What's in a name?

Mindian · May 19, 2010

Dear Cheeniya sir,

I cannot imagine how I missed this thread even after it was recently re opened. An absolutely rocking one that had me in splits throughout. Oh, how I wish these Ilites like TDU, Manjureddy, Vidya 24, shreyasri were still around.

I too think Juliet was very flippant when she came with her famous quote. And oh yes, Ash (kuchalambal???:rotfl) by any other name would not have been so successful.

It does matter to me, initially at least .Besides my given name (which I am perfectly happy with and thank my athai who gave it to me) I am also named after my grandmother which was too old fashioned for my tastes (now that I think about it, it could have been worse) and though all my certificates are in that name nobody after school calls me by that name. In fact I recall complaining to my grandma "why couldn't you have had a nice modern name "and her retort was "My eldest grand daughter (my periappas daughter) is an IAS officer bearing my name. Now isn’t that proof that my name will not be a hindrance to you to achieve anything in life?"
And it so turned out that I and my 5 cousins named after her,(though we did not end up doing anything remarkably great) do have a professional qualification attached to her name. She would have been mighty pleased.

Coming to Chinese names, I have met a du-sin, oi-lee(over the phone she sounded very "oily" to me),Channe (a?)l-lee and the likes.:biglaugh

And then coming to our Mahabharath, I used to always wonder which Mother in her normal sense would name her children "Duryodhan, Dushhaasan (I do not know the rest but they all begin with Dhu, right?

A hilarious topic that one could go on and on, I guess.

Cheeniya · May 20, 2010

Oh Mindi
That was indeed a golden period! Manju Reddy who was my top favorite, Vidya 24 and Shreyasri almost elevated the Good to Read Forum to a delightful study circle. Their language made ma envious. Their expressions were out of the world. I too wish that they make their reappearance one fine day and start enthralling us as before!

To be frank with you, I did not wish to be too rude to Juliet when I wrote this thread but I got carried away. I am always very indulgent towards these young girls in love even when they levitate in slow motion like the girls in white we see in Baarathiraja’s movies. But I am highly intolerant of the nonsense they utter like a delirious patient of influenza.

Now you also show a shade of Juliet when you expect your grand mother to have a modern name. Those were the days when visalam, kuchalambal, yogambal and the like were in great demand like the premium car numbers that people bid for and get at a hefty price today. Imagine grandmothers bearing names like Asha, Shobha, and Aneetha. My own were kinder to me, my paternal one being Valambal and the maternal one being Meenakshi.

Chinese names and faces leave me totally confused. If I had half a dozen of them in my family, my head would keep reeling forever the sound of which could be heard for miles.
Do you know the Duryodhan clan had one solitary sister by name Dusshala?. She survived the war and the Pandavas showered all their love on her? I do hope the present ‘duh’ that the modern ladies use in chats has nothing to do with Mahabharat.
Sri

ojaantrik · Jun 16, 2010

Dear Sri:

I don't know if Aishwariya would be famous if she were named Hirimba or Taraka, but I tend to disagree with you. The thing is, you see, this ITCHGUARD thing appears to be quite famous all across India, though the makers didn't call it tequila. And even if they did call it so, do you think people would be any less derisive if someone entered a medicine shop and asked for a tube of tequila? I doubt. Besides, I think, most people use a ploy while asking for the stuff. They pretend as though it's needed for an ailing grandfather who's developed bedsores. Or something of that sort. Which reminds you of the way you know how you would buy a pack of you know what soon after marriage.

Of course, the scratching of private parts in privacy is a matter that cannot be quite avoided. There is no escape from that, so long at least that a private corner is available. But then, that has little to do with the naming ceremony. And even in this connection, I think there could be ways of pretending that you are adjusting your trouser buttons or something of the sort if you don't know which way the toilet lies. What do you do if you are attacked while travelling in a bus or delivering a lecture at a Bankers' summit?

No way out man, no way. Call your itch anyway you please, call it Madhubala if you like, it will itch no less. So, you are being unfair to Juliet. Of course, if Romeo were named Ghatotkacha, I am not sure what Juliet's reaction would be, but if she managed to fall in love with him before his name was revealed, I doubt that her love would dry up altogether merely at the mention of his name.

Or, to take an example nearer to home, do you think people would start reading oj's posts at IL if he were to sign an affidavit and had himself renamed Uttam Kumar? Wouldn't he be treated with indifference at best and hatred at worst whatever name he assumes?

And, in any case, a day invariably arrives, when one does not give a d*** anymore if names matter or not. Whether one scratches his a** in public or not. Whether people kick him hard or soft.

Juliet was right. Names don't matter! But then, nothing else matters either! Perhaps.

oj

Cheeniya · Jun 17, 2010

My dear OJ

A British once told me that if Britain was famous for witchcraft, India could claim to be famous for itchcraft! He made this remark when he saw an old man rubbing his back vigorously against a wall seeking relief from a terrible itch. He went on to declare that India was a country of itching where you needed a thousand hands! I did not tell him about the mythical king Kaarthaveeryarjun who was blessed with a thousand hands with which he could stop the flow of River Yamuna besides scratching himself!

I am mentioning this to you to drive home my point how Itchguard attained its fame despite having a very suggestive name. In a country where itching vied with common cold for top honours, anything that provided relief from this awful malady would sell. I do not have any statistics about the success of itchbusters available in the country. It is my guess that the great walls of India would be the most preferred remedy for itching and Itchguard would be in the category of ‘also ran’! It is my further guess that China would be a close second to India or even slightly ahead in itching as evidenced by their need to construct the Great Wall! Yet another proof for you how innovative the Chinese can be!

