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What Is Wrong In Wishing For A Boy Baby?

Discussion in 'Married Life' started by Sweety2016, Oct 9, 2017.

  1. Sweety2016

    Sweety2016 Gold IL'ite

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    Hi all,

    The other thread on H wanting a boy after 2 girls made me write this...Correct me if am wrong.

    I am tired of gender equality statements like, Both boys and girls are equal, my parents raised me like a boy, etc..I too lamented these lines more than often and pushed myself beyond limits just to prove everybody that I am a testimony for the above mentioned statements. My parents are definitely proud of me. Now at present, being a mom of a girl baby I understood how much my life has changed.

    I ve started being more cautious than ever and I am over protective of her. All that carefree daring attitude of mine has vanished into the thin air. Whenever I browse through the paper or newschannels, the first thing that catches my attention is rape, child abuse, child trafficking and I am not only worried for my child but for every child who suffer in the hands of these monsters.
    A 10 month old was raped and killed by her own uncle, 6 year old raped and killed by friendly neigbour who is a software engineer, small girls sexually abused by their teacher, acid attacks, newly married women killed for dowry etc. All these victims are somebody's daughter and my heart goes for each of those parents who loved their girls more than anything else. Worst of all, we dont have any tough laws for such heinous crimes!..Ofcourse all this might happen with males as well but the ratio and probability is very less..

    Having periods every single month. The pain and discomfort associated with it which every female can relate to..

    Last but not the least, the pain related to child birth. Its been more than a year and I am yet to recover completely. I just cant even imagine my cute little muffet experiencing that inexplicable pain..Am crying already..

    This is why I dont want to have a girl child once again. And that made me ponder what is wrong in wishing for a boy?
     
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  2. WorriesTooMuch

    WorriesTooMuch Silver IL'ite

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    Nothing wrong with wishing for a boy baby. I already have one daughter and just had another, and one for one second I was disappointed. Not that I have a preference for boys or anything. It's just I'm really close to my own little brother and wanted my older one to have the same experience. But now I'm madly in love with my precious little second girl and am looking forward to watching my girls grow up together.

    After that hideous Ryan school incident though, we can't really say that boys are totally safe either :(
     
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  3. ashneys

    ashneys Platinum IL'ite

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    There is nothing wrong in wishing for a boy or a girl child. There are families that prays for daughters too, like mine. - The problem is in treating one gender superior than the other n wanting it due to that superiority.

    Daughters or sons, every gender has its equal amount of pros n cons.

    Yes, a male child is prone to rape, child abuse, molestation, child trafficking, murder too, but a sexual exploitation of a male child is brushed under the rug even worser.
    Gang wars exists in boys world (it exists in schools, societies, areas, colleges,etc)
    Many boys aren't even aware of puberty n not many helps them to understand either.
    If a boy asks questions about body, he's a pervert.
    In terms of victimisation, a female is given priority.

    A female can lead on a guy n ditch him easily but if a guy does that, police case can be lodged on him.

    A dowry case can easily be lodged against the boy n his family even when it's not true.

    A man can't even file a rape case against anyone, even the cops will say you came here to complain instead of jus enjoying it.

    Even during times of disasters, children n women are given preferences n men are saved last.

    In terms of chaos, they are to lead ahead n save everyone.

    A man is expected to take lead regardless of whether he wants to or not.

    A son takes a family's responsibility on his head immediately. Not many are given the chance to do what they want. No, he has to study n provide for his family till the parents are alive and even his siblings.

    A son provides for his family all his life. He has to work for his mom, dad, siblings, wife, children, even grandchildren. No one asks him if he would like to take a break or whether he likes working. He is just expected to make money n continue to make money no matter what.

    He has to take care of his family. Run around. My dh used to say, yes you carried our child in your body but I carried both of you in my heart n soul. May sound cheesy, have told him that too, but in reality, many men goes through that too.

