DH and I had a long talk about it... I was waiting for a chance to bring up the topic and it came up when he was booking their tickets. the talk started because DH was saying this year ILs will come for 8 months to attend a family function and then they want to stay till Diwali. Then he said they will spend 3 months at BIL and 5 months at our place. When I asked why 5 months here he said festival season is better here because I do a lot of things and ILs prefer to do festivals with me! Never thought I would be punished like this for celebrating festivals (I know I shouldn’t say that about festivals but MIL always used to fight with me because I like to celebrate festivals a certain way and she would claim her family didn’t do it that way. And she would try to undermine everything I did). Anyway, I told DH clearly that I can’t have other people living with us for more than 6 months a year and we should be fair and split that time 3months for his parents and 3 months for mine. He was angry and told me I was preventing him from caring for his parents the way he wants to. He did the whole my parents are old and have a few years left and I can’t take care of them because of you blaming routine. I was super calm through it and told him he can do whatever he wants as long as it doesn’t affect me. When it affects me I will draw the line and I can’t do more than 3 months. Dh also tried to pick a fight with me about why my parents don’t stay with my bro ( that’s a whole story ; bro is unmarried and has lots of issues with parents so doesn’t talk to them much). I told him my parents relationship with my bro is none of his business. As long as I am giving an even split to his parents and mine that should be all we talk about. Frankly I don’t know how he can equate his parents and mine. My parents treat DH so well and do whatever he wants even before he asks for it. DH wants me to forget everything ILs did and pretend they are good to me. ILs can’t even go 1 week without a fight in the house . DH is very unhappy now . I worry because I think he will blame me and hate me in later years. But I can’t be miserable just so DH won’t regret things. If he wants to hate me he will do so for some reason or the other I guess. we still haven’t talked about the house selling thing but I have made it very clear that I can’t have ILs for more than 3 months so if they sell their place Dh can buy them another one. !! For those who have suggested it - ILs will not move into senior living etc. according to them: they have 2 sons so they shouldn’t have to live in a retirement home.