So my take is that Itchguard could sell because of demand and supply theory. The demand for itchbusters in India far exceeds their supply. So there is no surprise that Itchguard could sell despite a shamefully suggestive name!

Sri

mikku · Dec 8, 2011

Dear Cheeniya sir,

No surprises, this post had me in splits and the contributions are equally witty and intriguing.
What's in a name?! Hell, everything! ask me for I was butt of the jokes through my school days, courtesy my name,given after a mythological character who enticed this one saint...as if that weren't enough, one of the eminent political leaders who emerged during my growing years bore my name too. On almost every first interaction, my name was repeated back to me satirically, by tagging the infamous saint's (not saintly anymore!) name or with the surname of the politician. I was not spared by the teachers either....Why this name, of all the thousands of beautiful names? :rant Was my question to my parents, after all there isn't a dearth for names in our country unlike elsewhere, where every other person is called Jessica or Jennifer, though they might be as abundant in other aspects..Interestingly, my MIL was inclined towards changing my name during my marriage, and someone suggested that or my husband be rechristened as saint *******....all had a hearty laugh at the expense of my poor name yet again:spin....I sure have grown out of the bitterness towards my name now...sorry about the rambling,sir,had to let the steam off, as you can see it is one of my pet peeves.

Cheeniya · Dec 8, 2011

Dear Mikku
Why do you think that you are the only one to bear a name which is reminiscent of some dubious character? Probably no name in the world is free of such dubious connections! Every wrong doer from the dawn of time had to have a name and when it is time to name a new arrival in the family, we pick one in good faith. We do not google for it to search if there were any nasty guys bearing that name in the past.

From the story you give me, I can guess your name and I want to assure you that the Rishi enticing episode was not carried out at her behest. She was merely used as a tool to execute the diabolical plan of some vested interests who did not want this Rishi to complete his penance and become a threat to their existence. But the union of the Rishi and this girl resulted in a wonderful child being born who in turn gave birth to a legendary son!

So that name is not as much of a ridicule as of Itchguard! Don't despair!

mikku · Dec 16, 2011

Dear Cheeniya Sir,
It indeed was a beautiful story that eventually resulted in christening a great nation after the prodigious Emperor...but one tends to overlook the intricate details during growing years, and is inclined to focus on ‘why me’ s, especially when you are put on the spotlight for off the beam reasons. I realize it is part of growing up, and as I said I have outgrown the scorn. I agree, my parents gave me the name in good faith and one does not go looking for a name that was never bore by anyone other than the purest of the beings.. Oops, the digression of the ebullient thread to ennui was purely unintentional. :bonk
The good news is, my name would be a winner, hands down! with 'Itchguard' as the contender....or even otherwise!

Cheeniya · Dec 21, 2011

You know mikku, Shakunthala was rejected by one Rishi who called himself the 'Friend of the Universe'. But the same girl made her adopted father Kanva weep like a child when he had to send her off to her husband's place after marriage! Menaka, for all the trouble that she had to endure, became ultimately the proudest grandmother of the Universe! Life is full of riddles, mikku. Enjoy it!
Sri

Viswamitra · Jan 23, 2012

The name ITCHGUARD also did not clarify to people whether it protects itch or relives itch. That might be another confusion people had perhaps in determining whether it would be an appropriate solution. In my opinion, the most unreachable space is on our back right the mid portion of the vertebra. Once I went to India and came back opening up my suitcases. With a great smile I proudly told my wife, "Look! What I got?" She thought that it was a jewellery or a saree but I opened the bag and showed a back scratcher that operates like a hand to reach that part of the vertebra. She was furious at my smile.

I used to visit number of companies as I am professional investment banker acquiring companies. Every time when the subject relating to competition is discussed, the founder would indicate that the company's primary competition is the internal IT department of their clients. Similarly, Cheeniya Sir, you have declared the only competition for ITCHGUARD is great walls of India. It is amazing that the competition always remains with the client.

Your post reminded me of Kanja Karuppu who acts as a willing helper to fix the handle bars of bicycles as he had a perennial itch. He found an innovative way to avoid going to a private place to solve his itch.

Having said all that, it is an embarrassment always to talk about our skin problems. I had an attack of Psoriasis a few years back and I got lesions all over my hands and legs. The Dermatologists in the U.S. are busy people and they put all the patients in multiple rooms and have their nurses inspect the problems first before they enter the room. It was such an embarrassment for me to stand in a room without a shirt with the nurse inspecting the lesions. After sometime, the physician came and declared that what I was suffering from is Psoriasis and that it would disappear if I apply a specific cream for the next 30 days. He said that it was not contagious and shook hands with me to give me confidence. I used to wear full sleeve shirts wherever I went during that period.

Viswa

Cheeniya · Jan 23, 2012

Dear Viswa
You have raised a good point. The name 'Itchguard' would seem to imply that it guards against itch. Logically, therefore, it must be an ointment that should be applied before running into the malady of itching. A guard is a protector and not a cure. Aquaguard is used to guard us against water-borne diseases. We don't drink water filtered by Aquaguard as a medicine after we are afflicted by a water-borne disease. Cricketers wear abdomen-guard to protect their vulnerable parts from getting hit by a cricket ball travelling at some 150 kmph. They do not wear it after they are hit there to hide the enormous swelling. Thus 'Itchguard' is a misnomer.

I had once heard that the world's speediest dogs could be found in Texas because the trees were so far apart there! The Great Wall of China is indicative of the prevalence of 'itching' among a majority of the population. You have touched upon the back scratcher that once sold like hot cakes in India. But with the level of sycophancy reaching astronomical levels in India, we have any number of back scratchers available around us. They do the job more efficiently than the wooden ones that you are talking about.
Sri