What To Do? Help Needed!!!please Read

Wow! So OP is cooking and taking care the house chores. So should the OPs husband pay her for that? YoGirl, I dont mean to pick on you, but OPs husband chose to sponsor his wife's studies. Why should OP's dad pay for it? They are a family unit. Why bring in OP's dad?

@OP I dont think what you are doing is wrong. It is your prerogative to help your dad. But the only mistake you did was hiding it from your husband. It indirectly means you are doing something wrong. Let your husband learn to deal with the fact that you are sending the money. When the issues comes up, dont use pregnancy as a excuse to avoid it, just tell him you wanted to help your dad. No more excuses needed. He will come in terms with it soon.

Take care!

 

OP, what exactly does this mean? As I understand it, your father used money your husband discreetly gave him to buy gold - for your wedding / for you. Which suggests to me that you have it in a locker somewhere - so, in effect, your husband bought you some jewellery for the wedding. Now let me put on my 'traditionalist' hat, pretend that this loan still needs to be repaid by your father and just ask: should this collateral not buy your father a little time?

I assume this means that your brother is compelled to assume responsibility for the payback, thus alienating your future sister-in-law even before that imaginary adversary arrives on the scene. Do not pass on responsibilities to your brother unreflectively. Work with him as a daughter and a sibling. Sort this out with gratitude and affection. Do not take him for granted. He has his own life to live.

There - the traditionalist hat is off. By the way, do keep in mind that the situation is not all on your husband alone. You went along with your father's selling his house for the sake of a grand wedding. I am certainly familiar with the dynamics of such situations; I am not blaming you. And yet, unless it was all a cloak-and-dagger operation, at least in principle, you had the option to walk away right at the beginning.

 

Op, When your marriage was fixed seeing how demanding your wud be in laws were you shud have put a stop to the marriage then and there itself. I have seen many girls do it and gotten married later happily. Selling a home to get you married shudnt be any parents prerogative. That's not the right way to go even for a catch of a groom. I am surprised how you let that happen.

Your hubby gave money to your dad good and nice gesture. Expecting it to return is also not a bad intention - but did he mention it? No? Then its wrong to put pressure on you.

On the other hand , your dad shud have paid back your hubby asap even without him asking. This loan will set the tone good or bad for the life of your marriage. Next time hint to your dad that you will send some money and to pay back your hubby asap. If hubby asks about money, tell him frankly after so called grand marriage, your dad cudnt afford to pay him back hence you helped. Its better this way instead of beating around the bush. Be deaf to anything he says after. You are pregnant , baby is more of concern and not all these things. Congratulations .Good Luck.