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What Would Make You Throw In The Towel And End Your Marriage?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Patientone, Jun 29, 2019.

  1. Roar

    Roar Gold IL'ite

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    That towel my darling, is one heck of a towel to throw.

    While many would have come close, only few manage to. Somehow we prefer zoning out emotionally and carry on.

    My mum has a opposite balcony where a working women lives. She comes home everyday to a pile full of dishes to be washed and a pile full of dirty clothes. She starts cleaning them at 11:30pm and she rants as long she does it, about her husband being indifferent, that she needs to do everything and no one ever cares. About property and everything else. She goes quiet by 1 am or so.I visit my mum every other year and I hear her every time I go, year after year after year. I don't know the whole story but I wish she finds some peace someday.

    To answer your question: Personally it should either be major blows intentionally to my self respect or repeated emotional/ physical/ financial abuse of my children. Once those few chances are exhausted, I leave. Simples.

    For you?.. only you know. But when you do, be brave.
     
    Last edited: Jun 29, 2019
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  2. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Platinum IL'ite

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    For years, I’ve been advised that my sacrifice in the short term, the pain I feel now, would fruit long term benefits. The benefits being- financially secure, family and social acceptance, and having someone to care for me during my old age. Something about this ideology always rubbed me wrong, but I honestly liked the guaranteed security so despite the unhappiness, it felt like the right thing to do by staying.

    When I kept experiencing mental health issues due to being with my husband, more importantly, realizing that the parent I was while staying married, is not the one I like or want as my son’s role model, it changed everything. It’s the realization that life can actually be better than it had been- that it’s not a mindset issue but an environment issue. For years, I’ve been told that my problems are in my head. My marriage was affecting my mental health, my disposition, my outlook on life, my ability to be a parent, and it killed my hope that I would ever feel happy. I didn’t like the person I was transforming into within the marriage, and I knew that I could be a better one outside of it. Realizing this, knowing and accepting the repercussions of that decision... that’s what ultimately lead me to this direction in my life.
     
  3. sokanasanah

    sokanasanah IL Hall of Fame

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    Perhaps we should ask the Sheikha.
    Circumstances in the royal household seem distressing to say the least, especially when Sheikh Al Maktoum has been marketed as a forward-looking 'reformer' of sorts.

    A Princess Vanishes and then is recaptured

    The young princess Latifa has said that she wanted to study medicine. Why not let her? And perhaps build her a fancy hospital in Dubai? What better way to set an example for the society? Whence this drive to assert so much control over women? In the 21st century? What is really going on?
    :BangHead::mad:
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2019
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  4. hermitcrab

    hermitcrab Platinum IL'ite

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    Very true!
    You are being true to yourself.
     
  5. hermitcrab

    hermitcrab Platinum IL'ite

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    Before marriage, I had thought that if he hit me, even once, I will leave.
    So for me it was physical abuse.

    What I didnt realise then that the emotional abuse is equally bad just that there are no visible signs.

    But truth be told, I was thinking that physical voilence would be the only reason where I think to throw in the towel.
     
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  6. rachaputi

    rachaputi Platinum IL'ite

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    Just hitting on my self respect, that would kill me mentally.. call me sensitive or attitude. Myself I'm sensitive.
     
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  7. BhumiBabe

    BhumiBabe Platinum IL'ite

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    That’s what I thought too, that even one incidence of physical abuse would be enough to leave. But it was the emotional abuse that left me feeling helpless and stuck, unable to gather the confidence to leave.
     
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  8. SinghManisha

    SinghManisha Platinum IL'ite

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    The Sheikh’s sixth wife fled the country with kids and couple of million pounds . The sheikh wrote a poem condemning her actions :BangHead:


     
  9. sokanasanah

    sokanasanah IL Hall of Fame

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    I haven't tracked Princess Haya's ranking in the lineup of royal consorts, but I see that she is listed as "the junior wife" on Wikipedia. Why someone - herself born in a royal family - would go along with all that is beyond me, as are her reasons for "throwing in the towel" now. I know next to nothing about Arab society, but I wonder - Haya's father had multiple wives, so she grew up in whatever sort of environment that entails. Would these women prefer monogamy? Opt for it if they could? I need to find credible first-person accounts of their lives.
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2019
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  10. winterhue

    winterhue Silver IL'ite

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    I am throwing in my towel in different ways.

    I no longer call his parents - have refused to take any more emotional blackmailing from MIL and absolutely dont care what they think. MIL uses my co-sis as her flying monkey - still dont care. Its Nirvana. I have no major issues with my H , have a happy family life and happy kids. My towel-throwing was probably never "divorce', it was the day that I realized that my happiness matters as much as anyone else's and unless I decided that I was worth it, no one else would think the same too. My husband has sensed this change in me big time, so he doesnt "mess" with me any more. He knows I will walk out the moment I feel I've had enough. So he treads carefully now too. Doesnt force me to do anything for the PILs :)
     

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