What was your in-lows reaction when you reveal your first pregnancy???

ShilpaMa · May 25, 2010

Tugga congrats on your pregnancy.
How people react is based on their own learnings.
People who've seldom seen failure and are going great guns and all the news that they share come true / matrealise never feel the urge of hiding.

At the same time there's section of people for whom if they share the news to everyone, it seldom comes true and you just become a point of ridicule for overestimating self & hence they end up hiding.

I dont think your MIL's words were rude, probably thats a practise and yes nothing can be confirmed until you can record the first heart beat. You can choose to hate her for her lines, however I read it as well wisher. Whatever you chose.. remain happy with loads of positive energy towards everyone in this phase .

Cindhuja · May 25, 2010

Hi Tugga,

Actually what your MIL said is true might be the way she sounded could have been wrong :hide:..But take it in the right spirits dear.If all is well why should we bother.This is not a matter of hiding or keeping it as a secret.So don't feel guilty for not disclosing with others.In fact in a way it is good to be silent till we reach our second trimester.Dont worry.Enjoy your pregnancy and stay cool :thumbsup

bhuvnidhi · May 25, 2010

Hey Tugga,

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

There is absolutely nothing wrong in what your MIL said.In my case my mom told me not to tell anyone before 3 months.But I told everyone including my MIL.I cannot hide from her isn't it?Though she did not express much to me , I came to know through relatives that she was beaming with happiness that day.They never want to show their happiness to us directly.Probably because the reason behind her happiness is us and they do not want to show that to us???:bonk:biglaugh

And I would say your MIL has handled the relatives well by saying that you are not feeling well.It is always better to reveal to everyone after 3 mnths.

Juts a word of caution : Not neccesary that this will happen to you.When I was preggy , I used to see things through a boothakannaadi(lens) particularly with the in-laws.It was my harmones.:bonk.So I would say do not read inbetween lines and try to analyse your in-laws during this stage.We have the next so many years to do that huh:biglaugh.After your delivery you will start wondering why did I behave like that.:rotfl

Now,Just relax and enjoy!Do not think too much.Listen to good music,good speeches and read good books.

arthidiva · May 25, 2010

Congratulations Tugga! Very happy for you.

like all others say, I have heard the same thing from my aunts, grandmom, etc.. my MIL said it once or twice but did not stress too much so I didnt feel anything wrong in it.. my mom too said it a few times, but she was the one who told our close relatives, not me so I was not to be blamed. It is only a matter of weeks.. say you will be in 6 or 7th week already.. another 5 more weeks you will nearly complete 90 days.. during that time, I didnt get to speak to many of my friends but after 3 months, whoever I spoke to, I shared the good news..

dont worry about all this.. you and your DH enjoy every moment of this happiness and take good care of yourself.. do not take any strain.. enjoy everyone pampering you.. ignore the rest who dont bother.

mithy232 · May 25, 2010

Congratulations Tugga!!!

Happy for you

Forget about the world and enjoy the sweet moments with the special one now. :thumbsup

swaran · May 25, 2010

Hi Tugga

congradulations on your pregnancy...
Abt wat ur MIL told u...dont worry abt that....i feel she has told out of her concern towards u...elders just want to be cautious tat nothing turns bad...maybe the way she told you might have caused some hurt...but please dont feel bad for tat...it is out of love tat she has for you
Take Care...Keep yourself happy...Eat Well and Enjoy ur pregnancy..

rv8 · May 25, 2010

Dear Tugga,

First, hearty congrats on your pregnancy!!!!

I agree with other posters here. Your MILs reaction is completely normal..

Just to quote an example and not to scare you: In my first pregnancy, I told everyone (friends, relatives, my boss, colleagues) almost the same day I did my HPT.. But unfortunately I had to go through a MC.. In my sis-in-laws case, when she broke the news to her MIL in her 5th week, her MIL said it seems, why are you telling this to me now, there is so much time! :rant But now, my SIL is blessed with twin baby girls and it is the same MIL who is taking so much care of her now..

