What is the secret ingredient for a Happy Marriage?

In our marriage of 5 years, the secret ingredient was replacing "i" with "we" & "my" with "ours" making it more of -we, us and ours than i,me, myself.

Regarding In-laws & relatives i dont have much interference from them(though we live within 35 miles) hence idk.

Rgds,
ds

 

In kung fu panda's style "Nothing". There is no secret ingredient.

 

I think married couple need to feel like a team. Trust,faith, respect,love,care,affection and helping nature is needed. A great team can make the impossible possible.

 

I for one, posting secrets do not mean we had less inlaws issues or does not mean we have great marriage(sadly). Its just from our own experience that we feel what could have prevented things from happening. When a woman gets married, she foolishly expects that if she respects everybody then everybody will love her. But, the fact is in india the inlaws and the husband expects wife to get adjusted into the family no matter how they welcome you.. husbands bother only about results. they dont care about whether his family is right or wrong. its EXPECTED that you as a wife does not disturb the existing ecosysytem in the family and no family member should feel that you are existing (like a maid ).

So, in short. if you feel you can have it all you are just being foolish. You have to make choices in life. We still have the choice to listen to our inlaws and feel bad or we can choose to ignore. You know, same applies for husband too. If your husband is unreasonable as well then same holds for him. Just accept people the way they are (even if you dont likfe them or what they do to you) and live your life. THe minute you feel your goodness are expected and are taken for granted it is time to withdraw , be it any relationship. hubsand or with inlaws.

 

In our 6 years of married life..the only secret ingredient is "Communication". Both of us will just speak our heart out to each other

 

Choosing the right battle (while ignoring the other annoyances)

Having a mind of our own (both bride and groom)

 

Well, we sailed through the initial hiccups fine with lots of patience. Initially I used to favor my relatives and tell him what bad his relatives have done, but I'm glad my DH kept quiet then. Later when we lived separately from both sets of parents, we talked and talked and talked, and after reading many stories on IndusLadies, I learnt what wrong I was doing. I understood that I love my parents but they are humans too and could do wrong. Same case with DH. And now the situation is like we can talk good/bad about any relative/parent on either side. And we could not be happier.

 

Actually this is what my DH wants me to do, but I somehow lose my cool. Felt that hiccups and still facing some. But always my DH and mom ask me to consider the action rather than getting tensed. "kariyam perisa verriyam perisa" is what my mom says. That works, but not always. If there is some patience and lots of love and mutual respect, I think even without other ingredients, the food is palatable.

 

actually omission of one particular ingredient will make married life happier!