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What should the deal-breakers be in a marriage?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Amica, Feb 11, 2016.

  1. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    Reading these forums, it's obvious that each of us has different expectations of, and tolerance for transgressions by, our spouses.

    So ... I'm curious: What do you think should be absolute deal-breakers? What should we refuse to put up with in a relationship? Where should the line be drawn?
     
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  2. Amica

    Amica IL Hall of Fame

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    OP has to answer first? Alright then ...

    Substance abuse and any form of abuse would be end-of-the-road behaviors in my book.

    Other problems can, I imagine, be fixed with compromise, negotiation and/or therapy.

    Still thinking ...
     
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  3. poovai

    poovai Platinum IL'ite

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    One or more of the reasons can be deal breaker in a marriage:

    Substance abuse
    Verbal or physical abuse
    mental illness (psychotic behavior)
    cheating/EMA
    Gambling
    disrespect
    dishonest/Hiding information
    Secretly hiding or spending money
    Not willing to share the household work/kids responsibilities
    frequent time away from family with his "boys" network
    Too stingy
    angry bird (burst of anger issues):twisted:
    Not respecting/ill-treating in-laws family
    Silent torture
    Not spending enough time with family shakehead
    Lack of affection/love/intimacy
    Too much attention seeker:spin
    when your are not on his top priority
    lack of support for your career growth
    Not treating as a human being
    lack of appreciation
    No gifts ever (credit cards accepted as giftmoneysmiley)


    list goes on and on.....There are 1000 more reasons to walk away from the marriage. Only you can tell the difference between right and wrong, what is happening in your marriage life? Most of all, when you feel that something is not right or things didn't add up, it is time to evaluate your marriage.
     
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  4. MalStrom

    MalStrom IL Hall of Fame

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    Smoking
    Complaining about my dogs :mrgreen: !
     
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  5. YoGirl

    YoGirl Gold IL'ite

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    Lifestyle changes. If the guy's family is of lower lifestyle, then there is a need to think twice.

    Several issues crop up because of this, as the whole family will be tuned to one way and its tough to settle down and adjust for the new bride.
     
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  6. Ragini25

    Ragini25 Platinum IL'ite

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    There are always 100 reasons to throw away something in life, see if you find one good reason to stay on for life. Upto each individual to deal with the consequences either way.
     
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  7. anika987

    anika987 IL Hall of Fame

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    excellent question...

    According to me the deal breakers should be..

    1)physical and emotional abuse
    2)Infidelity (for sure)
    3) I will definitely not say inlaws torture coz we should first introspect ourselves and see how good we are as DIL's.I am not perfect and there have been many times when i have also been mean.so instead of blindly blaming the other side, we have to see the truth and then decide.

    However, the above three also can be overlooked if the person has changed for sure..
    BUT for me point no 2 can NEVER EVER be forgiven no matter what.
     
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  8. SGBV

    SGBV Finest Post Winner

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    For me, any form of EMA - be it emotional, physical or both. That would be the full stop to my marriage life.

    Like someone said, there are 100 reasons to leave the marriage, but one best reason that is holding us here. That is love.
    I can adjust with all the silly other imperfections, and correct him when he goes mad. For ex: If he is violent and abusive (thank God, he is not), I know how to put him at the right place. I won't allow him to.
    But if he indulges in EMA, that too I can control, but for what? EMA means no love, no affection and no respect towards my me/my love. So what is the point of correcting him or putting things to a control. That's why I say EMA is a deal breaker for me.
     
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  9. kimmy

    kimmy Bronze IL'ite

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    For me - EMA, alcohol or drug addiction, physical abuse, verbal abuse, male chauvinism are deal breakers
     
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  10. kcb

    kcb IL Hall of Fame

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    One good reason to stay - LOVE

    One good reason to part ways - EMA
     
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