In my friends case, she informed the parents and ILs only after 3 month.. I think that was an extreme case..:rotfl

Forget what people think/react/say.. It is your baby and you have to be happy no matter what others do. Regarding revealing it to friends, I would say hold on until you cross 12 weeks. In between, if they happen to ask directly, just wink/smile and ask them to wait for some more time. This way, they'll get an idea and understand not to bug you until you make it official!!

Once again, congrats and loads of sticky baby dust to you..

blessed · May 25, 2010

congratulation Tugga,

Be positive and enjoy your preganacy!
Yeah I to feel your MIL should have showed some excitement and express her happiness and then she should have told you to be on the safer side u you can reveal this good news after 3 months.

You want to know about my MIL's reaction when I revealed her the good news !
My DH's cousins who stay close to my inlaws place and who are more or less of my age, told the good news to MIL (my DH is her only son) for this she said " Even cats and dogs give birth so what is so great about it"
I was shell shocked to even react, so what do yu think of this?

Tugga · May 25, 2010

Thanks everyone for your replies. I can very well understand my MIL's concerns here. And I also see the point of not revealing the pregnancy news until the end of 1st trimester.

Like Shilpama said, my MIL has gone through lots of failures in her life.. I think that's what makes her worry too much. Not only this pregnancy matter, she even kept quite about her younger son's UK trip until his flight date. Whereas I am someone who shares each and everything with my close relatives and friends immediately, and by the grace of God there was very minimal failures... I don't believe sharing something would make a failure, but I also see the point of explaining to everyone if something goes wrong.

Whatsoever, I am a positive person, so its so hard to behave negatively now. I think positively and hope God will give me all the positives only. But thanks a lot for everyone to open up my eyes... I am no more angry with my MIL

She has told our relatives that I am sick and that's why I didn't attend the function. But the same MIL has told her elder brother (He is also from that relative's family) about this pregnancy news. That person might have told this to his wife - to whom my MIL lied. What is the point?????

Similarly, I have shared this news with my best friend a couple of days back. I just couldn't hide the fact when she noticed some difference in me (swallon face) and asked about this pregnancy. She has just delivered a baby. I didn't want to lie to her, so told her... She has been so helpful to me now by giving useful advises. Unfortunately her mom met my MIL at their place this evening and asked about "Good news". My MIL said there is nothing.... Imagine... What could be the reaction of that lady??????

I think she should have congratulated me and showed some happiness in her tone at the first place. Then as a matter of caution, she should have warned me the fact of MC and other discomforts... Then we both should have decided on how to handle this matter with wisdom.

Because I am not staying with my MIL, nor with my parents. In my little home, we host lots of visiters on a daily basis. They all interact very closely with me and notices even if there is a little difference.. Like vomitting, swallon face, nausea, tiredness... and ask me the reason. I just don't feel like hiding... May be its my sentiment to not hide anything

Ladies... Just a question? Kindly share with me your experience on how did you manage to hide this fact with your closed ones - who visit/see you on a daily basis, notice your nausea, vomits and other discomforts and tell you that you must take an HPT or urine test now.. by that time if you are already pregnant, then how would you hide this fact?

How can you tell them that you are not pregnant and then all of a sudden you say you are 3 month pregnant in a couple of weeks?????

After all, what is more reliable and stable in this world????

Induvadana · May 25, 2010

Tugga,
Congrats !
It is not negative attitude or some superstition but a caution due to high miscarriage rate during first 3 months and the awkwardness of explaining about it.
I wasn't suggesting lying either. I don't have freinds who keep asking me about pregnancy everytime I meet. They knew I would tell them as and when I am pregnant and ready to tell. My DH's side used to casually say"tell us good news soon.". I never heard anyone ask -are you pregnant. I would consider such question quite rude. When they say tell us good news soon, in those 3 months i used to say you may hear it soon and they used to be very happy. When I broke the news everyone understood. I don't think it was a lie. When I tell about pregnancy is my business , it is not some test of freindship or closeness. But then I didn't have nausea, vomiting or tiredness. So no one could tell. If you have such tell tale signs. It is not possible to hide. I didn't have to lie until unless someone asked me straight Are you prgnant and no one did.