what to do with -a momma's boy hubby n an insecure over possessive m.i.l

Kenny,
1) Some gals get love/ affection/ care & surprise gifts on special dates by default.
2) Some get aggressive and make the guys do it for them... and even get aggressive in leaving the perinneal crowd behind.
3) Some just give up all energy & start living the life being offered to them.

You need to pick up one of these and change your life if you want it to change.

 

Kenny,

I do have any further advises.I just read on another thread.

If you like try this.Go to your MIL and act like you are taking permission from her before your husband.Ask like can we(myself and husband) go to movie or somewhere and see what she says though.

Even though you don't like,but you really have to trick her.

 

Kenny.. taking the child out of womb is generally not a very comfortable task for mother, baby & doctor..... however the knife & stitching has to be done to save the life and future.

U've struggled hard for a normal delivery.. its not coming.. so dont wait for this relation to get suffocated any further.. pls raise a knife.. of talking straight & sorting out issues.

Mine is a long distance womb enclosure hence a lesser pain for daily life.. tho remote controlling is carried out... sometimes the remote misses if not placed in direction else I wud have headed for a direct confrontation.

 

hi there,
all you friends there i want to share my story with you. my story is similar to you people , only difference is that i have been married for four years now, don't have kids.my dh is mamma's boy, we went to a doc and there was smthng wrong with his sperm count.... my mil inspite of that got my hsg done, and told my dh not to take any medical advise and thar their astrologer has said we will hv kids late and due to certain problems in my planets this problem is appearing.
plz tell me what should i do?
i really need your advise.

 

Simran its a very sensitive topic of your life & I dont want to hurt you but to ease out the situation take it as it comes.
Its hard for anyone to accept that problem lies with them and esp for guys & their families.

Tell ur MIL ok let me know wht to do next and also try convincing ur DH to continue the treatment.. even docs can help you on that cos they have already come across such guys & their family members.

All the best for TTC.

 

Kenny,

I am new here and all others here already have given you great advice.

I understand you have no choice but to live with mil. I cant think of anyway that you can get dh to realize in a positive way......

Like someone suggested try to get mil to be on friendly terms with you with a little maniupulation. if she wont talk to you try to get her to talk about her husband or her parents or siblings. for example pick up her family album and ask about people in the photos. usually older people like to talk about their childhood or their own family. Show interest in her and dont talk about what you want or you family. if this gets you somewhere then you broach about her in laws, how she lived with them, how they treated her. all this is not in one day of course, just trying to get some conversation going.......and hopefully there wont always be negative energy when you are with her. Maybe thinking about her inlaws will get her to think about how she is treateing you???
While this is maintained enjoy your time with DH even with MIL in tow. dont make your life miserable. let her cook for her son or whatever. Its not a competition, you cant make dh choose btwn both. Be confident and positive. Hopefully your mil will slowly loosen her grip on dh....

-Dee

 

Hi Kenny,

Its been long since I shared anything here ! I would like to comment here that all the girls who have advised u in the past that thry to make ur MIL ur mom, try to build a genuine relationship with her, dont be manuiplative and being cunning will not help - has their advise helped in any form, shape or manner ???? It hasn't cos the fact remains that a MIL is a MIL....She can never be a mom...A bitch on the roadside can still be nice to u but not a MIL.....

When I know I have a mil from hell, why would I wanna invite my parents to my house and spent time there. Why will I not want to go out and spend some time with them....this will also help me to get out of that house......

I will give u 2 examples and then maybe u can understand :

When u found out that ur mil is not at home, u did not find out about her but wennt shopping instead, which is absolutely fine according to me.....Ur hubby was not at home either.

Second situation - when U realised ur hubby and mil are not at home, u should have called ur hubby and asked him to join shopping. If he would have refused u could have told him and gone out with ur parents, in this case u have covered ur back . Also when u know ur mil is nt around u should have told him that u want to take ur mil along with u fr shopping, does he know how far she is or where has she gone...... If he said she will be back in 1 hour, u could have sd that u will come back in 1 hour and take her and u could have njoyed that 1 hour with ur parents...if he sd hes not aware when she is back u could have told him that u so wanted to take ur mil with u but cos she is not around, u will plan it out some other day.....but u wished ur mil could have joined as well.

If u would have manuiplated the situation u would have earned brownie points from ur hubby, saved ur back, no fireworks at ur place and no insulting of ur parents...

You have to handle ur hubby in a very careful manner cos he is dumb as !

Good Luck !