What's wrong in this?

jaishamagna · Jul 23, 2009

Hi,

I believe that irrespective of the gender, a mother sgould train both her children,son and daughter , to be self sufficient and independent at any stage of life. Having observed that my brother was very independent and helpful nature in the house, now i see him doing chores after marriage and kids, on his own, without waiting for the lady of the house to come. Seeing this, I too am training my son to do small things like making dosas, laying the dinner table, washing plates, cleaning ,etc. when he is free. Which even my daughter does. My husband ,too, is of a helping nature.
However, my MIL feels that when me and my MIL ( 2 ladies) are around, why should the men folk do such girlie stuff., it is degrading and so on. Fun part is, my FIL helps my MIL in EVERYTHING. No questions to be asked. Her argument is why should they enter the kitchen dept. wehn my daughter or me or she can do. She snatches the chore from them and starts doing it.
I have snubbed her telling it is not just equality but knowing all odd jobs in case of need is the reason . My husband and son enjoy cooking like dosas, sandwiches,etc.

I am fed up and stopped arguing with her and tell her to rest and let us do our work. But such petty things causes friction in the home atmosphere.:crazy

When are the old generation going to change?

jai Witsend

Lalitha Shivaguru · Jul 23, 2009

Dear Jaisha,

You hav e echoed my thoughts also too well. Atleast your son & DH does all these chores but in my house it is the opposite. More to this male members are not supposed to sw3eep or mop the floors. The old generation cannot be changed in these matters. They have to have more broad outlook then only things will work out. God alone knows when this will happen.

knot2share · Jul 23, 2009

Hi Jaishamagna

I can understand your frustration. But dont let it spoil your mood. Very hard to expect old generation to change and it is not fair either on them. They have been set in their school of things for a much longer time than us. So I think we need to be mindful of that and do things without disrupting. We can be flexible and accommodating, but not fair to expect them to be so.

Like u said, u ask her to take rest and all of u continue with the work as per normal. That is a good way to get around.

depressed · Jul 23, 2009

Dear Jaishamagna,

It was nice reading your blog. My husband does household chores in our own house. But in the presence of MIL/FIL-it is a different story altogether.
Keep doing what you want, keep training your son-irrespective of what others say. Because by doing so, you are training a future generation who will not only be self sufficient but also lend a helping hand to others in need.

Cheers,
"HAPPY"

manchitra · Jul 23, 2009

Ho! there you go again the same old story.
times are changing and your MIL will change too. Give her space and love her double and you ,your hubby,son daughter,MIL and FIL all will have a wonderful and lovely life