold for me.

    Did you already give up on Atlanta suburbs? That’s another good option if you have the choice.
     
  3. Rihana

    Rihana Moderator Staff Member IL Hall of Fame

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    Given a choice, I'd choose Dallas. A friend who is my "twin" chose that, so I'd choose it too.

    Fulltime remote work is here to stay but will take a few years to evolve. Choose an area where the major income earner can find an in-person job if need be. Within that area, choose the place to live based on high school's rating. Elementary and middle are important too, but high school matters most.
     
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  4. Thoughtful

    Thoughtful Gold IL'ite

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    If weather is not a concern and mainly from being a foodie point of view, multi ethnic, multi cultural and happening places New York, New Jersey area might be good. I have eaten indian food in lot of places in the US but the most authentic and diverse is in this area. The travel from the east coast is also the best from here and tons of places in the north east to visit and do. For kids too you will find lots of activities/avenues.
     
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  5. daisy1234

    daisy1234 Silver IL'ite

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    Thank you Laks! Truly appreciate your post. Yes Cary, NC was in my list too but hubby wants to move to a big city ( easy access to international flights and a hub for pharma companies) where as I am in fix right now! When I got married n visited NYC/LA , I wanted to live in either one of those cities for a while but he wasn’t ready to do so (before kids). Finally when he is ready, I am having a second thought since I am trying to make terms with the current place after 2 kids. He is ready for a big move and want it to be a bigger city than where we are right now. We did try to search house in NC and it’s very hard to find any good house near Cary and I heard it’s even harder to get into good schools. I feel like I am at an age where I need to focus on my kid’s education rather than living in my past. In my early marriage days, I had an option to move anywhere and get a high paying job after finishing MS( whole bunch of my grad school friends moved to Bay Area/Seattle) but I stayed back cos I wanted to start a family and sacrificed my ambition due to his career choices and his decision to stay here for the GC. Now I want to make a right decision which will benefit all of us instead of one!
     
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  6. daisy1234

    daisy1234 Silver IL'ite

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    Yes Dallas was in our list but hardly there are any companies that would work out for him in a long run! I am looking for a place where we can settle down with no second thoughts and that’s why I am thinking too hard in taking a right step! Primary earner should have multiple options to choose from and Dallas will not let him grow in his field :(

    OTOH I really thought of tagging you in my post when I was typing the message initially and am really happy to see your comment :)
     
  7. daisy1234

    daisy1234 Silver IL'ite

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    Agreed to all of it! NY is my dream place and I usually visit every 2 years! Houses in NJ are still highly priced and with property taxes the EMI comes too high for a median home of 600-700k houses when I compare it with LA million dollar home! We only check Zillow and we do not see many options to opt for in the first place!
     
  8. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    NJ is good for pharma, Boston is great for a biotech hub but these are very expensive places. The grand daddy is the Bay Area. We often think of moving there but probably won’t be able to afford more than someone’s shed.
    My friend lives in Cary, NC and other friends live in the Atlanta suburbs and both are happy.
     
  9. daisy1234

    daisy1234 Silver IL'ite

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    Very true- NJ is the place he wants to be in but I was the one who said no! I find NJ has a matured desi community and I really want to find an active community where I can mingle easily and I want to escape from winter :( If you know any good places in NJ, can you recommend? Yes, Bay Area is out of picture for the same reason you stated above!
     
  10. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    NJ has an entrenched desi population but there are new people coming and going all the time so you should be able to find your tribe. I went to grad school there long ago and really liked it. Scotch Plains, Bridgewater, Edison and the areas around Princeton were popular places.
     

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