    A woman can choose to be a home maker, hire a cook, maid, nanny to help around he house n jus supervise them. I have seen home makers with three, four helpers n still complain when this guy would be breaking his back trying to provide for his family.

    A man doesn't even complain when he's getting beaten by his wife, yes it happens, because he's too embarrassed to tell anyone. A man's domestic abuse almost never comes out.

    He has to balance a mom n a wife n if even one aren't pleased, his life n peace goes for a toss.

    In many good men's life, I have seen the women in their family treated superior to the men, mother, sisters, wife, daughters, anyone.
    The men are expected to protect all of them. He is expected to carry the whole weight of his family n the loved ones on his shoulders forever. He is expected to stand strong against any external forces.

    Just sharing a few things that I can remember right now. A man's life isn't any easy either. All my life I have seen the men around me work so hard to protect n provide for their families, from my great grand father to even the protective instincts of my small son.

    Sometimes I feel that men are under appreciated for all that they do. I agree there are moron men out there too but a good man's life isn't a cake Walk.

    As a woman, I know all the challenges we have to go through too. So I understand both the sides.

    Not all women are saints n not all men are devils. Every one has to face their life with all its good n bad.

    If a female's life has a certain kinda hardships, a male's life is equally hard too. Each gender enjoys its perks n suffers its challenges. So is it right to place one gender superior to another ?
     
  4. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

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    :hello:One can wish for any gender baby secretly or openly but is it on our hands? medical science one day may come out with some pill or shot that can cause production of babes of one's choice. If there is a scope for argument or altercation, one can remain secretive about one's wish for a particular gender. A friend of mine wished for one boy and one girl in one go and her wish was granted by the Lord - yes she got twins and yes again it was one each. If wishes are Horses any one can command!
    May I wish you a bony boy?! thanks and Regards. God Bless Us All.
     
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  5. yellowmango

    yellowmango IL Hall of Fame

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    Op....boys get raped,abused,killed,kidnapped and sold for labor too.

    As for the question....there is nothing wrong in wishing for a boy ( or girl) as long as one accepts whatever nature presents them with an open heart.
     
  6. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

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    :hello:wonderful, intellectual, thoughtful, thought-provoking delightful jotting. thanks. I relished it. you had nicely equipoised the arguments for genders. thanks and Regards. god Bless us all.
     
  7. WiseAgnes

    WiseAgnes Gold IL'ite

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    I believe that you just shouldn't focus on gender, whether it is a boy or a girl. I was born the second daughter and I would be very hurt to learn that my parents wished for a boy and were disappointed when they got the second girl. Fortunately, both of my parents love to tell stories about how happy they were, how my dad, when he held me for the first time, cried and kissed my little toes because he was so happy. Women are often treated as second-class citizens in our society and if a girl is made to feel that she was not good enough, she will feel like this her whole life. It will prevent her from moving forward in her career and choosing a guy who will love and respects her as she deserves.
    When I was pregnant with twins, both me and my husband secretly wished that at least one of our children is a girl. I really didn't want to have two boys, I always hoped to become a mother to a girl. I remember feeling resentful when I imagined that I had two boys. I felt so guilty about feeling this way. Turns out, my husband also didn't want to have two boys, but was silent about it until he learned that we had both a boy and a girl. He also said he felt guilty about resenting the idea of having two boys. My point is every child is precious and a blessing, whether it is a boy or a girl. It's important for any child to know that she or he is loved, wanted and accepted. Wish for a happy and healthy child, not for a specific gender.
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2017
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  8. Needtobestrong

    Needtobestrong Platinum IL'ite

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    Nothing wrong..just make sure u don't get disappointed if it's a girl..and don't let that child know you wanted a boy..boy or girl, these days children have to be taught to be strong and bold and smart..
     
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  9. Thyagarajan

    Thyagarajan Finest Post Winner

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    super coincidence in mind and:hello: thought. lovely. God Bless Us All.
     
  10. sindmani

    sindmani Platinum IL'ite

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    Nailed it
     

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