What is the right way?.Please help me choose.

If I were you, I will take the job and take parents offer to help with the kid. A Govt. job is hard to get and if you land on such a job, in later years the retirement benefits will be great. It's also depends on your family's financial stability and your DH's decision.

I am one of those mostly raised by grandparents, I have the same love/respect for parents as my siblings.

 

Please answer these questions.

If it requires frequent transfers, how does your husband plan to move along with you? Does his job have that kind of flexibility?

Do you have any idea of where you may be transferred in future? Same state, same district? Towns? Cities? Villages? Location will have an impact on your child's education prospects.

Will you be transferred in the middle of the school year? Don't employees have any say in when in an year you can move?

Once you are fixed in new location, do you have to travel?

If your husband has the flexibility to move along with you and you think your child will receive good education, why not take the better job offer?

 

Please try to take the job up provided you find a flexibility with DH and son. If they are fine and if they can adjust and accomodate your absence, please go ahead.

 

Hello OP,

Congratulations on your promotion!
there is is no simple answer to your question. There are lots of factors to consider. SimpleMom has given some great questions which might give you clarity. You have worked hard to get where you are and it is only natural to want to progress to the next level.

Finding someone to give your son stability (residence, school etc) and love is a way of fulfilling your responsibility should you choose to take this job offer. And it's great that your parents have offered to step in to do it. When there is a huge change, the child would take some time getting used to it. When there are trusted people taking care of your child, the child will certainly settle in and flourish.

It is an extremely personal choice to leave your child with parents; there are several parents in my family and friends circle who have left their children with their parents while they stabilise in their fields. I haven't seen a single child being adversely affected by it. The children do thrive once they have settled in. And the children do continue to bond with their parents too - in this age of VoIP communication, staying in touch is so much easier.

You could also think of alternatives in case you are still confused: is there an option of not taking the promotion now but reserving it for a couple of years? Is there an option that your husband also shifts base when you get transferred? Perhaps your parents will agree to move in with you when you get transferred? I've known people in transferable government jobs staying in one location for 8-9 years, thanks to extensions... You could find out how that might come about?

We cannot advocate you choose your son over your job or vice versa. However, I hope the responses here help you reach a decision which will make you happy. All the best!

 

Are they offering to help u with child care or are they offering to raise the child.?

 

I would try and strike a balance - pass up on the promotion for now hoping there will be another chance in about 10 years so I can both keep my job and be with my kid. If I do not get a chance again in 10 years, I just have to feel sure I will not have regrets for I would have spent time with my kid and invested in his growth as a healthy kid with parents time and attention.

Aamrapali

 

Hi

I too agree with aamrapali words.as you said your kid will become reserved without ur attention , i think now is not the best time.you may get promotions in future but ur kid might miss the love and pampering from you which you cannot give him in future.
i too mised the love from my parents and even if i wish now i may not get that child life back.
Everything matters when making a decision.think twice and make a wise decision.

 

Selvi, you don't say anything about what you want!
Money, husband, son, parents ... I hear you.
You?
You took that exam.
What do you want?

 

I think you should not drop the job...cos its very difficult to get government jobs.At the sametime your kid s too small...this is the time he needs your presence the most..I dont kno if there is an option to take leave for 1 yr or so..if s go for it..or take your baby with u wherever u go..n after his skul hours arrange some babysitting. .here in dubai most moms do the same