When divorce is not the answer......!!

An interesting story for a happy marriage

The Shoe Box

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said She would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. 'When we were to be married,' she said, 'my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll.'

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness. 'Honey,' he said, 'that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?'

'Oh,' she said, 'that's the money I made from selling the dolls.'

A Prayer.......
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him, and Patience for his moods.
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death, because I don't have time to crochet.



ps:Some friend had forwarded this story to me by email.

 

Well, it's been a long time. I had a lot of time to think and discuss with friends.

Reading the many marital problems in this forum I very deeply feel that marriages cannot be the only way in human relationships. I no doubt adhere to the view that a marriage is a very sacred bond in which case there cannot be any talk of a possible divorce between the couple. However time has crossed that rigid threshold.

Morality and values (being very subjective) apart we have to seek innovate alternative solutions. And this will ever be an ongoing process in tune with the times we live in.

Today same-sex marriages long held taboo are recognized by law. So also the rigid opposition to pre-marital sex is passe'. Even traditional marriages have undergone fundamental changes - esp., in the equation between the spouses and also innumerable laws that interfere with marital relationships for their supposedly smooth conduct.

Joint families have given way to nuclear families which in turn are giving way to single-parent families.

Further, scientific advancements in human reproduction technology are creating new scares in our society undermining the very question of ethics in such practices as cloning.

So changes in our relationship styles also, I think, are a must, to factor in the new realities and equations of life.

I earnestly feel that only in cases where the marriages have been non-starters or have become extremely irreconcilable or have irretrievably broken down, divorces should not be a viable option as they are even more messy and traumatic to all the concerned ones. Between the two extremes a solution is possible to keep that relationship (sealed by matrimony) alive.

Thus even if a little spark is still alive between the couple it can be fanned into a fire that can fuel a meaningful relationship between them.....if need be with certain clearly defined and agreed-upon modifications (defining the depth, extent and period of relationship) that will make-up for the lacunae in the relationship.

This may also require if need be to explore alternative marriage lifestyles.... (a lot of references are available on the net). This is of-course a matter for another discussion and debate (in a separate thread).

Regards
Prad