Where have we gone wrong?

kanaka · Dec 24, 2007

Yesterday's 'Hindu sunday magazine':coffee had a write up on an incident in which some school children were involved in "killiling" of one of their class mates. True where as we parents have gone wrong? A thorough introspection is the need of the hour. Hardly we accept the fact that we ourselves are at crossrods. Probably the social chaos in the name of urbanistion sudden change in the economic arena leading to a drastic change in the environment we have to put up to which the Indian psyche is very alien. I don't know whether you may agree. Yet I would speak .
Often we adults are are very shallow in our approach to life. Can't say NO to things . Hardly there is any room for convictions. Move along with the crowd.
As an elderly lady I would like to ask the young ladies what they mean by kitty parties. Iam not against socialisation. But my observation is -it is nothing but a show off of what we aren't of what we don't have or need to have. Sorry for the statement. I could understand if it meant some productive recourse to some individual or societal problems. A kind of assurance to someone's life.(I know some may not like my statements.) But these are some of the contributing factors which has been creating damage to other family members and for us too..
Slightly deviating from this' I would like to mention something which I have seen occasionally. Several times I have seen fathers allowing small children of age 2 to sit on their lap and allow the child to operate the steering wheel. also manoevure the vehicle to some extent.(Mother's exclaim"So sweet kanna so sweet) I have heard fathers allow the son to handle pistols. Tell if what I say is true who is at fault?Give the child what you couldn't afford to possess is equally dangerous.Nodoubt he/she is your child but he/she is an individual with a different psyche trying to establish an identity of his own. Let us only be mediators without giving ay to snobbery and hypocrisy. kanaka

sunkan · Dec 24, 2007

kanaka,
is this anything in front of an article in TOI that a man raping his 4yr old daughter and showing it to his friends in webcam, did he think of his child, his family, or their future, at the most he gets a 8 yrs jail then, how does the daughter would like to treat him or his family or for that matter how is he going to face the world, may be he might crack a joke come baby now you look even more beautiful?? like this many exposures are the main reason, whether we like it or not we were more cultured and had our pride before these western films and exposure..sunkan

Shanvy · Dec 24, 2007

hi kanaka,

I read that article yesterday. it was deeply running in my mind, and made me retrospect and analyse if i have gone wrong...

because in today's world, the pressure on the parents and the kids are both heavy.....even if you are a dedicated stay at home mom,watching over the kids hawklike, we can make mistakes...

So, yesterday night called my DD and DS..and told them we will not watch violence or play games with violence..DS (he is 9) said "Mom,I know it is not real it is just a game or a program"...I simply sat with him and patiently told him..that "Agreed, it is a game,you are mature enough to know what is right or wrong..and also differentiate between reality and artificial, violence and non-violence..., though it does not affect you straight, it is sits in our subconcious mind, making you a short tempered person..." let me see how it goes....

I agree with all your points...there are many other factors...like the guilt factor for not being able to give them quality time....let us all discuss it more....will come back....later....

Shanvy · Dec 24, 2007

hi sunkan,

I could not digest that news......where are we going....my god...doing the act and then showing it to others...how perverted or sick a person can be....
that too own daughter.....:thumbsdown:eek
Whom do we blame, the media, the exposure....

krish22 · Dec 25, 2007

Hi kanaka,

I too agree with all your points.Even I myself stood aat crossroads being a mother for just 3 yr olds.This is because with most fvaorite cartooon serial Tom n Jerry.
My DH and DD waaatch this regularly.Oneday I was not happy with something what my DD did and she didn't get what she was asking for.Then she told my DH I will take a gun aand do the firework on mommy like Jerry did on Tom.I was astonished and scared to death that where did I go wrong.After aa lot of sleepless nights I am dealing this kind of situations ina different manner now aand I explained her everything that's a different story But I still have hard challenge and long struggle infront me.

Hi Sunken,

He definitely must be a lunetic and I think there is no fear for anything and over exxposure of everything in people drives them to these kind of acts.